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Reconstructing the Human Tapestry: Lessons from Two Survivors

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 29 Apr 2024 13:04:08 GMT

Reconstructing the Human Tapestry: Lessons from Two Survivors

Gad was 10 years old when he saw people going door to door, hauling out his neighbors, shooting them and burning down their homes.

Stephen was 7 years old when he was separated from his family, only to find out later that most of his family was murdered.

In the intricate tapestry of history, the threads of human conflict and dignity intersect to create some powerful perspectives around the events we face today. As we take in the tragic story of what is happening now between Israelis and Palestinians, I’ve found two stories that offer unique insights into the connection between conflict and dignity – and one way forward.

Gad Partok's story unfolds against the backdrop of World War II. He was a witness to the Nazis sending almost 5,000 of his fellow Tunisian Jews to labor camps, where dozens died from labor, disease, and Allied bombing campaigns. Partok said his family escaped because his father disguised the family’s Jewish identity.

On October 7, 2023, when Hamas unleashed a wave of violence in Israel, it shattered Parktok’s perception of safety and sanctuary. From his home in Ashkelon, Israel, he shared a perspective on the chaos and destruction wrought by extremists. The images of militants pillaging and terrorizing communities were a vivid reminder of the fragility of human dignity. “I thought — what, is this the same period of those Nazis? It can’t be,” Partok said.

Stephen Kapos, an 86-year-old Holocaust survivor, also witnessed unimaginable adversity. As a small boy, he remembers hiding from the Arrow Cross fascist movement, which rounded up Jews, shot them and dumped them into the Danube.

From the depths of despair during Nazi persecution in Hungary, Kapos also emerged with a perspective on human conflict and dignity. Addressing U.S. students protesting Israel’s continued war and the deaths of tens of thousands of Palestinians, he signaled that the students were on the right side of history. "There is a question of historical responsibility towards injustice, genocide, and fascism," Kapos said. "If you are indifferent, if you do not take a stand, you acquire a degree of guilt without any doubt, and I think it is imperative to assert opposition and even some degree of disadvantage and risk if you want to be guilt-free when history judges what's happening."

In the stories of Stephen Kapos and Gad Partok, we might discover one profound truth – conflict is an incredible force that can severely damage our human dignity. In the throes of conflict, we can be stripped of our self-worth and what we hope for can be shattered.

Whether we're talking about conflict in our own lives or looking at world conflict, what Partok and Kapos are getting at is this connection between conflict and human dignity. We must understand that preserving one hinges upon the resolution of the other.

In my Leadership Circle, we talk about collaborative construction. Collaborative construction ask us, as leaders, to bring the power of empathy, fierce conversations, and shared purpose to conflict. Whether within our families, with our teams or in our communities, collaborative, constructive leadership calls for a commitment to get to a better place, share responsibility, and heal.

When we’re facing conflict, it’s only through collaborative, constructive efforts that we can bring about lasting change – we can’t succeed alone. If one person is diminished, we are all diminished.

I don’t pretend to know how difficult it will be for Israelis and Palestinians to rise above the destructive forces that perpetuate cycles of violence, embracing a new collaborative construction. If you’re anything like me, it’s tough enough to get through conflict within our own homes, families, and teams, let alone in our greater world.

But really thinking about experiences and perspectives of Stephen and Gad can remind us that the destructive forces constantly threaten our collective well-being. We’ve got to find ways to consistently rebuild what has been broken, to heal the wounds of the past, and build a more empowered future, whether at home or abroad.

Rediscover You: Refreshing Your Focus Every Quarter

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Sun, 21 Apr 2024 19:48:05 GMT

Rediscover You: Refreshing Your Focus Every Quarter

As a leadership coach, I get to work with a diverse range of entrepreneurs and intrapreneurs – quite a few real estate agents, fitness professionals, mortgage lenders, government contractors and others. Come April, it's like clockwork – we all start realizing how easy it is to lose sight of our yearly goals by the end of the first quarter. Life gets busy, we get caught up in the whirlwind of reactivity, and suddenly, those big dreams we had at the start of the year feel miles away.

I know firsthand. I'm not just a coach – I’m a player-coach. I lead a real estate team and a few other ventures, and like you, I juggle those and a lot of other things – from nurturing my relationship with Veronica and embracing the joys of parenthood with our new baby girl, to spending time with friends, helping Hope for Henry with its philanthropic mission, and exploring the world.

But amidst all the “chaos,” it's super important to remember our goals. Because if we don't, we risk waking up one day and wondering, "What do I have to show for all this hustle?"

So, how do we stay focused and assess our progress as we near the end of the first quarter of 2024? Are we closer to our 2024 goals, or have we veered off track?

Here's a quick look into a few exercises my Leadership Circle and I just wrapped up during our early April retreat – you might find some review and focused questions helpful…

· Goal Review. We kicked things off by revisiting our goals for the first quarter of 2024 and giving each one a thorough once-over. If a goal fell short, we asked ourselves. Did fear, indecision, negative thinking, or inconsistency hold us back? If so, why?

What other commitments or priorities pulled us away from our goals? Did we need better prioritization, or are we okay with the compromises we made?

Did burnout sneak up on us? How did we manage our energy, and how can we avoid hitting that wall next time?

Do we still want to chase this goal, and if so, how can we make it happen in the second quarter of 2024?

The key here? No beating ourselves up. It's about learning and growing. And if we did hit a goal, did we celebrate?! Then, we asked ourselves what strengths got us there and how we can use those strengths to keep that momentum going.

· Calendar Review: Next up, we dove into our quarterly calendars.

We looked at where our time went – planning, executing, and evaluating.

Did our recurring meetings move the needle, or were they just time suckers? Which engagements fueled us, and how can we dial up more of that energy next quarter? And those energy drains? Yeah, they need to get the boot.

What did we miss on our calendars that should've been there? More time for revenue-generating gigs? More space for self-care and fun? It's all about finding that balance.

· Sphere of Life Review: We also took stock of what I call our “4 Spheres of Life” – People, Profit, Passion, and Play – and rated them on a 1-10 scale.

We then thought about the one or two spheres where we need the most work: "Have we invested enough time and energy in this sphere? Do we understand our needs and goals? Who can help us in this sphere?

We homed in on where we need to level up. Are we investing enough in each sphere? Do we know our needs and goals, and who can help us get there?

Real growth? Sure, you know all about journaling, goal setting, reviewing, and ongoing improvement. And do you have tools that help you stay focused? Ultimately, where your focus goes is where your life leads.

I hope you’ll continue to join us here each week for more on growth and (hopefully) some inspiration to keep your momentum up through 2024.

And if there’s anything I can do to help you, don’t hesitate to reach out.

Navigating Turbulent Waters: Lessons from the Titanic to the Francis Scott Key Bridge Collapse

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 01 Apr 2024 07:32:19 GMT

Navigating Turbulent Waters: Lessons from the Titanic to the Francis Scott Key Bridge Collapse

As most of you know, tragedy struck on what would have otherwise been an ordinary night earlier this week in the heart of Baltimore. The Francis Scott Key Bridge, an iconic structure that spanned the Patapsco River, became the focal point of a devastating disaster that has shaken Baltimore and the region to its core. As I think about the events of that night, there’s a lot to unpack, from preparedness and the “why” behind a crisis to quick thinking and the human capacity for heroism in the face of adversity.

When we think about a crisis or disaster, we can be lulled into thinking that there’s a simple cause and effect. We can be lulled into thinking that the Titanic sank because it hit an iceberg, for example. But there’s almost always a lot more at play, including with the Titanic.

The “unsinkable” Titanic’s massive compartment doors were presumed to be watertight, but the doors were not capped at the top. The ship’s captain didn’t slow the speed of the Titanic as it crossed the Atlantic, despite warnings of icebergs. The crew ignored ice warnings from other nearby ships, and the ship’s lookouts were missing the binoculars needed to properly spot icebergs. Once the Titanic hit the iceberg, a tragedy was almost guaranteed, as the 20 lifeboats were not enough to hold the number of passengers on the ship. Many lifeboats were launched with fewer people than they could hold, because the Titanic crew had canceled its scheduled lifeboat drill earlier in the day.

While it’s still too early to understand all the reasons for the Francis Scott Key Bridge disaster, like virtually all disasters it too is likely the result of many factors, just one of which was the Singapore-flagged vessel Dali losing propulsion and crashing into the one of the bridge’s supports. The most recent federal inspection report for the Key Bridge, filed in May 2022, gave the bridge span a score of 6 out of 9, which is considered "fair,” but the latest inspection report did note concerns over one of its reinforced concrete columns. Further, a crash like the Dali’s with the Key Bridge is unusual – shipping experts say crashes caused by engine failure, steering failure or generator blackout are very uncommon. But this is not the first incident involving the Dali, which, while attempting to leave a Belgian port in 2016 scraped its stern along the quay, damaging the hull. Additionally, the Key Bridge, built in the 1970s, didn’t have structures called fenders and dolphins of newer bridges which absorb impact, like the bumper on a car, to keep them safe. Also, the two 5,000-horsepower tugboats, which only minutes earlier had helped guide the Dali out of its berth at the Port of Baltimore and peeled off, turned back, and raced toward the Dali to help but were too late.

And what we often focus on is the sudden, end result that becomes a crisis or disaster. The Dali’s impact with the Key Bridge was swift and devastating, causing a section of the bridge to crumble – and 8 construction workers with it – into the river below.

Amidst the chaos and confusion, and unlike the Titanic disaster, the actions of the ship's pilot and others emerge as a beacon of hope. With the Dali’s total loss of power and the ship moving swiftly toward a crash with the Key Bridge, the Dali’s pilot recognized the imminent danger and quickly issued a mayday, giving the authorities controlling the bridge just enough time to stop vehicles from crossing the span – about 90 seconds. The pilot also dropped the ship’s anchor to try to slow the ship down. He prevented an even greater catastrophe, as did the police patrolling the bridge – just 90 seconds were needed for officers to stop traffic over the Baltimore bridge in both directions. The mayday calls also accelerated the Coast Guard’s rescue response, which was fast enough to pull two of the eight people from the water. The swift decision-making and calm under pressure by the pilot, the police and the Coast Guard undoubtedly saved lives and minimized the extent of the disaster.

As I think about what lessons we can learn from disasters, whether it be the Titanic or the Francis Scott Key Bridge collapse, there are several takeaways from crises we might apply to our own lives…

Preparation is paramount. Just as a bridge's or ships’ structural weaknesses can be contribute to disaster, neglecting to address potential vulnerabilities in our own lives can have dire consequences. Whether it's maintaining your physical infrastructure or prioritizing your mental and emotional well-being, being proactive can mitigate your risks and prevent or ease a crisis. And with coaching and training, when a crisis does emerge, you’ve drilled on how to respond.
Clear communication and collaboration are essential. In the seconds after the Dali’s loss of power and the bridge crash, the ship’s pilot and Baltimore emergency responders worked quickly and skillfully to coordinate rescue efforts. By keeping open lines of communication and working with your supporter, you can mobilize your resources effectively and minimize the impact of unforeseen, difficult events in your life
Resilience and adaptability are key to facing adversity. While the collapse of the Francis Scott Key Bridge dealt a devastating blow to the region, Marylander’s are rallying together with strength and determination to rebuild and recover. In times of crisis, it's essential to be flexible and resilient, embracing the inevitability of change and finding innovative solutions to overcome challenges.

We’re going to hear a lot more in the weeks and months ahead about the Francis Scott Key Bridge collapse. While what happened unfolds, let’s honor the victims and heroes by learning from the mistakes and striving to create a safer, more resilient future. By applying the lessons from this tragedy to our own lives, we’re better equipped to navigate our own crises with courage, with compassion, and with resolve.

Hump Day Hustle: How to Maximize Your Midweek Momentum

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Wed, 27 Mar 2024 12:06:30 GMT

Hump Day Hustle: How to Maximize Your Midweek Momentum

Happy Hump Day!

I don’t usually reach out to you on Wednesdays, and I wanted to share that Wednesday isn't just any ol' day – it's the linchpin of your week. Why?

As I’m sharing with my Leadership Circle this quarter, Wednesday isn't just the midpoint of the typical work week calendar. It's a golden opportunity for us to hit pause, reassess, and realign ourselves with what really matters – our weekly priorities.

Imagine Wednesdays as a strategic milestone. What if you recognized Wednesdays as the best moment to evaluate your progress, reassess your goals, and act on your objectives? This deliberate attention to Wednesday comes from recognizing that, if you’re anything like me, Mondays and Tuesdays are often consumed by the whirlwind of tasks, meetings, and deadlines, leaving us feeling like we're merely playing catch-up.

Enter Wednesday – the day that can be both reckoning and renewal.

At the heart of this approach lies the concept of what I call our "Big 3" priorities. These are the three key areas that, when given consistent daily and weekly attention, serve as the linchpin between where you are and what you want for a more fulfilling life. These priorities are often changing, but they always encompass 4 core elements that I call People, Profit, Passion and Play — everything from meaningful relationships and business development to personal growth, staying healthy and having fun.

So, why is Wednesday the ideal day to recalibrate our focus on the Big 3? First, it provides a natural midpoint for reflection. By Wednesday, you’ve had enough time to gauge the momentum of the week – what's working well and what needs adjustment. This midweek checkpoint allows you to course-correct before drifting too far off track. Second, Wednesday injects a sense of urgency without the overwhelm. It's not too early to feel like there's still enough time to make a difference, and yet it's not too late to salvage the week if things haven't gone according to plan. This balance of pressure and possibility can fuel your motivation to tackle your priorities head-on.

And maybe most importantly, a Wednesday “breath” can help you grow your accountability and intentionality. As I share with my Leadership Circle, you can share insights, challenges, and victories on Wednesdays from the week so far. This collective dialogue not only reinforces your commitment to your goals but also grows a sense of camaraderie and support among your team — whether with your work teams or the team that you call family.

So, how can you make the most of your Wednesdays and ensure you're staying aligned with your Big 3 objectives? Here are my 3 “M’s” of how to make Wednesdays your very best…

Morning Reflection . Start your Wednesday with a brief moment of reflection. Review your Big 3 priorities and assess your progress thus far. Celebrate wins, identify areas for improvement, and set clear intentions for the remainder of the week.
Midweek Check-in . Schedule dedicated time on Wednesday to connect with your team and accountability partners. Share updates, get feedback, and offer support to one another. Leverage the collective wisdom of your team to overcome challenges and stay focused on your goals.
Mindful Momentum . Based on your midweek assessment, create a focused action plan that will be a springboard for your next few days. Break down your priorities into manageable tasks, set deadlines, and allocate resources accordingly. Keep your action plan visible and revisit it regularly to stay on course.

Wednesday isn't just a midpoint — it’s a strategic opportunity for you to reset, refocus, and realign your weekly priorities. By embracing the significance of this day and recommitting to your Big 3 objectives, you can harness the power of momentum and make meaningful progress towards the life you really want.

So, as you navigate through your week, remember: Wednesdays matter – make them count.

In the Crucible: Leading beyond War and Assassination

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 18 Mar 2024 12:46:15 GMT

"The Civil War defined us as what we are and it opened us to being what we became, good and bad things...

It was the crossroads of our being, and it was a hell of a crossroads."

— Shelby Foote, Author

photo courtesy of Apple

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In the Crucible: Leading beyond War and Assassination

Edwin was born in the small town of Steubenville, Ohio. His education started in Miss Randle’s kindergarten and was followed by Henry Orr’s seminary around the block. At 10, he entered George Buchanan’s nearby Latin school where he was called “an imperious and self-reliant young man.”

Edwin’s lifelong struggle with asthma might have contributed to his temper, but so could have the early death of his father and the deaths of his brother and two children.

And on the eve of achieving his life’s dream — nomination to the Supreme Court — Edwin Stanton’s chronic asthma caused his death in 1869.

I’m enjoying a new TV show — Monica Beletsky’s “Manhunt” miniseries. It chronicles the 12-day hunt for John Wilkes Booth as a true-crime detective thriller.

Based on the book “Manhunt: The 12-Day Chase for Lincoln’s Killer” by writer James L. Swanson, the show goes well beyond getting the bad guy, portraying the American tragedy about a divided nation in the wake of the U.S. Civil War. It’s also the story of Edwin Stanton — husband, father, attorney, Attorney General and Secretary of War — at the one of our country’s most turbulent times.

As I watch the story unfold and dive deeper into the life of Edwin Stanton, I’m thinking that we can learn a lot about leadership by studying the events during Stanton’s life…

Be ready to play defense. The United States wasn’t prepared to protect a president in 1865. Almost prophetically, President Abraham Lincoln established the Secret Service the same day he was assassinated at Ford's Theatre in Washington, D.C., by John Wilkes Booth. However, it would take another 36 years and the assassination of two more Presidents — James Garfield and William McKinley — before Congress added protection of the President to the list of duties performed by the Secret Service.

Be ready to grow into new roles. Edwin wasn’t born a leader. He took up the law in his early adulthood and grew into his leadership. He was a staunch Democrat but grew steadily more outspoken in his opposition to slavery. As Attorney General, he opposed the abandonment of Fort Sumter in the Charleston, South Carolina, harbor by Union forces. During the Civil War, he grew to insist on tighter management of the War department, gave little to people who sought favors, and continually pushed for a more aggressive prosecution of the war. He agreed to continue in his post under President Andrew Johnson and skillfully managed the difficult demobilization of Union and Confederate forces at the end of the war.

Be ready to lead when others can’t — or won’t. While the North mourned Lincoln’s death and the South watched and waited, Stanton held the nation together. Shot on Good Friday, Lincoln was mourned in churches across the North on Easter Sunday as a Christ-like savior who died for his nation’s sins, and during Passover-week Sabbath services Lincoln was compared to the Hebrew liberator Moses who had freed his people and led them to the Promised Land only to die before he could see it himself. In the Confederacy, the sentiment was more this: “Old Abe has gone to answer before the bar of God for the innocent blood which he has permitted to be shed, and his efforts to enslave a free people” — meaning Southern whites.

And while others mourned and watched, Edwin played the leading role in the investigation and trial of the conspirators. For a short time, while President Johnson was establishing his presidency, Stanton virtually directed the running of the U.S. government in the stricken capital.

While Stanton took on an ever increasing leadership role, he hardly had an easy road. He was soon fighting with President Johnson over the nature of Reconstruction policy toward the defeated South. He used his position to foster stricter Reconstruction measures than the president desired. The situation finally became so untenable that Johnson tried to remove Stanton from office. Johnson’s persistence resulted in his impeachment by the House of Representatives but fell one short of conviction in the Senate.

Ultimately, Johnson avoiding removal from office meant Edwin had to resign his cabinet position and he returned to private law practice. Later, Stanton was nominated to the U.S. Supreme Court by President Ulysses S. Grant. And unfortunately, he died four days later from the asthma that challenged him throughout his life.

A lot of what we can watch on TV today doesn’t leave us with much to think about beyond drama, whether fictional or “real life," while we have war and assassination happening in our world today. And yet “Manhunt” and its portrayal of Stanton's firm commitment to upholding the not only his principles but the Union's principles is something you might consider watching as you think about how to lean into the challenges in your life.

How can we play defense, grow and be ready to lead when we’re called upon? That’s exactly why I share my thoughts with you here from time to time. It’s in thinking about these questions that we can find our best leader selves.

Leading Beyond the Boardroom: Ways We Can Lead with Our Family and Friends

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 11 Mar 2024 14:28:05 GMT

" Leadership is possible in all different ways, and in all different areas of life. Whether it is with friends or family, I expect them to set a great example for me, and hopefully I will do the same for them. All that is all part of being a leader. "

— Steve Nash,

Sports owner, professional basketball player and coach

photo courtesy of Adamgregor

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Leading Beyond the Boardroom: Leader ship with Our Family and Friends

As I sit here late at night in my parent’s family room, a few hours away from our home, thinking about you, it dawns on me that we’re often wrapped up with how leadership impacts us in the work world. But the reality is that it permeates every part of our lives – and especially our relationships with family and friends.

This weekend, the conversations with my parents are covering a myriad of topics, from advice on navigating parenthood with our newborn daughter to discussing strategies for managing their health.

After talking about baby nighttime fussiness, my mother shared with me about how “tummy time” for my brother, my sister and I really helped to tire us out when we were little, making the nighttime more manageable. She came up with some ideas on how we could do it this weekend. As she talked about her knee and asked about mine, I shared with her more about my experiences with knee surgeries and rehab how she might think about knees. Same with my father — after talking about eye health, I shared what it was like when I underwent Lasik surgery and the incredible advances in eye surgery even as he faces one himself.

Sure, we could look at these conversations as ordinary. But we’re really leading each other through these shared thoughts and experiences. It's a reminder that our leadership extends far beyond our workplaces.

This quarter, as I delve deeper into my work with our Leadership Circle, I'm emphasizing the importance of our "Big 3" priorities. These are the three crucial areas that, when given daily and weekly attention, bridge the gap between our current reality and what we really want for our lives. But when we’re faced with challenging work or a turbulent economy – or both – how can we prioritize a “Big 3” around our family and friends, nurturing meaningful connections with the people we love in a way that gives them time on our center stage?

Here are 3 key ways I’m thinking about right now for fostering growth and fulfillment in what I call the “People” sphere of our lives:

Communicate . Actively listen to understand rather than to respond. Ask questions that allow for discovery first and foremost. Engage in open, honest conversations, and create a safe space for your loved ones to express their thoughts and feelings.

Empower . Support and encourage personal growth and development in your inner circle. Provide guidance when needed, but emphasize empowering them to make their own decisions and learn from both their experiences as well as the experiences of others.

Be Present . Be fully present in moments spent with family and friends. Put away the phone and other distractions , actively engage in activities together, and cherish the precious moments shared. Remember, it's the quality not quantity of time that matters most.

Incorporating these principles into my interactions with loved ones is really strengthening how I feel in my relationships. I see it as tied to cultivating a culture of leadership within our inner circles.

What are you doing to lead with your family and friends right now? I’d love to hear from you. In the meantime, let’s imagine a world where we inspire growth and create deeper connections that transcend the boundaries of our boardrooms and office spaces.

Embracing Every Moment: Lessons from a Day in the Virginia Countryside

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Sun, 03 Mar 2024 15:40:10 GMT

" Do every act of your life as though it were the very last act of your life."

— Marcus Aurelius,

Roman Emperor and Philosopher

photo courtesy of Bradley Weber

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Embracing Every Moment: Lessons from a Day in the Virginia Countryside

Recently, Veronica and I took a trip to the beautiful Virginia countryside around Flint Hill, Virginia. As we took in the breathtaking, winter scenery of rolling hills, horses, cattle and more, we decided to stop for lunch at the inviting Dark Horse Irish Pub. Little did we know that our dining experience would include both delicious food and the unexpected wisdom of a heartfelt connection.

Upon entering the cozy pub, we were greeted incredibly warmly. Our waiter was a young man who attended to us graciously through our meal, and when he had to leave was replaced by an older waiter. The older waiter had a twinkle in his eye, as they say, and he immediately struck a chord with us. As our main meal switched to delicious desserts, he engaged us in some lively conversation and took a genuine interest in our newborn daughter in the stroller by our table. His genuine care and enthusiasm was really something.

As we were leaving and saying goodbye, our waiter shared something that really resonated with us. He asked if he could share one piece of advice, as a father of older children, and, politely, we said yes.

“A lot of people will tell you to enjoy the ‘first’ experiences with your baby. But I would offer this,” he said. “ Embrace every moment as if it could be your ‘last’ experience. Not that there isn’t something good on the other side of ‘last,” but just that the ‘last’ experience won’t be something that you’ll get back.”

Those words really hit us. I couldn't help but think about the lessons we might get from his words, as parents and as leaders. His advice about embracing every moment as if it could be our last is always a part of our entrepreneurial and leadership journeys. In the fast-paced world of business, isn’t it easy to get caught up in the pursuit of success and overlook the beauty of the present moment? And how about in the race we know as our personal lives? But if we embrace mindfulness and being fully present in our interactions, we can find real fulfillment and purpose.

Here are my 3 thoughts about getting the most out of our every experience…

Be fully present. Immerse yourself in the richness of each moment, amplifying your senses and deepening your connections with others. By quieting the distractions of the past and present and any anxieties about the future, you can savor the beauty and nuance of the moment with more clarity and appreciation.
Embrace the moment. Let go of expectations and judgments and engage with your present reality. By embracing each moment with an open heart and mind, you can find gratitude for the beauty and opportunities that surround you.
Live with passion. Find some purpose, energy, and enthusiasm in everything you do. When you approach life with passion, even the simplest tasks become opportunities for creativity, growth, and expression.

By incorporating these principles into your life as a leader, whether with your work teams, in your community or with your family and friends, you can create a culture of authenticity, resilience, and innovation everywhere you are. By pursuing presence, embracing each moment, and feeling the passion of each moment, we can fuel our motivation and find the inspiration to pursue our dreams. That’s exactly what I received with our waiter’s advice – a spark to rethink how I approach every moment with our daughter, with my family, and with you.

After all, it's not just about the "firsts" or the "lasts" but about the magic that exists in every moment along the way. That’s where wonder, spontaneity, and joy all live.

Reese’s Resilience and Resetting Your Path

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Sun, 25 Feb 2024 17:21:38 GMT

"Your past doesn't define you; your ability to reset and restart does."

— Anonymous

photo courtesy of Flickr

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Reese’s Resilience and Resetting Your Path

In the challenging world of Hollywood, with a sea of scripts and opportunities, Reese knew what she wanted. Despite some early success and the offers of darker and more intense roles, she was drawn towards “optimistic” storylines that inspired and uplifted. She wanted to make a meaningful impact on her audience, especially girls and young women.

“I got a role in this movie called Freeway playing this really angry, aggressive, violent young woman who believed wholeheartedly in the truth,” Reese shared. “I had such satisfaction afterward, and I thought, that's what I want to do.”

It wasn’t an easy path. While she was accepted into Stanford, she dropped out to continue acting, became pregnant and had her first child at 23. She could have lost focus as she juggled family life while holding down a career.

And by staying focused on what she really wanted, Reese Witherspoon ultimately won the Academy Award for Best Actress for her performance as June Carter Cash in "Walk the Line."

Reese stayed true to her vision and refused to bend to the industry's norms or chase trends. In a world where we’re constantly distracted and can easily lose sight of our priorities, Reese’s story shows the transformative potential of prioritizing what truly matters.

How do we create focused action and impact in our own lives? It starts with a journey of self-discovery and transformation, armed with the knowledge that staying true to our priorities is the key to unlocking our potential.

As I’ve shared you with you, I’ve been working with my Leadership Circle this month on identifying those top three daily challenges across personal growth, professional success, and familial harmony, and locking onto them with action. That's what I call a "Big 3" strategy — a game-changer that can change your approach to goals and productivity.

You’re going to hit bumps in the road – and what do you do when you hit them? Just because she knew what she wanted doesn’t mean Reese was set for life once she had found some success. She went through a divorce and was left with her 2 kids, all while she dropped below the Hollywood radar. She could’ve been considered as a failed actress at 36 since she hadn’t hit any big-time movies since “Walk the Line.”

She reset and refocused, opening her own production company, Hello Sunshine, so she could create intricate and real female characters that she wanted to play. And again, she was nominated for an Academy Award for her role in “Wild.”

In our fast-paced lives, it's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle, losing sight of what truly matters. That's where "reset time" comes into play — a designated time for us to step back, reflect, and refocus on our priorities.

If you hit a bump, take a moment to reset and refocus. Tune into your inner voice and listen to your intuition. Whether it's a daily practice of mindfulness, a weekly check-in with yourself, or a planned retreat to disconnect from the noise of everyday life, "reset time" will allows you to hit the pause button and realign with what's most important.

During these moments of reflection, you can evaluate your current path and make any necessary adjustments to make sure you’re moving in the right direction. You’ll regain clarity on what truly matters and then be ready to take deliberate steps to prioritize what’s important in your life. Whether it's spending more quality time with loved ones, pursuing your passions, or investing in personal growth, "reset time" serves as a valuable tool for realigning your actions with your values and living a more purposeful and happy life.

“I think movies are great and I have a great time making them,” Reese Witherspoon says, “but they're not what keeps you warm at night, or what's ultimately the most important thing in anyone's life journey.”

Here’s to that journey – and taking time to reset and refocus on what’s most important.

Closing the Gap: Kareem’s Legacy and Your “Big 3” to Success

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 19 Feb 2024 16:18:53 GMT

"Don't hope. Hope is for people who aren't prepared."

— Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

photo courtesy of Yahoo

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Closing the Gap: Kareem’s Legacy and Your “Big 3” to Success

In the fast-paced world we live in, it's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of daily tasks and lose sight of our priorities. If you’re anything like me, it happens when we think about the gaps between where we are and where we want to go, in business or in our personal lives.

Kareem dedicates much of his time now to empowering marginalized communities, reflected in his book "Writings on the Wall: Searching for a New Equality Beyond Black and White." He was asked once about his ability to prioritize amidst the glitz of a storied career.

He emphasized the importance of avoiding trivial distractions, saying, "Sometimes people get caught up in irrelevant matters, hindering progress towards their goals."

From the racial and social injustice he experienced as a child and the challenges of being a practicing Muslim in a predominately non-Muslim society, to the leukemia he was diagnosed with in 2008 and the transition he had to make from professional basketball to a more “ordinary” life, former NBA star Kareem Abdul-Jabbar knows a thing or two about prioritizing what’s important in life.

So, what's that gap between your best year and where you are now? Or perhaps you're at the peak of your success so far, and you're looking to keep growing. Whichever the case, I’ve learned that it’s essential to critically evaluate and plan for improvement in all spheres of our lives.

This month, I’m encouraging my Leadership Circle to rethink what I call our "Big 3" priorities – the three key areas that, when focused on daily, will help bridge the gap between where we are and where we want to be. These priorities could range from expanding your business to fostering stronger relationships or enhancing your well-being.

Now, what really excites you about your Big 3? Is it the potential for exponential growth in your business? Or maybe deepening your connections with loved ones? Is it the opportunity to prioritize your self-care and find a better balance in your life? Whatever it may be, embracing these priorities with enthusiasm and determination is the fuel for your journey – and the only way to find success and fulfillment.

“I think the best thing to do is just to realize where you want to get to every day,” Kareem shares. He recommends saying to yourself every day: “I want to get to a certain point. Is this going to help me get there? Or is it going to be just a waste of time?”

Once you've identified your daily Big 3, it's crucial to keep them at the top of your mind. Schedule just enough dedicated time each day to make progress on these priorities, whether it's strategizing for your business, spending quality time with family, or engaging in self-care.

Kareem’s incredible dedication to his goals resulted in some amazing accomplishments. Even though he retired from pro basketball in 1989, he is still the all-time NBA leader in game minutes played and field goals made.

Remember that you don't have to navigate this journey alone. Like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, you can find support and guidance from people like mentors, coaches, and family and friends. It’s the teams in your life that will help you stay on track and avoid falling into patterns of reaction. Find and surround yourself with people who share your proactive vision and can provide you insights and encouragement along the way.

Closing the gap between where you are and where you want to go is about intentional focus and action. By prioritizing your Big 3 and committing to daily reflection and execution, you'll inch closer to your goals and experience profound growth and fulfillment in all areas of your life.

Let's embrace that journey and strive for great things, one priority at a time.

Getting picked last isn't great. Brock would know…

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 12 Feb 2024 14:02:02 GMT

"Not try to overthink things or do anything crazy, just stick to what coach has dialed up. I'm just going to try to play my game and go from there. Just keep it simple."

— Brock Purdy

photo courtesy of the San Francisco 49ers

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Getting picked last isn't great. Brock would know…

As February rolls in, it's time for a reality check on our goals. How often have you lost sight of your aspirations by now, slipping from proactive to reactive mode? I know I have in the past. How do we stay focused in the chaos of a competitive, hyperconnected world? That's a heck of a ball game.

And when we lose sight of our goals – our big goals – we are picking ourselves last.

Brock knows something about that, as I shared with you last year. His journey as a quarterback is a testament to the power of focus. Take, for example, a pivotal game he played in back in 2019, where his Iowa State Cyclones faced off against the Oklahoma Sooners. Under the lights in November in Norman, Oklahoma, Brock quarterbacked Iowa State in a nail-biter of a game in which the Sooners eked out a 42-41 victory. Despite the pressure, Purdy kept his eye on the prize, tying a school record with 6 touchdowns – 5 passing and one running. His secret?

Focus on the task at hand, play by play, amidst the roar of the crowd.

Brock Purdy, now the starting quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers, is set to play in today's Super Bowl. Just a year ago, he earned the moniker "Mr. Irrelevant" as the very last pick of the NFL Draft. Yes, he was picked dead last. Yet, here he stands, ready to lead his team on one of sport's greatest stages. How did he go from last to getting a shot of being number 1?

Simple focus, Brock says. He focuses on and is committed just to what challenge is directly in front of him, play by play, which allows him to take a higher level of action and get a greater result. In describing how he’s grown to become a championship caliber quarterback, Purdy said that games like that 2019 one really helped. “I feel like with just a lot being on the line, in the moment, focusing on what's in front of you, focusing on the defense rather than getting caught up in the crowd."

In a conversation I had with Mandi Dana, a seasoned mentor coach, we explored the essence of focus. Mandi stressed the simplicity of strengthening focus: it's about clarity of purpose, accountability, and unwavering commitment. ( You can watch a Quick Take from our interview by clicking here ). As Brock Purdy exemplifies, focus isn't about incredible discipline or fancy tools; it's about zeroing in on what matters most.

We’re sometimes surprised to find that strengthening focus can be simple with the right framework. As you continue to navigate through 2023, consider embracing the simplicity of focused action. Identify your challenges, commit to your goals, and execute with determination.

Too simple?

This month in my Leadership Circle, we’re focusing on simple goals with a “Big 3” strategy. If you want to strengthen your focus, your team's focus, or your family's focus, consider keeping it simple. Decide on your 3 biggest, most important challenges, identify potential solutions, and execute. If it doesn’t work, take more “Big 3” actions – refocus, recommit, and execute again.

So, if you’re watching the Super Bowl today, and you watch Brock Purdy play, you might remember his story and that just because he was picked last doesn’t mean he couldn’t get to exactly where he wanted to go. For him – and for you – it’s just about strengthening and simplifying focus by putting what you want and what you do first.

Navigating the Storm: Finding Calm in Life's Turbulence

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 05 Feb 2024 18:17:08 GMT

" Rough waters are true tests of leadership. In calm water, every ship has a good captain .”

-- Swedish proverb

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Navigating the Storm: Finding Calm in Life's Turbulence

Many mornings, I like to share with you the stories of people facing unexpected challenges, moments of uncertainty and invaluable lessons on leadership and life amidst life’s storms. Whether it's facing setbacks in recovery, unexpected life events, or professional challenges, the ability to find calm becomes a crucial leadership skill that can make all the difference.

This morning, I’d like to share a little of my personal journey that was January 2024 with you.

Early in January, I underwent knee replacement surgery. While the goal was a straightforward recovery – so I could do more with my growing family – things didn't go exactly as planned. The healing process hasn’t been a linear path, and had my moments of frustration. Pain is no joke. But it was during these moments that I realized one core lesson in finding calm.

Mindfulness helps you manage your ups and downs.

Mindfulness isn't just about sitting cross-legged and chanting "Om." It's a powerful tool that helps you stay present and centered, even when things seem to be spiraling out of control. Applying mindful task management during my recovery – focusing on doing what was most important first – allowed me to adapt to the unpredictable nature of the healing process and find both progress and peace during setbacks.

Yes, I had decided to move forward with the knee replacement about 35 years after I had shattered my knee. Why now? I had put it off as long as possible, but with my fiancé and I expecting a baby, I wanted to be well on my way to recovery before I had to start chasing our little girl down.

As those of you who are parents know very well, life as a new parent is a rollercoaster, and we got off to an unexpected early start. Our baby girl arrived three weeks ahead of schedule! Even in the chaotic moments after her water broke, I realized a second core lesson allowed me to find calm.

Self-care can be your key to mental and physical stability.

Taking care of yourself isn't selfish; it's a necessary act that allows you to do more for yourself and those you love and lead. When faced with having to head to the hospital so my fiancé could birth our baby, taking a breather and making sure I had everything I needed to support her was key. When faced with the sleepless nights and the demands of a newborn, carving out time for self-care continues to be non-negotiable. From grabbing a quick nap and enjoying a quiet cup of coffee to spending 3 days a week doing physical therapy and icing my knee about 4 times a day, these small acts are helping me recharge and approach parenthood with a clearer mind.

In the professional realm, you know that challenges often come in the form of team dynamics and project hiccups. This January, one of my teams faced a period of growth pains as our processes for introducing a new service began to unravel. This required mindfulness, of course, all while I was practicing self-care, but one more lesson became very important to understanding calm.

Self-reflection is an essential leadership activity.

Taking time to self-reflect allows you to step back, assess the situation, and identify areas for improvement. Instead of panicking, I embraced the opportunity to reflect on our processes, address the breakdowns, and pivot towards more effective actions and strategies. This reflection not only salvaged the project but also strengthened our team dynamics and our culture. As one of my teammates, Brantley, shared as we came out the other side of the breakdown…

“So many bad things happen when you’re not calm,” he said.

Research on mindfulness training aligns perfectly with my January experiences. Studies have shown that mindfulness has a profound impact on three self-leadership capacities: mindful task management, self-care, and self-reflection. And more than that, mindfulness enhances two leadership capacities: relating to others and adapting to change. That’s exactly what I found whether it was helping my fiancé or helping my team.

Incorporating mindfulness into your life isn't just a trendy practice – it’s a strategic move for personal and professional growth. It's about honing the skills necessary to navigate life's challenges with grace and resilience.

Life’s storms are inevitable, but how we weather them depends on our ability to find calm in the chaos. Whether you're recovering from surgery, navigating the unpredictable journey of parenthood, or leading a team through challenges, mindfulness, self-care, and self-reflection can be your compass.

So, take a deep breath, find your center, and let the journey unfold with a sense of calm confidence.

Embracing Your Challenges and Goals, Even at Gunpoint

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Sun, 21 Jan 2024 14:53:29 GMT

" Life is different every single day and you need to find the path that works for you. ”

-- Amy Nelson, Entrepreneur

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Embracing Your Challenges and Goals, Even at Gunpoint

Amy didn’t have the luxury to quit. The FBI had seized almost $900,000 in her and her husband’s assets, and she and her family of five had to survive.

The beginning of the year often marks a time for resolutions and setting new goals, but we recently passed what's known as Quitter's Day, where many abandon their aspirations. Strava's research revealed that by the second Friday in January, around 80% of people have already veered off course from their New Year's resolutions.

Have you ever found yourself hesitant to set goals, perhaps because the journey seemed too hard or lacked joy? It's a common struggle. Goals can feel like burdens when they're perceived as too challenging or without happiness. But consider this: if you don't set goals, how do you propel yourself forward?

Setting and achieving goals is an integral part of our daily lives, from the moment we wake up to the tasks we accomplish. Amy Nelson, CEO of The Riveter, knows something about that as she was simultaneously running her start-up, a coworking spaces company focused on women, and raising her 4 children with her husband.

In April 2020, the FBI arrived at Amy’s residence in Seattle, armed and bearing news that her husband was the subject of a federal criminal investigation involving Amazon. In the aftermath, the FBI confiscated all their savings, forcing the couple to take drastic measures. To fund their legal defense, they liquidated their 401(k)s and sold both their house and Range Rover. Some of her angels and investors left her after the allegations became public. “But you know what?" she shared in an article in Entrepreneur, punctuating her statement with a determined shrug. "That's their loss. Because I'm a builder. I'm a creator. And I'm going to persist in this. Despite everything."

Now, Amy’s company is an app and platform where members can work in luxury hotels, boasting a vibrant membership. Having weathered rock bottom, she's becoming accustomed to challenges and has adapted. What is her most significant breakthrough?

Each morning, Amy compiles a list of just three to five tasks that must be accomplished.

Amy's story illustrates that even what may seem like basic life needs and tasks are, in fact, goals. And as a leader, setting goals not only propels you but influences your teams to do the same.

As you keep heading into the new year, consider looking at your tasks and making sure that they align with these "3 Quick Questions for Your Goals" :

Are my/our tasks and goals the right size?
Are the tasks and goals linked to your/our strongest desires?
Will the tasks and goals bring you/us more happiness and joy?

Vague expressions like "I'm hoping" and "I'm trying" lack specificity and won’t lead to success. During a recent team retreat, James shared a powerful realization — he left the retreat more connected with his goals than ever before. By dispelling dread and focusing on what he genuinely wanted, he found clarity, support, and the desire to take meaningful action, with the first set of action steps to match. Just like Amy did.

I encourage you to set or reset your goals, evaluating them against these quick questions. A resounding "yes" to these questions means that your goals are not only achievable but deeply meaningful. They promise growth, making your life and leadership journey immensely fulfilling. That’s the road to happiness – a life worth living.

Here's to you, a life worth living and a team worth leading.

The Gradual Symphony of Life: Lessons from Nick’s Success and Retirement

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 15 Jan 2024 19:33:38 GMT

" Everything grows slowly. And if you are able to take your eyes off them, they will grow even more. "

-- Michael Bassey Johnson

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The Gradual Symphony of Life: Lessons from Nick’s Success and Retirement

I was recently touched by the story about the last day leading up to Nick’s retirement. As I’ve studied the stories of leaders and their intricate lives, it was fascinating to dive into the compelling story sparked by Nick’s sudden retirement.

We’re talking about a living legend, Nick Saban, who just retired as the head coach for the Alabama Crimson Tide football team.

As soon as Saban retired, my friends and clients were asking all kinds of questions. "What happened?" "Why now?" and "Who's next?"

In Kennington Smith III's insightful piece in The Athletic, " Why did Nick Saban retire? ‘Age started to become an issue’: Inside his final hours at Alabama, " you’ll find a tale of subtle shifts, a nuanced evolution reminiscent of the entrepreneurial journey. Saban, a seasoned strategist, embraced a new tempo in 2023 — a little less testy, a touch more jovial, and significantly more reflective.

But let's rewind the clock to appreciate the gradual ascent that defined Nick's path to legendary status. His success wasn't an overnight spectacle but a testament to persistence, strategy, and continuous improvement, something he later referred to as “The Process.” Picture the early years, perhaps not marked by championships, but laden with lessons — each season a stepping stone.

During his tenure at Michigan State from 1995 to 1999, Saban faced challenges in the earlier years, with the team experiencing 4 seasons right around .500. In his first year at LSU, Saban’s started the season 3-3, struggling to find consistency and adapt to Saban's coaching style. Instead of making impulsive changes, Saban stuck to his principles and coaching philosophy.

The lessons we can learn for our work and our lives from Saban's long journey are profound — embrace the process, learn from each play, and allow success to unfold gradually. Ultimately, he led the LSU Tigers to victory in the 2003 National Championship and continued his success with Alabama, where he claimed national titles in 2009, 2011, 2012, 2015, and 2017.

Now, some might skim through Saban's retirement article and say, "Well, not much happened in his final hours." Yet, therein lies the essence — the absence of grand theatrics, the quiet culmination of a storied career. It's a critical reminder of how our stories as leaders, with all their grandeur, unfold — gradually, then suddenly.

In Saban's gradual retreat from the game, we witness the subtleties of a decision maturing like a fine wine. It's the accumulated moments, the nuanced changes, the evolution of a coaching giant navigating the crossroads of legacy and personal well-being.

So, here's a heartfelt tip of the hat to a living legend, Nick Saban. As he steps away from the gridiron, his journey imparts valuable lessons for us — an entrepreneurial playbook, if you will. In the grand theater of our work and our lives, the most significant shifts often happen in the quiet spaces between the cheers and the roars.

And as we tip that hat, enjoy the insights from the gradual symphony playing out in Saban's life right now. May we, as leaders, navigate our stories with the grace, wisdom, and quiet determination befitting a legend. There are enduring lessons for us that they leave behind.

Stay inspired,

J.P.

Navigating 2024: My 5 Bold Predictions for Small Businesses and Teams in 2024

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Thu, 04 Jan 2024 23:32:40 GMT

I hope you and yours are enjoying the holidays!

As I’m sure many of you did, I spent quite a bit of time with my family over the holidays. We’ve celebrated the joy of being together and our growing family. And unfortunately, we also gathered to support one of our family fight through a very difficult infection (and thank goodness, she's recovering).

That gave me some time to think about what’s ahead – a mix of forecasting and being ready for the unexpected. We're talking about charting a course while being open to the detours that life throws at us. So, I’m ready to share some predictions for the small business landscape in the coming year and some strategies you might consider. Buckle up because 2024 is set to be quite a ride for all you teamepreneurs…

#1 - The Rise of Hyper-Personalization. Team performance takes center stage in the era of hyper-personalization. Collaborative efforts between marketing, sales, and customer service teams will be crucial to really understanding your customers. By working together, your team can craft personalized experiences that leave a lasting impression on your clients, making each customer feel like a VIP.

#2 - Sustainability is Non-Negotiable. Embracing sustainability isn't just about going green; it's a collective effort that involves the entire team. From supply chain decisions to daily operations, how can every member of your team contribute to making eco-friendly choices? Small businesses with teams committed to sustainability will not only reduce their environmental impact but also build the right reputation as socially responsible people in the market.

#3 - The Remote Work Revolution Continues. In 2024, team performance is at the heart of the remote work revolution. Small businesses fostering a culture of collaboration and clear communication among remote teams will thrive. When your team embraces the flexibility of remote work while maintaining high levels of productivity, your business will evolve with the evolving definition of the workplace.

#4 - Tech Takeover in Customer Service. Behind the scenes, your tech-savvy team will be the backbone of the customer service revolution. Training your team to leverage AI-driven tools will enhance the efficiency of your customer support. By empowering your team with the right technology, you'll elevate customer service, creating a seamless blend of human touch and digital innovation.

#5 - The Expansion of Micro-Influencers. A team's marketing collaboration with local influencers and niche experts will define the success of small businesses in the expanding era of micro-influencers. The authenticity and engagement these influencers bring resonates with the people who are your natural clients and customers. By partnering strategically, your team can harness the power of micro-influencers to build genuine connections and elevate your business brand.

That’s what I’m watching and where I’m helping small business owners and leaders of teams focus their efforts in 2024. In the dynamic landscape of small business, team adaptability is key. Keep your eyes on your destination, be ready to pivot, and remember – change isn't the enemy. It's your co-pilot.

Here's to an innovative and prosperous 2024 for all you team leaders and those you lead, in business and life.

This ‘15-minute window’ keeps Ukrainians warm — and is a window to our better selves

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 14 Aug 2023 15:49:48 GMT

"Most people are mirrors, reflecting the moods and emotions of the times.

Few are windows, bringing light to bear on the dark corners where troubles fester.

The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows."

-- Sydney J. Harris

photo courtesy of Palinchak

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This ‘15-minute window’ keeps Ukrainians warm — and is a window to our better selves

Imagine war raging in the country around you. Imagine living in a bomb-damaged home. Imagine the emotions you’d feel not only trying to stay alive, but… to stay warm when your windows have been blown out.

“Part of Putin’s war is about trying to make people in Ukraine cold and miserable,” says Harry Blakiston Houston, a UK based engineer. “We’ve come up with a solution that makes a real difference.”

A window that takes 15 minutes to build is helping Ukrainians repair and insulate their bomb-damaged homes. Designed by Houston, from the University of Cambridge, England, the window uses ‘triple-glazed’ polyethylene to protect against the cold and costs around $15 per square meter.

This month, our Leadership Circle is talking about emotions — the disempowering and empowering emotions we all feel — and how action is one antidote to changing our emotions for the better.

If you’ve ever been cold — cold for much longer than is healthy — you know the impact it can have your your psyche.

“Individuals tend to feel less friendly and more anxious in the colder months,” says Kimberly Hershenson, licensed master social worker, on winter and its ill effects on our mental health. “Shorter days, chillier weather, disruption in schedules and financial stresses can all contribute in some form or another to this.”

Imagine what improving the warmth of your house and home would do to help your psyche. That was the goal for Houston, the founder of Insulate Ukraine — to keep people in the war-ravaged country warm. His design has now been used in liberated areas, following Russian retreats.

Emotions are an integral part of our human experience, shaping the way we see and interact with the world around us. Sometimes, the complexities of life can overwhelm us, causing negative emotions to take over. Houston’s innovation is a reminder to me of what we need to do to shift our emotions…

The path to empowering emotions is action. You don’t have to invent a window, — just understand your window of time. Here are 7 small actions can have a profound impact on your emotional well-being...

Practice Gratitude . Gratitude is a simple yet potent emotion that has the ability to shift our focus from what's lacking to what we have. Taking a few minutes each day to reflect on the things we're grateful for can help us cultivate a positive outlook. Whether it's the warmth of the sun or the support of a loved one, acknowledging these blessings can instantly boost our mood.

Engage in Acts of Kindness . Performing acts of kindness, no matter how small, can create a ripple effect of positivity. Holding the door for someone, offering a genuine compliment, or helping a coworker can create joy and satisfaction. Research has shown that acts of kindness can stimulate the release of oxytocin, often referred to as the "feel-good hormone."

Connect with Nature . Spending time in nature has a remarkable ability to soothe our minds and rejuvenate our spirits. A leisurely stroll in the park, a hike in the mountains, or simply sitting by a serene pool can help alleviate stress and boost feelings of contentment. Nature's beauty and tranquility can quickly shift our focus away from worries and towards the present moment.

Practice Mindfulness . Mindfulness involves being deliberately attentive to the present moment without judgment. Engaging in mindfulness exercises such as deep breathing and meditation can help us detach from negative emotions and reduce stress. By cultivating mindfulness, we become more attuned to our thoughts and feelings, enabling us to respond to them in a calmer and more composed manner.

Listen to Music . Music has an extraordinary ability to evoke emotions and alter our mood. Upbeat tunes can infuse us with energy and enthusiasm, while soothing melodies can provide comfort and relaxation. Creating playlists that resonate with our emotions and preferences can be a simple yet effective way to regulate our emotional state.

Practice Self-Care . Engaging in self-care activities is essential for maintaining emotional well-being. Taking a warm bath, reading a book, practicing yoga, or simply enjoying a cup of tea can help us recharge and nurture ourselves. When we prioritize self-care, we send a message to ourselves that our emotional health matters.

Express Creativity . Engaging in creative activities such as drawing, painting, writing, or playing a musical instrument can be incredibly cathartic. Creativity provides an outlet for self-expression, enabling us to process our emotions and gain insights into our feelings. These activities can also provide a sense of accomplishment, boosting our self-esteem.

Fedor Tikva, 64, living in Izyum, eastern Ukraine, said it had been impossible to live in his home after it was damaged by nearby bombing. “All windows there were broken, even the frames were partly damaged," Tivka said. “Before the installation...it was too dark and cold inside,” he said. “I am happy now because after the installation of all the windows the house became more cozy, warmer and lighter.”

We’re incredibly fortunate to live in a peaceful environment. And even in our relative peace, we all experience dark emotions. If a window that takes 15 minutes to build can help Ukrainians live a little better life, imagine how the power of simple actions — practices such as gratitude, kindness, nature connection, mindfulness, music, self-care, and creativity — might bring about positive changes in your emotions.

Our journey to empowered well-being begins with single, simple actions. Here’s to taking those simple actions with you.

Stepping into greatness...how do you sign Michael Jordan?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Sun, 30 Jul 2023 23:18:40 GMT

"We need you in these shoes, not so you have meaning in your life but so that we have meaning in ours."

- Sonny Vaccaro to Michael Jordan

p hoto courtesy of Lipofski Basketballphoto.com

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Tapping Your Inner Power

Yesterday, I watched “Air,” the story of how Sonny Vaccaro and Nike pursued Michael Jordan in 1984. It's a great movie -- and tells just a small part of Sonny's story.

Sonny grew up playing football, enrolling at Youngstown State. When an injury ended his career, Youngstown's head basketball coach, Dom Risselli, approached him for help. "He said, 'Maybe you can help me get some basketball players from Pittsburgh to come to Youngstown State," Vaccaro recalled.

Three words changed his life. “I think I can,” Sonny said.

This month, my Leadership Circle and I are focused this month on the concepts around building a strong inner self — how we save ourselves. When it comes to getting where we want to go, how do tap into our own power?

In looking at Sonny Vaccaro's life, we might see 5 essential steps to tapping our inner power…

Mindset Mastery. Our minds are our most powerful assets — so take control of your thoughts and beliefs. Shift negative self-talk with positive affirmations. Surround yourself with empowering people and immerse yourself in uplifting environments. We often become the average of the people we spend the most time with, so choose wisely.

“I think I can,” Sonny said. This words started to reveal a mindset that brimmed with innovation and a sense of opportunity. He surrounded himself with people like Rob Strasser, Nike’s marketing director who wanted the fledgling shoe company to break into basketball, and George Raveling, a longtime college basketball coach and assistant U.S. Olympic team coach — and on that Olympic team Raveling coached Michael Jordan.

Embrace Your Fears. Fear can be paralyzing, but it can also be a catalyst for growth. We need to confront our fears head-on, knowing discomfort is a sign of progress. Embracing fear allows you to expand your horizons, unlocking hidden reserves of power within you.

People around Sonny scoffed at the idea of Nike as a strong basketball brand, dismissing it as a fantasy. Sonny decided he was “all in.” He risked his job by asking Nike to go "all in" as well, and by pitching Jordan's mother, Deloris, and family more directly than Jordan himself — something generally not practiced by marketers at the time.

Set Compelling Goals. Without clear goals, we are like ships without a destination. Define what you want to achieve and set compelling goals that ignite your passion and drive. Break these goals down into actionable domino steps and take consistent action towards them. Smaller steps you achieve will reinforce your belief in your abilities and propel you towards your desired outcome.

Sonny envisioned a future where basketball talents could transcend the game and become cultural icons. He dreamed of connecting these prodigies with the right sponsors to elevate them to household names. He crafted a roadmap, breaking down his vision into smaller, manageable domino action steps. He began building relationships with key figures in the basketball community, and he founded the first national high school all-star game.

Sonny's dream ultimately arrived at one single goal — to sign the best basketball player of his time, none other than Michael Jordan.

Cultivate Resilience. Life is full of ups and downs, setbacks, and challenges. True power lies in our ability to bounce back. Reframe failures as learning opportunities. Failure is not final unless you allow it to be. It's just feedback on your journey to success.

Sonny and Nike signed Michael Jordan in 1984. Despite his pivotal role in Nike's expansion into basketball and the success of the Air Jordan line, he was fired in 1991 — just months after Jordan had won his first NBA Championship. What did he do? Sonny joined Adidas.

Take Action. Ideas without action are merely dreams. To tap into our inner power, we must take relentless action towards our goals. Embrace the philosophy of "CAN-I” – Constant and Never-Ending Improvement. Take consistent domino steps forward, even if they're small, and your inner power will grow.

In 1996, Sonny signed then-high school senior Kobe Bryant to Adidas. "Nobody else wanted Kobe [aside from Adidas]. Nike was not involved because he was a high school kid," Sonny said about Kobe.

We are capable of so much more than we can possibly imagine. We all possess within us an innate power that, when harnessed and directed, can really achieve. Here's the catch — it’s not easy to access this power. Life's challenges, doubts, and even the people around us can cloud our vision and keep us from tapping our inner power.

Sonny Vaccaro went on from his work at the shoe companies to make speeches at college campuses, condemning the NCAA for making millions off of college athletes, while not allowing them to receive any portion of the profits. He connected former UCLA basketball star Ed O'Bannon with antitrust lawyers, who teamed up to file a lawsuit against the NCAA in 2009. The landmark case changed the landscape of college sports. The NCAA was forced to agree to allow college athletes a "fundamental right" to their name, image and likeness (or NIL) and to receive compensation for NIL.

Tapping into your inner power is not a one-time event. It's a lifelong journey of self-discovery and growth. It requires commitment, dedication, and a burning desire for something more.

"Obviously, Michael Jordan and Nike gave me my professional start in life," Sonny said. "But on my tombstone, if something is written about me other than hopefully being a decent human being, I helped these kids get recognized.”

Here’s to recognizing Sonny Vaccaro’s incredible achievements, and in him some lessons on tapping our own inner power.

How do we break free from false saviors...

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Tue, 11 Jul 2023 12:33:18 GMT

"In the distant future, people may outlaw driving cars because it's too dangerous. You can't have a person driving a two-ton death machine."

-- Elon Musk

photo courtesy of Steve Jurvetson

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Breaking Free from False Saviors

You might know Mark Lemonis, who has made a mark on the business world with "The Profit," a reality TV show where he provided financial assistance and guidance to struggling businesses in an effort to make them profitable. You might know Elon Musk, the driver behind companies like Tesla and SpaceX, each of which has made groundbreaking advancements. Lemonis and Musk’s long-range vision has shifted not only how our world works but also how we think.

We can learn from people like Musk and Lemonis true visionaries, right?

As we look to grow, we often hear captivating stories about individuals who appear to hold the keys to success and innovation. These stories often showcase charismatic figures claiming extraordinary abilities to transform industries and lives.

Not all saviors live up to their larger-than-life image.

Lemonis was sued in 2021. “Marcus Lemonis is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and a false prophet who uses his fame and fortune to steal small businesses from everyday Americans,” said the complaint. The filing said that an 8 month investigation revealed that at least 51 companies that have appeared on the show suffered a similar “hellish nightmare” and pattern of humiliation, fraud, extortion and other charges. That said, an arbitrator in May dismissed one fraud and breach of contract claim, finding that the allegations were “unsupported by competent, credible evidence.”

Late last year, Elon Musk suspended and then reinstated the Twitter accounts of several journalists over a controversy on publishing public data about the billionaire's plane. The reinstatements came after the unprecedented suspensions evoked stinging criticism from government officials, advocacy groups and journalism organizations, with some saying the microblogging platform was jeopardizing press freedom. Today, one NY Times wrote that “under Elon Musk, the platform could be unreliable and unfiltered. Some users called it toxic.”

Like visionaries, “false saviors” have a special power. They promise breakthroughs and solutions to our most difficult challenges. They exude confidence and inspire hope, making us believe they possess unique insights and abilities that can revolutionize industries.

Even with visionaries, we must separate the vision and what what it really means for us. As we talked about last, you’re the only person that can save yourself.

This month, my Leadership Circle and I are focused this month on the concepts around build a strong inner self — how we save ourselves. When it comes to learning from and receiving help from others, how do we separate the vision of others from what we need in our lives, tapping into our own power?

Here are 3 essential steps to avoiding false hope and continuously building your inner self...

Unveil the Vision. Take time and critically evaluate claims and actions. False saviors may make grandiose promises or engage in sensationalist tactics to capture attention. Dig deeper and assess the veracity of their claims. Look for diverse perspectives that can help you.

Use Your Critical Eye. Question and analyze evidence. By honing your critical thinking skills, you can filter the noise and make informed decisions. A critical eye allows you to appreciate the accomplishments of remarkable individuals while acknowledging that no one person holds all the answers or possesses infallible wisdom. Use evidence-based decision-making.

Embrace Your Own Power. To guard against the allure of false saviors, embrace your own inner power. Leverage your own potential and engage in a continuous journey of personal growth and empowerment.

Not all visionaries are false saviors, and not all false saviors are visionaries. Successful people can captivate us with their charisma and claims. Mark Lemonis and Elon Musk have achieved remarkable success, but no one is exempt from scrutiny. By unveiling a vision, using your critical eye and embracing your own power, you can separate genuine vision from those who fall short.

Tap into your own capabilities. Chart your path to success, armed with wisdom and a critical mindset.

Declare your independence. Save yourself.

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Wed, 05 Jul 2023 12:12:12 GMT

"You cannot wait for someone to save you, to help you, to complete you. No one can complete you. You complete yourself."

-- Oprah Winfrey

photo courtesy of Lakshmiprasad S

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Declare your independence. Save yourself.

Change is coming. Change always has been coming and change always will be coming. From the Supreme Court’s recent decision on affirmative action to today’s celebration of Independence Day, what we’re facing in the world is always changing. Whether we’re talking about our Founding Fathers and what they faced or what we face today, I keep coming back to one thought.

You’re the only one that can save you.

The Founding Fathers didn't sit around, hoping that a hero would emerge to free them from British rule. No, they took matters into their own hands. They stood up, fought for their rights, and declared their independence. They understood that no one else would secure their freedom except themselves.

Affirmative action, designed to address historical disadvantages and promote diversity, has sparked debates and passion across the country. It’s a complex issue, as we strive to balance the ideas of meritocracy with the principles of correcting historical injustices. Some of these injustices date back to the very Founder Fathers themselves – like with the “Three-Fifths Compromise” reached among state delegates during the 1787 Constitutional Convention. It decided that three out of every five slaves would be counted when determining a state's total population for representation and taxation.

I was first asked my opinion “as a Latino” by a colleague of mine, Kent, about affirmative action a while ago. I shared with him that life isn’t fair, but that I thought everyone deserved a fair shake. The problem is that I don’t really know how we give everyone a fair shake. I don’t see that the swings of government can design our society to give everyone a fair shake. Which leads me to the same place…

You’re the only one that can save you.

In that spirit, this month my Leadership Circle and I are focused this month on 4 concepts around how we save ourselves…

Rise Above the False Savior Story. We’re all susceptible to the illusion that someone else holds the key to our success. We can't rely on external forces for salvation or wait for a hero to sweep in and fix everything for us. Whether it is waiting for a political leader, a supernatural entity, or advanced technology, the reality remains the same: we are the architects of our own destinies. The only person who can change our lives is ourselves. When we understand that we're in control, we free ourselves from the chains of dependency and take ownership of our destinies.

Ignite Your Inner Power. Deep down, we all have incredible power within us. We possess unique talents, skills, and strengths that can shape our lives and make a difference in the world. Instead of succumbing to helplessness or waiting for someone else to act, we must harness our inner power and take proactive steps towards our goals.

Tap Into the Power of Your Who. I'm a big believer in the power of collaboration. While we must recognize our individual abilities, we can achieve so much more when we come together as a community. While we have to save ourselves, no one can succeed alone. Surround yourself with like-minded individuals who support and uplift one another. Together, we can accomplish great things, tackle challenges head-on, and create a positive impact that reverberates far beyond our own lives. By collaborating, sharing knowledge and resources, and empowering one another, we multiply our chances of achieving greatness.

Embrace a Culture of Resilience. Life is full of ups and downs. It's how we respond to adversity that truly defines us. Rather than relying on the government, the Supreme Court, and external forces to save us from hardships, let's embrace resilience. When we develop the mindset to overcome obstacles, learn from failures, and adapt to change, we become unstoppable forces of nature. And success often comes after multiple failures — it's all about the bounce-back.

As we celebrate this special day, July 4th, I encourage you to take a moment and reflect on the significance it holds in our journey to save ourselves. On this day, we commemorate the spirit of independence and freedom — a reminder that we have the power to shape our own destinies.

Declare your independence from the limitations you see placed on yourself. Create the future you want.

You're going to be tired no matter what.

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Tue, 27 Jun 2023 17:08:09 GMT

"When your heart becomes tired, just walk with your legs -- but move on."

-- Paulo Coelho

photo courtesy of Arkady Vyrlan

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You're going to be tired no matter what.

Yesterday, Darren shared something he took away from our Leadership Circle retreat.

“You’re going to be tired, no matter what. But what are you going to be tired of? Are you going to be tired of not being where you want to be. Or are you going to tired because you got there?”

We started and ended our retreat by talking about the idea of being “all in.” The idea makes sense – when you fully commit yourself to a goal, you eliminate what’s unnecessary, focus on what you really want, and are more likely to hit your goal, right?

There isn’t really a “halfway in.” Just showing up and not doing much else is a false choice. When you do something halfway, you’re inefficient in what you do, you do incomplete work, and, as a result, you’re ineffective – or at least way less effective than you could be if you were “all in.” That's what I call the "3 I's of Halfway." You might as well just get out and focus your energy where it really matters.

7 years ago, my business partner for one of my teams left our business. It wasn’t an easy departure. I was on my way to one of our team’s meetings and I noticed a FedEx letter on my doorstep. It was a FedEx letter from his attorney saying that he no longer wanted to be in partnership, not to reach out to him since he’d be on vacation, and that the attorney would handle the dissolution of our partnership. It took my breathe away.

I was at a crossroads. We had achieved a certain level of success, but I knew deep down that our team had more to offer and more to accomplish. I had two choices – give up the business or take it to the next level. I made a commitment to myself to go “all in” and take it to the next level.

But what does it mean to be “all in”?

Focus and Clarity. In a world filled with distractions and noise, being "all in" gives you the advantage of focus and clarity. When you commit yourself entirely to a goal or project, you eliminate all those unnecessary distractions that pull you away from what truly matters. Your energy becomes laser-focused, allowing you to make better decisions, boost productivity, and allocate your time and resources wisely. With a crystal-clear vision, you’ve got a GPS for your journey to achieving your goals.

After that business break-up 7 years ago, I immersed myself in personal growth, devouring books, attending seminars, and seeking out coaches who could guide me on my journey. I went "all in" on my mission to make a positive impact on the lives of our clients, my teammates and all the people I care for. I invested countless hours honing my skills, refining my message, and connecting with people on a different level. Of course, I faced a bunch of challenges along the way, but my “all in” commitment fueled something that kept me pushing forward.

Perseverance and Resilience. Success is no walk in the park. It's a wild rollercoaster ride filled with unexpected twists and turns. But being "all in" empowers you to be resilient and persevere through it all. When you commit yourself wholeheartedly, setbacks become steppingstones to something greater. You develop a mindset that embraces challenges as opportunities for growth. You become determined to find solutions, learn from failures, and keep pushing forward until you reach your desired outcome. That unwavering commitment sets you apart.

As I leaned in with our business, I saw the incredible power of being "all in." The impact we were having was growing exponentially. We were helping more people, and our people were seeing great success, even when we had to push through adversity. By fully embracing being "all in," I was tapping into not only my own potential but something in others.

Trust and Credibility. I was seeing how commitment and reliability are the building blocks of trust and credibility. When you show the world that you're "all in" and fully committed to your work and relationships, you earn respect and trust from others. Whether it's your colleagues, clients, or partners, people gravitate towards those who have proven their unwavering dedication. Building trust and credibility opens doors to new opportunities and sets the stage for long-lasting success. It's a game-changer.

That team that 7 years ago was on the brink of collapse has now been recognized for the last several years as one of the country’s leading teams. That unwavering focus, resilience, determination, and a commitment to unleashing our potential helped us achieve remarkable things, both across our professional lives and in our personal ones.

Being “all in” isn’t easy. “You can be at the bottom of that mountain, never move and be tired,” Darren shared. “I’d rather be tired at the top, knowing I accomplished it.”

This summer, as you take a break and reflect on what’s ahead, I encourage you to think about and embrace the power of being "all in." Take some time to design the life that you really want and take those tough steps to create that life.

From touchdowns to transformation: One NFL player's journey might change your life

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 19 Jun 2023 16:57:34 GMT

"I’ll go conquer the fear and it’ll lead me to what I’m meant to be doing."

-- Joe Hawley

photo courtesy of Thomson200

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From touchdowns to transformation: One NFL player's journey might change your life

Summer usually marks a change in how we work. We might trade our office chairs for inflatable pool floats and or our laptops for sunscreen. Forget about spreadsheets and deadlines; the only spreadsheets some people care about now are the ones that lay on the sand.

Summer vacations are the ultimate rebellion against responsibility, where flip-flops become our formal footwear and ice cream trucks are our designated food courts. Is life better when we're covered in sand and sporting a slightly questionable sunburn? This summer, our Leadership Circle and my teams are talking about vacations and one related and critical concept…

We’re talking about the importance of taking time for a retreat.

We all need time for vacation — to rest and recover. We also need to retreat — to spend time evaluating where we are in life and resetting our goals. That’s where Joe Hawley's story comes in.

Joe Hawley played college football at the University of Nevada before being selected by the Atlanta Falcons in the fourth round of the 2010 NFL Draft. He spent the majority of his professional career with the Falcons, as a reliable and versatile offensive lineman. Hawley later had brief stints with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Seattle Seahawks.

Since retiring from the NFL in 2017, Hawley has shared his personal journey of self-discovery, mindfulness, and helping others. He’s become an advocate for mental health, emphasizing the importance of holistic well-being beyond sports.

By 30, Howley had torn both shoulder labrums. He was living with a bulging disc in his neck and painful bone spurs in both ankles. His physical pain was compounded by this mental pain, having broken up with his fiancée. He realized that the demanding and highly competitive nature of the NFL took a toll on players' physical, mental and emotional well-being. Seeking a way to find balance and reconnect with their authentic selves, he organizes retreats that allow athletes to step away from the pressures of their careers.

During Hawley’s retreats, athletes engage in activities such as mindfulness practices and group discussions. By creating a supportive and open environment, the retreats facilitate self-reflection and evaluation. Athletes have the opportunity to assess their goals, aspirations, and the impact of their careers on their overall happiness and fulfillment.

“We’re all really successful, high-achieving individuals who know how to push themselves and like all of a sudden in a moment, all of that’s gone,” Hawley says. “And it’s really hard, it’s really isolating. I think another thing that was challenging for me, personally, I think this is not talked about enough and I think a lot of guys go through this as well as the people closest to me like my parents, my family, my fiancé at the time — and so the feeling of not knowing who I am and the feeling of them not knowing who I am because I don’t even know who I am led me on this path of really trying to discover that for myself.”

Through Hawley’s retreat experience, these former athletes are able to reset their goals and redefine success on their own terms. They gain a deeper understanding of their purpose beyond sports and discover ways to integrate their athletic achievements with their personal growth. The retreats empower these athletes to shift their focus from the external validation of game day to internal fulfillment, helping them find a renewed sense of purpose and well-being.

As you ready yourself for vacation and the sun, you might consider spending a little time in retreat. Summer can be both a time to live a better life and design a better life. If you set aside a few hours for a retreat, you may find a catalyst for evaluation and goal resetting. By providing a dedicated time for reflection, you can assess where you are in your finances, with your family, with your feelings and with the other domains of your life, realign your aspirations, and set new goals that encompass your overall well-being and personal growth. Here are 5 seemingly simple yet powerful questions you might reflect on:

Who do I want to be in each area of my life?
How does what I do align with who I want to be?
How am I tracking how I’m doing as I become who I want to be?
What do I need to say “yes” to? What do I need to say “no” to?
Who can help me?

“If we can focus the energy they put into the sports into themselves and their self-growth, really, magic can happen,” Hawley says of why he organizes his retreats.

Whether you're an athlete, professional, or just someone looking to grow, I hope you enjoy all your Summer and sun and vacation. I also hope you will focus some of that energy into a retreat, taking the right time to step back, reflect, and revise your roadmap for your future.

Because it’s not just during summer but in all parts of our lives that the magic happens.

Going beyond social: how can we really connect?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 05 Jun 2023 12:11:56 GMT

"Connection is why we're here: it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives."

-- Brene Brown

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Going beyond social: how can we really connect?

I have a love-hate relationship with social media. I love that I can check-in and see how friends and family are doing in an instant. And I hate how blurry picture it is. One study I read recently says that only 19% of women and 18% of men reported that their social media displays “a completely accurate reflection” of who they really are.

This month, my Leadership Circle is talking about what I call the “3 C’s of Success” – competence, confidence and connectivity. These interconnected qualities form a powerful triad that propels you toward what you want in your life. Whether you want to excel in your career, build meaningful relationships, or tackle new challenges, nurturing your competence, confidence, and connectivity will pave the way for you to succeed.

We’ve talked these last few weeks about competence and confidence – from continuously learning, adapting and reinventing ourselves to achieving our goals and embracing our failures. Connectivity builds on these. In a world where our connections and interactions are becoming more superficial and digital, it’s more important than ever to build real connections with others.

As I look back on my life and study the lives of my successful and happy friends and clients, I’ve recognized 3 practices that allow us to really connect and build meaningful relationships.

Embrace Your Authentic Self. Authenticity is the key to unlocking genuine connections. We’re often pressured to conform and fit into predefined molds, leaving little room for individuality. I’ve learned that embracing our true selves and staying true to our values and beliefs allows us to attract people like us and form deeper connections. By letting go of the fear of judgment and people's expectations, you can create a safe space for others to do the same.

Extend a Helping Hand. One of the most beautiful ways to nurture our connections is by helping others. Acts of kindness and selflessness have the power to bring people together, transcending boundaries and differences. When you offer your help without expecting anything in return, you not only make a positive impact on someone's life but also establish a deep bond rooted in empathy and caring.

Pay attention. In a world filled with distractions and constant noise, paying attention is a challenge. And when we genuinely listen to others, we show them that they matter and that their thoughts and feelings are truly heard. By giving your undivided attention, you can create space for meaningful conversations and start to connect more deeply.

Embracing your authentic self, extending a helping hand, and paying attention are transformative practices that enable us to forge deep and meaningful connections with others. Sounds good…but how do we do it?

To be authentic, work to be consistently honest and vulnerable. When you’re genuine and real, it gives others permission to be their authentic selves as well. You can help others in many ways, from offering a listening ear to volunteering in the community or supporting a charitable cause. Paying attention goes beyond just hearing words. Be present, ask questions and tune into non-verbal cues, emotions, and subtleties.

By being true to yourself, by helping others, and by paying attention, you will find “your people.” You’ll create strong and loving bonds. You’ll understand more about others, and you’ll be able to be more empathetic.

We all need connection. What we have to remember is that we do have the power to truly connect by creating an environment that really nurtures meaningful relationships. By being ourselves, helping others, and paying attention, we live lives worth living and in communities where genuine connections live.

That will bring us closer to what’s really important – being around people with whom we’re truly happy.

Jared's actions are a story of confidence against tough odds...

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 29 May 2023 15:10:45 GMT

"Jared did something no amount of training can instill. His patrol leader said he'd go, but Jared said, ‘No, he is my soldier. I'm going to get him.'"

-- President Barak Obama

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Jared's actions are a story of confidence against tough odds...

Jared was born in Abington, Massachusetts and was always an adventurous boy. As a four-year-old, he disappeared from the backyard one day, and his mother found him later hanging by the hood of his sweatshirt on the other side of the stockade fence.

Jared was a goal-setter, and he knew that failure was a part of achieving goals. Cut from the high school basketball team not once but twice, he finally made the varsity team and outscored some of the team’s top players. He was fascinated by the military, and when he was told he was too young to enlist, he joined the National Guard's delayed entry program as a high school junior. That summer, while his friends were at the beach, Jared was doing drills.

By the time he was 30, Jared was a Sergeant First Class and was starting his second rotation into Afghanistan. For his acts of bravery in Afghanistan, Jared Monti was posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor.

This Memorial Day weekend, as we honor those who made the ultimate sacrifice so we can enjoy our freedoms, I’ve found Jared’s story incredibly inspiring – and a story of confidence. Confidence plays a crucial role in achieving success, both in our professional lives and in our personal lives. It is our belief in our abilities and that allows us to take risks, overcome obstacles, and persevere. While some people seem naturally confident, confidence is really a skill that we can develop and nurture over time.

Command Sgt. Maj. Delbert Byers, 197th Infantry Brigade, fought alongside Jared on the day of actions that led to his award and his sacrifice. Sgt. Byers recalled not only Jared's heroic efforts, but also his confidence. “His love of soldiers, ability to train and pass on his mastery of skills, and his understanding of maneuver, made him the finest forward observer, soldier and leader I have ever known," said Byers.

This month, my Leadership Circle is talking about what I call the “3 C’s of Success” – competence, confidence and connectivity. These interconnected qualities form a powerful triad that propels people toward success. Whether you want to excel in your career, build meaningful relationships, or tackle new challenges, nurturing your competence, confidence, and connectivity will pave the way for you to succeed.

So how can you build confidence? Last week we talked about how a commitment to education, continuously learning, and adapting and reinventing ourselves builds competence. Confidence builds on that…

1. Set and Achieve Goals: Goal setting is an integral part of building confidence. We’ve talked about setting SMART goals that align with what you want. Break them down into smaller, “domino” steps and execute. Celebrate your achievements and acknowledge your hard work. Each success fuels your confidence, providing evidence of your capabilities and reinforcing your belief in your ability to succeed.

On his day of action, Monti was leading a mission aimed at gathering intelligence and directing fire against the enemy. His 16-man patrol was attacked by as many as 50 enemy fighters. On the verge of being overrun, Monti quickly directed his men to set up a defensive position behind a rock formation. He called for indirect fire support, accurately targeting the rounds on the enemy who had closed to within 50 meters of his position. While still directing fire, he engaged the enemy with his rifle and a grenade, successfully disrupting an attempt to flank his patrol.

2. Embrace Failure as Growth: Setbacks or failures can challenge your confidence. Embrace these experiences as opportunities for growth and personal shortcomings. Learn from your mistakes, adapt your approach, and persevere. By reframing failure as a natural part of the learning process, you develop resilience and bounce back stronger. This resilience bolsters your confidence, as you realize that setbacks do not define your worth or future success.

During the engagement, Monti realized one of his men was wounded and in open ground between the advancing enemy and the patrol's position. With complete disregard for his own safety, Monti attempted to move from behind the cover of rocks into enemy fire twice to rescue his fellow soldiers. Determined not to leave him behind, Monti made a third attempt to cross open terrain through intense enemy fire. On his final attempt he was mortally wounded, sacrificing his own life to save his patrol.

3. Practice Positive Self-Talk: The way you talk to yourself significantly impacts your confidence. Cultivate a positive internal dialogue by practicing self-compassion and reframing negative thoughts. Replace self-doubt with affirmations that reinforce your strengths and potential. Build strong connections with people who will support you and will encourage your confidence.

Paul Monti, Jared’s father, said his son was an extremely humble person who never gave up. Jared’s resolve to do the right thing had a lasting impact on the hearts of those he touched. “He always had it in his mind that he had to do the right thing,” Paul Monti said of his son. “And the right thing at that time was to help to save his fellow soldiers.”

Our Leadership Circle is about setting goals, embracing failure, and expressing our belief in each other. If you’re looking to build your confidence, find a group that focuses on growth and support.

Building confidence is an ongoing process. Set goals. Embrace failure. Engage in positive self-talk. Like competence, the path toward confidence doesn’t have an ultimate destination. It is a continuing journey. Embrace the challenges, celebrate your achievements, and keep challenging yourself.

Paul Monti says “You don’t have to try to be a hero, ever. All you need to do is to always try your hardest and to always do the right thing and let that guide you in life as it guided my son.”

What are your next steps toward growing your confidence? I’d love to hear from you.

What can this Cuban and Coca-Cola teach us about success?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 22 May 2023 20:30:28 GMT

“If you think you are going to be successful running your business in the next ten years the way you did in the last ten years, you’re out of your mind. To succeed, you have to disturb the present.”

-- Roberto

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What can this Cuban and Coca-Cola teach us about success?

Roberto was born in Havana, Cuba in 1931. He grew up in a close-knit family amid the vibrant culture of the island. His parents instilled in him strong values of hard work, determination, and perseverance.

Roberto’s early years were marked by both the joys of childhood and the challenges brought on by political unrest as a young man. His family’s peaceful life was disrupted by the political climate in Cuba, forcing them to make a difficult decision.

Roberto was working for a Coca-Cola subsidiary in Cuba when Fidel Castro seized power in 1959. The Castro government seized land and private businesses. Two months before Castro seized control of Coca-Cola’s Cuban operations, Roberto, his wife, Olguita, and their three children fled the country, arriving in Miami with $40 and 100 shares of Coca-Cola stock. The sudden displacement created immense challenges for the young Roberto and his family.

As refugees, Roberto and his family had to rebuild. He had earned his bachelor's degree in chemical engineering at Yale – he doubled down and earned a master's degree in engineering from the University of Miami.

Roberto Goizueta eventually became the CEO of The Coca-Cola Company.

This month, my Leadership Circle is talking about what I call the “3 C’s of Success” – competence, confidence and connectivity. These interconnected qualities form a powerful triad that propels people toward success. Whether you want to excel in your career, build meaningful relationships, or tackle new challenges, nurturing your competence, confidence, and connectivity will pave the way for you to succeed.

In Cuba, Roberto had developed some special habits, but no special knowledge. He had to build his competence. How did he do that?

Roberto started by identifying what he needed to learn. “I didn’t know enough English to get into college in the United States.” Roberto taught himself English. He prioritized his education and pursued a degree in chemical engineering. He developed a strong foundation of technical knowledge and problem-solving skills.

His approach to competence didn’t stop there. “I consider my biggest task not to get ahead of others but to surpass myself, and to make the ideal in my mind become a reality in my everyday life of work.” How did he do that?

Roberto was committed to continuously learning. According to Goizueta biographer David Greising, “As soon he became president, Goizueta began a detailed study of every aspect of Coke’s business. Although proud and confident in his abilities, Goizueta had enough self-confidence to admit his limitations. He even exposed his lack of knowledge to subordinates by asking dozens of questions ranging from simple queries about market size to complex calculations of rates of return and the present value of invested capital.” He realized that the path toward competence didn’t have an ultimate destination. It was a continuing journey.

Finally, Roberto understood the need to adapt to a changing world and reinvent what his company did. He said that the world we live in is constantly changing. “If we don’t change with the times, if we aren’t reinventing ourselves every few years, we will become stagnant. And when that happens, growth, profitability and pride gradually erode,” he said. Goizueta, facing the increased competition from Pepsi and changing consumer preferences, risked the enormously successful, long-established bedrock of a company to create New Coke, which quickly failed. But he also led his teams to develop Diet Coke, which has been phenomenally successful and is still among the top 3 carbonated soft drinks in the United States today.

As you evaluate where you are against where you want to be, you might consider these questions about competence…

What do you and your teams need to learn right now to be more successful?
How can you build or strengthen a habit of continuous learning for yourself and your teams?
How will you and your teams need to adapt and reinvent yourselves?

Roberto’s competence was a long journey of ongoing self-evaluation, self-improvement, and adaptability. His commitment to education, continuously learning, and adapting and reinventing himself and Coca-Cola played a vital role in his success. Under his leadership, the market value of Coca-Cola stock rose from $4 billion in 1981 to $145 billion in 1997.

What are your next steps toward growing your competence? I’d love to hear from you.

Entrepreneur to Icon: 3 Things Tory Can Teach Us

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 15 May 2023 12:17:03 GMT

“The world will say 'no' to you in a 100 different ways.

Your job is to keep saying 'yes' to yourself.”

-- Tory

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Entrepreneur to Icon: 3 Things Tory Can Teach Us

In the dynamic and often unforgiving city of New York, Tory's journey to success wasn’t a straight line. But it was a testament to the strategic thinking, determination, and sense of what people wanted that she developed over time. Tory shared that it all started with a piece of advice her grandmother gave her when she was young. “You never learn anything with your mouth open.”

She started as a writer, advertising specialist and in public relations before she decided to try building a brand. She began designing clothes in her kitchen. As she built her brand, Tory recognized the importance of competence in her industry. She immersed herself in market research, studying consumer trends, and understanding the needs and desires of her target audience. She wanted to create collections that resonated with women seeking stylish, versatile, and empowering fashion.

Tory was a trailblazer in the world of fashion and today her company is valued at over $1B. Her eponymous brand, Tory Burch, became a global sensation.

This month, my Leadership Circle is talking about what I call the “ 3 C’s of Success ” – competence, confidence and connectivity. These interconnected qualities form a powerful triad that propels people toward success. Whether you want to excel in your career, build meaningful relationships, or tackle new challenges, nurturing your competence, confidence, and connectivity will pave the way for you to succeed.

Tory's success wasn’t just based on her keen fashion competence. She developed an unyielding confidence in her ability to build a successful business. She embraced calculated risks, making bold decisions that propelled her brand forward.

She previously told CNBC that she got her “fair share of patronizing pats on the back” when she was first starting out. “I remember when I was meeting with potential investors — all of whom were men, by the way — I presented my business model, which had our foundation built into it,” she recalled. “Purpose-led business was unheard of then, and it was dismissed as ‘charity work’. They only made me more determined.”

Tory also understood the power of connectivity in the business world. She nurtured relationships with key industry influencers, forming partnerships and collaborations that expanded her brand's reach and credibility. In 2005, Burch's business exploded after Oprah endorsed her. The TV star, a fan of Burch's work, called her "the next big thing in fashion." But we’ll before celebrity endorsements, she’s recognized the importance of connecting with customers.

"It's important to connect with your customer base. We have a real dialogue with our customers, and we learn so much from them." Tory believes in the value of open communication and listening to the needs and feedback of customers. She recognizes that through meaningful conversations with customers, businesses can gain valuable insights and improve their products and services. "You have to make your customers feel like they're part of something special. It's about creating an emotional connection and making them feel appreciated."

On Twitter, Tory herself is actually responsible for tweeting. "We think of it as the new focus group for today," chief marketing officer Miki Berardelli said. Similarly, Instagram "is Tory's lens," offering photos of family and friends, Berardelli said. Tory understands that customers seek more than just a transactional experience. By making customers feel valued and creating a sense of exclusivity and belonging, she is forging deep emotional connections with her customers, resulting in long-term loyalty.

As you evaluate where you are against where you want to be, consider these questions…

How are you building your core competence?
How are you showcasing your confidence — your mastery?
How are you connecting with your clients and customers?

Tory Burch’s competence, confidence, and connectivity are key pillars of her triumph. Tory's journey serves as a powerful reminder that in business, competence is the foundation, confidence drives innovation and growth, and connectivity opens doors to collaboration, learning, and endless opportunities. Her success is wrapped in embracing these qualities. With the 3 C’s, we can overcome challenges, build thriving teams, and make a lasting impact on our industries and communities.

This month, we’ll focus on your 3 C’s. What are your next steps toward growing your competence, believing in your work, and creating meaningful connections? I’d love to hear from you.

What Jerry Springer can teach us about winning...

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 01 May 2023 18:55:39 GMT

“We’re all like the people on the show – the difference is that some of us speak better or were born richer. There’s nothing that happens on my show that rich people don’t experience.”

-- Jerry Springer

Photo courtesy of Justin Hoch photographing for Hudson Union Society

___________________________

What Jerry Springer can teach us about evaluation and winning.

Jerry Springer died this week. And if we want to understand how we can win in our lives, we can learn a lot from Springer’s success.

Learn from his success? Absolutely. Springer earned a law degree from Northwestern University and served as a councilman and later mayor of Cincinnati, Ohio in the 1970s. He entered television in the 1980s, serving as a news anchor and commentator. In 1995, Springer married his second wife, Nancy Campbell, and the couple had one daughter, Charlotte. They were married for over 25 years.

You probably know Springer best as the host of "The Jerry Springer Show," a controversial talk show that aired for over 25 years. The show featured guests with outrageous stories that often led to physical fights and verbal arguments on stage.

Why the outrageous stories? Jerry Spring was keen at evaluating what he was doing compared to what his clients and customers — his audiences — wanted.

This month, my Leadership Circle is talking about intention and execution. If planning and execution are the first two critical steps in successful execution, evaluation is the final crucial step. Without evaluation, you don’t know if your plan is effective, whether your goals are being met, and whether changes are needed. Above all, that includes how effective you are at understanding what your clients want and giving them what they want.

Springer started “The Jerry Springer Show” as a political talk show. Guests on Springer’s show included community leaders, activists, and politicians. The show was a forum to discuss and debate various issues, ranging from education and healthcare to crime and economic development. Guests included commentators like Oliver North and Jesse Jackson.

Then the show changed. The show started to focus more on sensational and controversial topics that were less about politics. Episodes included "Secret Mistresses Confronted,” featuring women confronting their partner's secret mistresses on stage, "I Married a Horse,“ featuring a man who claimed to have married a horse, and "Klan Unmasked,” with members of the Ku Klux Klan discussing their beliefs and practices on stage.

Why the change? That’s what Springer found audiences wanted. Springer himself described the show as "guilty pleasure" entertainment and an escape from the mundane realities of everyday life. Rather than focusing on serious social issues or in-depth analysis, "The Jerry Springer Show" became all about entertainment, and Springer evaluated potential topics accordingly. The show often dealt with taboo subjects such as infidelity, love triangles, and unconventional relationships, all presented in a highly sensationalized and exaggerated way. The show included brawls, chairs became weapons — and the audience cheered and chanted Jerry’s name. America was hooked.

While the show struggled to find an audience and was nearly cancelled in the early years, Springer’s ongoing evaluation and changes were critical to his success. At its peak, "The Jerry Springer Show" had an estimated 6.7 million viewers per episode and was broadcast in over 20 countries around the world, rivaling the “Oprah” show. It remained profitable until the show ended in 2018. Whether we’re talking about his family life or his business life, he was successful by any measure.

Beyond a change from the mundane to the sensational, Springer was constantly evaluating and reinventing his show. As Megan Garber wrote in “The Atlantic,” he recognized that even shock can grow stale. “Springer had to keep finding new ways to outdo the drama on his show,” Garber noted. “He began arriving onstage by sliding down a stripper pole. When real people’s stories seemed insufficiently titillating, he brought on a character — the drunken ‘Reverend Shnorr’ — to punch things up.”

How are you evaluating what you are doing, whether in your personal life or in your business? Here are 5 questions you might think about:

What worked well? When you know what works well, you can build on it.
What could we have done differently? This question is the key to creating new, more successful plans.
What were the biggest challenges? When you identify obstacles, you can develop strategies to overcome them.
What did we learn? This question helps you reflect both on what happened in the past and what the future could look like.

Jerry Springer's “Final Thought” was a segment at the end of each episode where he would share his personal views on the topic discussed during the show. Often with a humorous or tongue-in-cheek delivery, he would encourage guests and viewers to consider different perspectives and to be open-minded and tolerant of others, even if they disagreed with them. His “Final Thought” always ended with Springer saying, “Take care of yourself, and each other.”

Whether about the show or in our sometimes chaotic and ever-changing world, I think Springer’s final life thoughts for us would be to evaluate where we are with an open mind and be willing to learn from our successes and failures. Rather than be defensive or closed off to change, he would likely encourage us to be open to new ideas and perspectives and to use the evaluation process as an opportunity to grow and improve.

Isn’t that a sensational thought?

Execution: What can we learn from Les Brown?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Tue, 25 Apr 2023 13:49:20 GMT

“Do whatever it takes. It always seems impossible until it's done.”

-- Les Brown

Photos courtesy of Dominick Brady

______________________

Execution: What can we learn from Les Brown?

Do you ever find yourself stuck in a cycle of planning and preparation — at work or in life — without ever actually taking action? Do you struggle to achieve your goals, despite your best intentions?

You're not alone. When my coaching members talk about where most of their time is spent, it’s in planning. That's a big part of what holds us back. We struggle with execution and taking action — the follow-through on our plans.

One big thing we think that keeps us from acting is a lack of resources — time, money, or energy. How do we find those resources?

Let’s talk money. A recent survey of Black women business owners revealed that 95% use personal finances to start their companies and only 13% had access to outside capital. Black women business owners are rejected for funding at 3x the rate of White business owners, and they secured just 2% of venture capital funding in 2022. Latino business owners fared a little better with bank loans under $50,000, but were substantially less likely to have larger loans approved. Latino business owners fared worse with VCs and private equity, with less than 1% of funds landing in the hands of Latino entrepreneurs.

And yet, the survey reports that 41% of Black women entrepreneurs have been in business for 10+ years, most respondents reported gross annual sales over $250,000, and more than 34% earned over $1 million. And Latinos are starting businesses faster than the rest of the start-up population, have 9% faster revenue growth and 22% faster earnings growth than non-Latino-owned start-ups. That’s great execution. What can we learn from them about execution?

This month, my Leadership Circle is talking about intention and execution. Execution is not about resources. It’s about resourcefulness . And you can strengthen your resourcefulness by learning to start with the first domino.

Motivational speaker Les Brown knows something about that. He was born in Liberty City, a low-income section of Miami, and was adopted by Mamie Brown, a 38-year-old single woman who worked as a cafeteria attendant and domestic assistant. He was declared "educable mentally retarded" in grade school.

Brown’s dominos took him from the DJ booth to PBS, to the Ohio legislature and to his own company. He has received the National Speakers Association coveted Council of Peers Award of Excellence (CPAE), and ultimately, its most prestigious Golden Gavel Award for achievement and leadership in communication.

Les Brown once said, "You don't have to be great to get started, but you have to get started to be great." Getting started is about taking the first step. It's easy to feel like we're not ready or able to take action yet. But the truth is, the only way to truly achieve our goals is to take that first step, even if it's a small one. That’s what these successful Black and Latino entrepreneurs are doing. That’s what Les Brown is doing.

That step is what I call taking a domino action.

When I started one of my businesses — a fitness center — in 1997, I didn’t have much money for equipment and no history of leasing commercial space. I took the first domino action and applied for a loan with about 2 dozen banks. I was rejected by every single bank. So I took other domino actions. I asked my clients for advice. One recommended a business attorney who sat on the board of a bank, and that relationship helped me get 50% of what I needed. I scraped together the other 50% from savings and a small loan from my father. Another client was a commercial agent who had a relationship with the owner of a medical building. That led to my first lease of a commercial space for the fitness center.

You don't have to have all the answers or take perfect action when you get started and take your first domino action. It's okay to make mistakes and learn as you go. The key is to take action, even if it's imperfect action. Start with a small domino action and build execution momentum. Push through the setbacks and celebrate each small win, using it as fuel to keep moving forward.

To overcome the obstacles on the way to your goal, identify one or more domino solutions.

Can you say "no" to something that will help you say "yes" to something you want?
Can you delegate tasks to someone else?
Can you find ways to save time or money?
Can you reach out to others for help or support?

Remember that there are always multiple paths to achieve your goals. Planning matters, but nothing happens without execution.

What’s one domino action you can take right now to get closer to one of your goals? Often, taking the smallest next step is the key to building momentum. I’d love to hear what step you decide to take…I’m just an email away.

Are you failing to plan, or failing the process? Nick Saban knows.

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 17 Apr 2023 19:10:02 GMT

“Focus on the process of what it takes to be successful.”

-- Nick Saban

Photos courtesy Carol M Highsmith and the U.S. Library of Congress

_______________________________

Are you failing to plan, or failing the process? Nick Saban knows.

If we fail to plan, are we planning to fail? Or is it not following through on our plans that causes us to fail? Or is it having the wrong plan to begin with?

Nick Saban, the head coach of the Alabama Crimson Tide football team, has won eight SEC Championships and seven national championships. He knows something about both planning and following through.

He was put to a big test during the 2017-2018 football season when his team faced the Georgia Bulldogs in the College Football National Championship game. In that game, the Alabama Crimson Tide found themselves down 13-0 at halftime. Things weren’t looking good.

Saban didn't panic. He reminded his team of the process they had been working on all season and urged them to focus on executing their game plan one play at a time.

Nick Saban's "the process" is a coaching philosophy that emphasizes a focus on the small, incremental steps that lead to success. In my Leadership Circle this month, I broke “the process” down into 3 steps – planning, execution, and evaluation.

When our group talked about where most of our time was spent, it was in in planning. That's a big part of what holds us back.

Saban believes in a larger process. It starts by breaking down the game into its smallest parts and emphasizing the importance of each play, so his team will be better prepared to achieve their ultimate goal. That’s planning. But he also encourages his players to stay focused on executing each play to the best of their ability, without worrying about the outcome of the game or the score. That’s execution. And based on what he sees, he analyzes what’s happening and revises his plan. That’s evaluation.

Saban made some key adjustments at halftime, and freshman quarterback Tua Tagovailoa entered the game to replace starting quarterback Jalen Hurts. Tagovailoa immediately sparked Alabama's offense, throwing a 6-yard touchdown pass to Henry Ruggs III. Georgia responded with a field goal, but Alabama answered with another touchdown to make the score 20-14. With just over three minutes remaining in the game, Tagovailoa led Alabama on a game-tying drive and a 7-yard touchdown pass to Jerry Jeudy.

Is Saban’s “the process” real? Or does he just recruit better players than other schools? Recent studies have found that process goals are more effective than outcome goals when it comes to enhancing performance, improving self-efficacy, and increasing overall success in pursing goals. Process goals focus go beyond the “what” to the "how" – how you go about attaining a result rather than focusing solely on the result.

Saban’s Crimson Tide and the Georgia Bulldogs went into overtime. Georgia drove the ball down to the Alabama 27-yard line, setting up a 51-yard field goal attempt for kicker Rodrigo Blankenship. It sailed wide left, giving Alabama the ball with a chance to win the game.

Alabama's offense took the field and quickly found itself in a 2nd-and-26 situation after a sack and a penalty. Tagovailoa dropped back to pass and launched a deep ball down the left sideline to DeVonta Smith, who had beaten his defender and was streaking towards the end zone. Smith caught the ball in stride and ran into the end zone for a 41-yard touchdown, giving Alabama a dramatic 26-23 victory.

How can you get more wins and reach your goals? If an effective process includes planning, execution, and evaluation, how much time are you spending in each? You might draw a pie chart for yourself, following what I call our “Intention & Execution Tracker”:

Saban’s 2017-2018 Crimson Tide team mounted what was called an "improbable" comeback to beat their arch-rivals from the University of Georgia 26-23 in overtime, clinching their fifth national championship under Saban. But was it really improbable?

If you commit to the entire process – spending roughly equal time in planning, executing, and evaluating what you do – I bet you too will reach more goals and win more championships.

Spring Cleaning the Home is Easy. How about Spring Cleaning Your Life?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 10 Apr 2023 13:36:05 GMT

“From the moment you start tidying,

you will be compelled to reset your life.”

-- Marie Kondo

Photos courtesy Dreamstime

_____________________________

I have a good friend who is religious about her Spring cleaning. “It’s all about throwing out the old stuff and the stuff I never use,” she says.

I like to think of Spring cleaning as some of that, and also as one part of something larger. Let’s call it a Spring reset.

Resetting and recommitting to your goals can be a big step towards achieving your goals and living the life you really want. I’ve shared with you in the past the multi-faceted approach my Leadership Circle and I use, like identifying your W.H.Y., finding your “One Thing,” and setting S.M.A.R.T. goals.

Are these just fancy ideas? Studies at the Wharton School have shown what they call the “fresh start effect” is particularly strong at times like the start of Spring. In one experiment, fresh start framing nudged people to increase their savings. Specifically, the researchers found that linking an opportunity to save money to a fresh start date (e.g., the first day of Spring, an upcoming birthday) led people to save 20 to 30 percent more than the other groups.

Why not make an upcoming day in April your reset and fresh start date? As you prep for your fresh start, you might think about your “One Thing” – the goal or activity that will have the greatest impact on your life over the next 90 days – in each of what Kevin Ward calls the 7 Domains of your life. Family/Friends, Finances, Faith, Fun, Fitness, Feelings, and Focus. Ask yourself what activities or goals would have the biggest impact in each Domain of your life and bring you the most joy and fulfillment.

Then check yourself. Ask yourself why each of your One Thing goals are important to you. Understanding your why behind each goal will help you stay motivated and focused on your goals. What may be even more important is if you discover in checking yourself that one or more of your One Thing goals aren’t really that important, so that you can find something else that really is important.

Last month I spent a lot of time thinking about, researching, studying, practicing, and coaching on relationships. I was especially focused on how we grow great relationships. It’s not something we get a lot of training on in our lives — except when things go very wrong. This Spring, I’ll be particularly focused on the practice of growing great relationships at work and at home. It’s my One Thing in both my Family/Friends and Finances Domains. I’ll measure it by journaling about how I’m doing and asking the key people in my life how I’m doing. Maybe you’ll help me by letting me know how I’m doing. :)

Why is growing great relationships important to me? Because I really want the extraordinary in these parts of my life.

Of course, recommitting to your goals is a process, not a one-time event or a 90 day run. While a fresh start is important, and while 90 days can build healthy habits, they aren’t the last steps. We’ll dive more into that this month.

Wherever you are this Spring, I hope you’ll think about what your fresh start looks like. Embrace the new season and take the time to recommit to what you really want. If there’s anything I can do to help, I’d love to hear from you.

What's the Secret to an Everlasting Relationship?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Sun, 19 Mar 2023 17:02:40 GMT

“I can marry my dreams.”

-- Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter

Photos courtesy of J.ebey

________________________________

What's the secret to an everlasting relationship?

I love Spring. If you’re anything like me, everything in the Earth seems to start waking up in Spring. In Spring, our world starts to grow again.

How would happen if Spring was a time that we started to wake up and grow our relationships?

As a society, we don’t have a great track record in relationships. While there is no consolidated data on how many business partnerships fail within their first year, the figure ranges anywhere between 50% and 80%. A recent meta-analysis of 32 studies in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships sheds light on personal relationships — the authors of the new research noted that approximately “40% of marriages end in divorce.” Those are both high failure rates.

Why do relationships fail? And how can we grow great relationships? The journal authors shared what became clear in the meta-analysis.

Couples with unified goals had the most satisfying relationships, while those with conflicting goals demonstrate the least satisfaction. Never mind those of us that don’t have clear relationship goals.

This month my Leadership Circle and I are diving into what I call a framework for an “EVERlasting Relationship”…

E - Empowered with a

V - Vision equals an

E - Everlasting

R - Relationship

Inspired by David Emerald’s “The Empowerment Dynamic,” we’re exploring the role that vision, accountability and training play in growing great relationships — and the consequences of lacking or losing them.

I’m no stranger to those consequences. Those of you that know me know that I’ve been through divorce and I’ve been through failed business partnerships. I’ve also had winning business partnerships and I’ve now been studying people who have great relationships for the last 2 years. What I’ve learned is that the same things that led to my failed marriages were the same things that happened when I failed in business partnership. When we failed, we didn’t really spend the time thinking about what we really wanted — we didn’t have a shared vision. When I failed, we weren’t really accountable to each other for pushing through the tough times and growing the vision we wanted. And when we failed, we didn’t keep learning and growing on how to have a great relationship.

“We have been together since I was 20 years old,” says singer, songwriter, businesswoman and activist Beyonce about her 20 year relationship with Jay-Z. “We took our time and developed an unbreakable friendship before we got married.” Sounds like they build a vision, right? In 2013, they became the world’s first billion dollar couple in the music industry through their business partnerships.

In a relationship, vision is everything. It keeps you focused on what you really want and keeps you focused there when things get tough. Many partners and couples start their relationships without talking about a shared vision, much less agreeing to one. Maybe one person is thinking and moving in one direction, and the other isn’t. This can lead someone to embrace ideas and do different things than the other person. Differences in vision might also come up when you’re changing as a person, and we may end up changing in a different direction than our partner or significant other.

When we’re not accountable to each other, we may refuse to acknowledge how our actions are affecting the other person, insisting that they are the only one to blame for the relationship problems. We can become selfish. We can avoid conflict and disconnect when things get stressful or when we argue. That’s the opposite of what we need — with "healthy" conflict, we can identify a problem and break a pattern. With healthy conflict, we’re holding each other accountable to our shared vision for the relationship. “If everything was perfect, you would never learn and you would never grow,” Beyonce has said.

Finally, it’s impossible for two people to know everything about building a great business partnership or growing a great intimate relationship. When you neglect to hire professionals who can help you build and grow, you’re a lot more likely to make bad decisions. Bad decisions lead to bad relationships, and without expert advice, it’s harder to see your way through setbacks.

When I’ve spoken with the people who have great relationships in business and in life, they share stories about vision, accountability and training, and people in successful relationships leave clues on what’s key.

“Everybody asks me why I’m smiling from ear to ear. They say love hurts. But I know it’s gonna take the real work,” Beyonce shared. “Nothing’s perfect but it’s worth it, after fighting through my tears and finally, you put me first!” That’s accountability and training.

I hope you’ll join me in rethinking how we can grow lasting relationships this March. What better time than as we enjoy the first blooms of Spring.

You may know the name, but you do not know the legend...

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 06 Mar 2023 14:40:26 GMT

“You may know my name, but you do not know the legend. I protect the innocent. And in my brave and noble quest for justice, nothing will distract me! Ohhh!”

— Puss in Boots (played by Antonio Banderas)

Photos courtesy of Eva Rinaldi and Lauredobac

__________________________________

You may know the name, but you do not know the legend.

Antonio Banderas recently wrote about how he was proud of his role in the animated movie “Puss in Boots”.

What does a story about Banderas and this animated character have to do with leadership, let alone legends?

Leaders lead because they find a way to breakthrough and succeed where others haven’t. I’ve shared with you over the last month about how when you find your W.H.Y. — W hat you want, H ow you go about getting what you want, and having a clear vision of who Y ou will be — you have the key ingredients you need to lead the life you want, and lead others to where they want to go.

Banderas’ started acting with work in small Spanish theaters and performances on the streets of Malaga, Spain, eventually landing a place with the Spanish National Theatre and international films. Getting a start in Hollywood was a totally different story.

“It’s no secret that I struggled with my English when I first arrived in Hollywood in 1988,” he said. “I was told my accent was too heavy, that I would be typecast and be destined to play the ‘bad guy.’ It was quite a challenging time for me.”

If you wonder what it must have been like to try to breakthrough as a Hispanic actor in Hollywood in the 1980s and 1990s, just think about where we are today. In 2022, only about 3% of lead actors in TV shows are Latinos, and representation in films is no better. But at the box office, Hispanic customers purchased 29% or $2.9 billion of all box office tickets sold in 2019, before the Covid pandemic shut down theaters. Never mind that many of the portrayals of Latinos are negative, from undocumented immigrants, orphans and criminals to poor and uneducated people.

But Banderas was clear on what he wanted. “I was eager to prove myself as an actor and to break out of the limited roles that were being offered to me,” he said. In 1992, still speaking minimal English, he began acting in U.S. films. Despite having to learn all his lines phonetically, Banderas put together a critically praised performance as a struggling musician in his first American drama film The Mambo Kings.

How did he do it? “I remained optimistic, and I knew that if I could find the right project, I could showcase my talents beyond villainous roles.”

When DreamWorks Animation decided to introduce Puss in Boots in Shrek 2, they chose Banderas to voice Puss. For Banderas, it was “a game-changer.”

When you find your W.H.Y., the breakthrough can be larger than you. You create a path that others can be inspired by, learn from and follow. Banderas is doing that for Hispanics, other actors — and all people — who struggle to breakthrough with language accents. That’s the final step to finding your W.H.Y. — being clear, comfortable and confident on who you will be when you get when get what you want.

Antonio Banderas is crystal clear, very happy and clearly confident on who he wanted to be and became.

“One of the things that I always loved about Puss in Boots is that he’s a hero with an accent,” Banderas said. “That Puss would go on to delight so many children who had rarely seen or heard a character at the center of the cinematic story who maybe sounded like them — or sounded like the people they knew — is one of the greatest joys of my life. No matter how old you are, visibility matters. It matters to see yourself represented as a hero, be it live action or animated.”

Here’s to you finding that hero and legend in you — and leading others to find their W.H.Y.

Should you take a snack?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Tue, 28 Feb 2023 00:51:24 GMT

"Sometimes, it's just easier to say yes to that extra snack or dessert, because frankly, it is exhausting to keep saying no.”

— Michelle Obama

____________________

Should you take a snack?

Have you ever struggled to exercise? I’d be shocked if you answer something besides yes. I’ve struggled with exercise too. Some people that know me well find that hard to believe, because I owned a fitness studio for about 2 decades. But yes, I still struggled to exercise sometimes.

What I learned is that willpower isn’t enough. Whether it was helping others keep up their routine, or getting myself motivated to exercise or do something else important like working on a key business project, I learned that if I did something short and vigorous first — like 30 seconds of deep breathing or running in place — I would be ready to do more. That short, vigorous movement elevated my state. Once my state was elevated, I was ready to really act and do more.

With anything we want to achieve in our lives, taking action is always the first step to getting there. We can have all the best intentions and tactics in the world, but if we fail to execute, it’s meaningless. Whether we’re building our business or growing our relationships, everything revolves around taking action.

How do we take the first step? It actually starts with what comes before you take that step. Then it’s how you organize taking and finishing that step.

What's the step before the step? It’s the first of what I call the 3 F’s — you need to "Feel Great."

Turns out that there’s new research showing that this type of physical activity of really short bursts I started to do years ago — what’s now called a “movement snack" — can improve your mood, circulation, strength and more. This wasn’t something that I learned to encourage people to exercise more. It’s one thing I discovered that helped me get through what held me back.

Great execution requires us to feel great. One way to start to feel great is to take that movement snack.

The process of feeling great introduces a paradox. When our bodies and minds need to feel great the most, we’re the least likely — and least ready — to do something about it. When work and life don’t seem to be going right, we quickly slide into a negative cycle of feeling overwhelmed, less energetic and motivated, leading to poorer recovery and exhaustion, which then makes it harder for us to do something to feel great.

To overcome this paradox, you can develop a “feel great” plan. It’s that thing you do when you’d rather stay in bed, you feel blah, or you want to do anything but what you need to do. It’s a thing that’s quick. It’s that warm-up, psyching yourself up — that movement snack — and the step before the step that allows you to go for goal.

Every journey starts with the first step. So next time you find yourself stuck taking that first step, you might consider a snack — a movement snack.

You are not in this on your own. Here’s to the journey with you.

Happen to things. Don't let things happen to you.

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 13 Feb 2023 16:38:19 GMT

" Happen to things, don't let things happen to you. ”

— Stephen R. Covey

photo courtesy of Bridle Up Hope and All-Pro Reels

________________________________

Britain Covey’s journey to the Super Bowl as a Philadelphia Eagle isn’t the story of someone destined to be there. He didn’t let things just happen to him.

At 5-foot-8 and 170 pounds, Britain isn’t someone you’d pick to be an NFL player. He was told he was too small to play high school football, but by his junior year he was the starting quarterback. He was told he was too small to play college football, but by the time he left he was the all-time punt return leader for the University of Utah.

But Britain did have one advantage growing up — his grandfather was Stephen R. Covey , the award-winning educator, author and businessman. Stephen wrote the “7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” which has sold over 20 million copies worldwide.

Of the 7 habits, Stephen R. Covey said Habit #2 was “begin with the end in mind.” That’s the first part of the journey to being your best — a journey I call “Finding Your W.H.Y.”

The journey to finding your W.H.Y. starts by being crystal clear on “ W hat do you want?”

On December 10, 2021, Britain wrote that after going from being a "scrawny" quarterback to college record holder, he was ready for the next chapter. “In pursuit of another childhood dream, I’ll be preparing for the 2022 NFL draft in hopes that someone takes a chance on me.” He went undrafted, but was signed as a free agent by the Eagles.

The second part of being your best by finding your W.H.Y. is “ H ow will you get there?” As I study the best people across various fields, it's clear that your best “how” has 3 parts — a strong mindset, smart tactics and consistent execution.

Britain’s strong mindset was clear. “You kinda had to get your head in the right space because you didn’t want to be motivated by fear of failure,” he said about working to make the Eagles' roster of 55 players. He was smart with his tactics and what his grandfather talks about in Habit #7 — “sharpen the saw.” That’s all about continuously improving.

So he studied his veteran teammates. “More than anything, you watch their processes — how they go about things, the little drills they do, things that no one sees, things that no one is going to write about. That’s what I love to watch about them. That’s a lesson I’ll take out of football as well,” he said.

Then he had to execute his “how” consistently. He was waived during final cuts before the start of the 2022 season, but was brought back on the Eagles’ practice squad. Eventually he was signed to the active roster. “Since Week 6, I think, our unit has been top 3 in the league in punt returns,” he said, with 33 punt returns and a 9.3 yards-per-return average. “You just do what you can, and you learn.” That’s someone who is clearly executing.

The last part of being your best by finding your W.H.Y.” is envisioning “who Y ou will be” and making sure you’re really aligned with that vision. If you're not really linked to that vision, you may need to go back and redefine what you want.

Britain was clearly aligned with his vision. “In a way, I’ve kind of had tunnel vision this whole year, and even this week,” he said leading up to the Super Bowl.

After all his hard work, we may not see Britain play in the Super Bowl — he landed on the injury report late last week with a hamstring injury. But a Super Bowl Championship ring might still be his by the end of the day.

Britain is clearly someone who has found his best by finding his W.H.Y.

As you think about being your best, I encourage you to, in Stephen R. Covey's words, happen to things. Consider spending less time just living and more time finding your W.H.Y.

Here’s to being on that journey with you.

Spy balloons losing their way...and us losing our W.H.Y.

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 06 Feb 2023 16:46:31 GMT

I’m sure you’ve heard about China’s spy balloon. Not just any balloon — a surveillance balloon belonging to the People’s Republic of China that was drifting through US airspace until yesterday.

The Chinese government said the balloon was strictly used for meteorological research and accidentally went adrift into US airspace.

Whether you believe their story or not, China’s balloon is a great example of one of the reasons we lose our way and things go wrong — for our teams, our businesses and our countries.

Teams, businesses and countries — and the leaders who lead them — often deviate from the best way forward because they don’t have a clear enough understanding of what I call their “W.H.Y.” This is one of the tactics and tools we’ll talk about in my “Build a Winning Team!” workshop this week ( click here for more details ).

W.H.Y. stands for…

W - W hat do you want?

H - H ow will you get there?

Y - Who will Y ou be to your clients, customers and those you care about when you get there?

Sounds simple, right? It’s anything but.

Let’s start with China’s “what” question — what did the Chinese want? The Chinese government, like many governments, needs intelligence. Spy balloons are one way to get that intelligence.

Let’s next go to the “how” question — how can the Chinese get that intelligence? Spy balloons, which trace their roots back to the French revolutionary wars of the 1790s, are coming back into vogue for surveillance. Politico reported last year that US is spending $27M+ on inflatable tech in 2023. Balloons are cheaper, aren’t as easily picked up by radar and are more maneuverable than satellites.

Let’s wrap things up with the “you” question — who are you, the Chinese government, now to your people and to the US after sending a spy balloon across the US?

Uncensored reactions on the Chinese internet used it as a chance to make fun of the US defense, saying it couldn’t even defend against a balloon. In the US, Democrats and Republicans were in rare agreement, from disgust to shooting the balloon down.

China was set to host US Secretary of State Blinken this coming week, and China has real issues to discuss. China faces a surge in COVID-19 cases, a slowing economy and in the longer term a population that is shrinking. In December, the Japan Center for Economic Research released a forecast that said China's GDP is unlikely to pass the US in the next few decades — reversing an earlier estimate that said the world's two largest economies would switch places in 2033.

So, does China's spy balloon meet the W.H.Y. test?

China’s “what” around the need for intelligence is clear, and maybe you could argue that inflatable tech has a place in the “how” behind their intelligence gathering and this spy balloon.

But if we dive into the “who will you be” question, if you, your team, your business or your family faced the serious issues China does right now, would raising a stink with an important trade partner like the US by flying a spy balloon over it be a good idea?

As you and your teams think about what’s ahead for you in 2023, I encourage you to really consider your W.H.Y. And if you’d like to learn more about all “10 Tools and Tactics for Building a Winning Team,” I hope you’ll join us for this week's workshop.

Getting picked last isn't great...

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Sun, 29 Jan 2023 13:44:44 GMT

"Not try to overthink things or do anything crazy, just stick to what coach has dialed up. I'm just going to try to play my game and go from there. Just keep it simple."
— Brock Purdy

photo courtesy of the San Francisco 49ers

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Getting picked last isn't great.

And when you're picked last, staying focused in a competitive, hyperconnected, and demanding world would be close to impossible, right?

With today’s tech, we're told that entrepreneurs and intrapreneurs can compete with "the big boys," focusing on their clients and teammates in simpler and more powerful ways than ever before. But does tech really even the playing field?

Strong focus isn't about great tech. Tech is a tool, not a strategy. Strong focus is really an “old school” skill.

San Francisco 49ers Quarterback Brock Purdy will play in the NFC Championship Game later today. He was also named one of three finalists for the AP’s Rookie of the Year on Wednesday. But unless you’re a big football fan, you might not know one thing about him.

Brock Prudy earned the nickname “Mr. Irrelevant” as the last pick of the NFL Draft less than a year ago. He was picked last. How does a player who was barely drafted become the starting quarterback for a championship caliber team?

In college, Purdy's Iowa State Cyclones squared off against the Oklahoma Sooners under the lights in November 2019 in Norman, Oklahoma. It was a nail-biter of a game in which the Sooners eked out a 42-41 victory. Purdy tied a school record for touchdowns by a single player with 6 TDs -- 5 passing and one running.

In describing how he’s grown to become a championship caliber quarterback, Purdy recently said that games like that 2019 one really helped. “I feel like with just a lot being on the line, in the moment, focusing on what's in front of you, focusing on the defense rather than getting caught up in the crowd."

Focus on what’s in front of you. Too simple?

In a recent interview I had with Mandi Dana, a mentor coach, trainer, executive and lifestyle coach, we talked about the challenges leaders face at work and in life. Mandi and I covered 3 ways leaders find stronger focus, including the growing a team’s mindset, the value of accountability, and commitment.

Mandi said that we’re sometimes surprised to find that strengthening focus can be simple. “People think it’s so much more complicated. It’s [about] ‘what’, ‘why,’ and ‘how,’ and commitment,” she said. “Focus equals your commitment level. When you are focused and committed, you take a different level of action and you get better results.” (You can watch a Quick Take from our interview by clicking here) .

And that’s exactly what Brock Purdy was saying — focus can be simple. He focuses on and is committed just to what challenge is directly in front of him, play by play, which allows him to take a higher level of action and get a greater result.

If you want to strengthen your focus, your team's focus or your family's focus, you might consider keeping it simple. Carefully consider your challenges, identify potential solutions and execute. If it doesn’t work, refocus, recommit and execute again.

Whatever you’re looking to make happen in 2023, here’s to taking simple, focused action. That's an "old school" skill that always wins.

Time is precious. Waste it wisely.

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Sun, 22 Jan 2023 15:47:28 GMT

You already know that if you and your team are focused, you’re much more likely to get to where you want to go. What you might miss sometimes is that losing focus is more than just about not reaching goals.

If you and your business lose focus, that’s also when stress and overwhelm show up. And work stress and overwhelm will spill over into the non-work parts of your life. So how we strengthen our focus?

You start to strengthen your focus by tactically blocking your time.

Elon Musk is controversial right now. But there’s one thing about Musk around which there’s no controversy. He’s doing big things. He’s creating self-driving cars. He’s driving social media. He’s going to Mars. He’s sending the internet to places where the internet doesn't easily go. Here’s what he said in an interview with Y Combinator…

“Owning my calendar is how I went from a one-man business to a 400-employee company,” Musk said. “If I've got to tell you from going small to big, it's to control your calendar and learn how to prioritize the one big thing each day. If you look at my calendar today, I have everything time-blocked.”

When you block time for what’s most important, it's easier to focus on your work without distraction, and you’re more efficient in the things you do. Time blocking is planning your schedule in advance by blocking time in your day for specific tasks and responsibilities. It's not a to-do list. It’s a block of time dedicated to doing, as Musk says, “one big thing.”

But it’s not just about blocking time. It’s about blocking some time, the right amount of time, and time for what’s most important.

In our Leadership Circle, we recently talked about the “7 Time Blocking Tactics” that will allow you to block time in a way that will allow you to really focus on the “dominoes” that will create maximum impact for you and your teams... click here to see a quick part of that training . Here are 3 of those ways that might help you tactically block time…

Create one “Focus” time block early in each week, where you plan your weekly time blocks.
Make your time blocks as short as you can — just long enough to accomplish 1-3 “domino” actions toward your “one thing.” Think 30-60 minutes.
Spend the first few minutes and the last few minutes of your time block creating focus — what you’ll do in that block and what you’ll do in the next block for the same one thing.

With tactical time blocking, you and your team can increase your productivity and really make progress toward your goals. It’s also the best way to honor what you want in all the different parts of your life, which is critical to your mental and physical well-being.

And when you’re living your best life, you’re also modeling how to live for your work teams and your life teams. Leadership always starts with leader-self.

Here's to you and that journey.

What's the biggest risk of all?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Sun, 15 Jan 2023 16:36:36 GMT

The biggest risk of all is not taking one. We just passed the day many risks were not taken — Quitter’s Day.

In 2019, Strava — a social network for athletes — published extensive research showing that approximately 80% of people who made New Year’s resolutions have quit their goals by the second Friday in January — which was last Friday.

Why do we give up on our goals? Two reasons…

We see a goal as a chore and too difficult to reach
We find no happiness or joy in the goal

Maybe you haven’t even set any specific goals for 2023. I’ve been there too. When year after year you see your goals as too difficult or too unhappy a journey — or both — of course you’ll stop setting goals.

But if you don’t set goals, how will you move forward? And as a leader, whether at work, with your family or in your community, if you don’t set goals, why should your teams set goals?

I know you’re setting goals and achieving them all the time. You’re waking up and thinking about your day. You’re finding food and eating and drinking. You’re working or you’re resting. You’re setting and achieving those goals every day. Because if you don’t achieve them, you can’t be happy — and you can’t survive. Since that’s true, the opposite must also be true.

When you set goals and achieve them, you will be happier, and you will thrive.

If you think what seem like basic life needs aren’t really goals, just listen to Mellody Hobson, the president of Ariel investments. She grew up without a father. Her mother was a businesswoman who didn’t have practical know-how, often getting the family evicted from homes throughout Hobson’s childhood.

However, her mother instilled a fierce independence in her. “My mom would say, ‘You have a birthday party to go to? Well, you can’t go unless you’ve planned how to get there and how to get a present.’” Hobson said. “She wouldn’t do that for me. I found my own orthodontist, my own high school. I set up interviews and did college trips,” she said. “When I think of my career and why I leaned in, it comes down to basic survival.”

So, if you’ve quit, or you’re about to quit, or you never started in the first place, consider setting the right goals for yourself and helping your teams set the right goals. How do you know your goals are the right goals?

Think about you and your teams setting and measuring goals against my “3 Quick Questions for Your Goals” …

Are my/our goals the right size?
Are the goals linked to your/our strongest desires?
Will the goals give you/us more happiness and joy?

“I’m hoping” and “I’m trying” are not specific enough to work.

I led a team retreat last week. When I followed up yesterday with James, one member of our team, he shared with me that he left the retreat more connected with his goals than ever before. “The dread is gone. I’m less hopeful…and that’s a good thing. Because it’s not about hope. I needed to think about what I really wanted to do and could do. Now I do and I’m ready to do it. I have the team, the support, the accountability, and the desire to do it.”

I really encourage you to set or reset your goals and analyze them against the 3 quick questions. If you can answer “yes” to “right sized,” you and your teams know the goals are achievable this year. If you can answer “yes” to a link to you and your team’s strongest desires, you know your goals are really worth the work. And if you can answer “yes” to you and your team’s goals bringing more happiness and joy to life and the lives of the people you love and serve, the work will bring the rewards of growth and contribution.

Isn’t that a life worth living and a team worth leading?

Ideas have a shelf-life. How about your goals?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 09 Jan 2023 15:15:10 GMT

"It's really clear to me that you can't hang onto something longer than its time. Ideas lose certain freshness, ideas have a shelf life, and sometimes they have to be replaced by other ideas."

— Alan Alda

photo courtesy of Alan Kotok

________________________

If you’re reading this, you’re an achiever. The only way I imagine you’d take the time to think about leadership and your leader-self is if you are an achiever.

As an achiever, you’ve been conditioned to go for big goals. And there’s an inherent challenge with that.

When we set work, relationship and other targets that are closely linked to who we think we are — our identity — it can be hard to give them up, even in the face of insurmountable barriers. But what if we didn’t look at our choices as only two — either keeping the goal or giving up the goal?

What if we put some goals “on the shelf” — like good books we yet haven’t finished — and come back to them later?

Last year was quite a year for me. While I had some successes last year, I also faced a super hard relationship and family break-up and a real downturn in one of my businesses. That means that in several domains of my life — family, finances, feelings and focus — I felt like I was moving further away from my goals.

But our lives really aren’t as simple as either moving toward or further away from our goals. As I did a reset in December and looked back on the setbacks, I found that the setbacks gave me a lot more clarity around what wasn’t and isn’t working and what I really want in my life.

I‘ve gained new goals — and new energy — with my reset. And the science shows that the benefits you can get with this reset are real.

Experiments by University of Zurich psychology researcher Zita Mayer and her colleagues showed that when subjects shelved one of two desirable goals with the option of returning to the shelved goal later, they experienced less regret than those who permanently gave up on one of the goals.

Giving up on a goal for awhile has real health benefits. A 2019 meta-analysis of 31 samples overwhelmingly shows that people who are better at letting go of unattainable goals and reengaging other goals have better functioning endocrine and immune systems, better health behaviors and fewer physical problems. Those better at pursuing new goals are healthier and function better physically under emotional distress.

So as you start 2023, as you set your course, and as you lead your teams at work and your teams in life,

you might consider some goals that didn’t happen for you and for your teams in 2022 as something that didn’t need to happen in 2022...

Set some of those 2022 goals on the shelf for another week, another quarter or another year. They might be big goals or small goals.
Reengage with some other goals in 2023. Maybe take some old ones off the shelf, dust them off, and see if they fit you this week, this quarter, or this year.

Your goals, whatever the size, may or may not be "right now" goals. You might just want to come back to some goals later. And that can actually be your best way to live.

Where can you find tomorrow, today?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 02 Jan 2023 06:13:38 GMT

Happy New Year!

Last week I shared a meal with great friends at a Chinese restaurant. Whether you order Chinese food delivered or visit a Chinese restaurant, you know what the end-of-the-meal tradition will be — the fortune cookie.

Fortune cookies can be traced back to Japan in the 1870s and in the U.S. to the many Japanese people operating Chinese restaurants in Los Angeles and San Francisco in the early 1900s, where the cookies were made on iron grills.

I’ve always enjoyed reading the fortunes. By tradition, they are usually ancient proverbs that encapsulate life-long lessons passed down from generation to generation. These proverbs express all kinds of philosophies and ideas. In our busy lives, we don’t always break our everyday routines to get a new perspective. The fortune cookie is a fun way to do that. And my fortune that day really made me think.

“School is a building which has four walls with tomorrow inside.”

Chinese proverb? No! Dan Valentine seems to have penned these words in the 1960s here in the U.S. to talk about his view of elementary schools.

When I first read it, I really liked it. Then I wondered if a building with four walls was too strict a definition of “school.” Are our schools really the only spaces — or even the main places — where we learn?

When I think about what I’ve learned “in the field” — through the blood, sweat and tears of building businesses, growing and losing relationships with family and friends, the ups and downs of my health and fitness, etc. — the lessons are too many to count. And when I coach or work with my coach to better frame and understand what’s good, what’s not and the path ahead, I’ve seen life move forward more powerfully than before.

But what really stuck with me is Valentine’s vision of school and that “tomorrow is inside.” School — traditional or otherwise — is where you build your future. Learning and growing is where you build your tomorrow.

As I think about 2023, I’m thinking about what I need to learn to build my tomorrow. Here are the "3 Questions of Growth for the New Year" that I’m focusing on:

In what areas of my life do I want to grow in 2023?
What “school” can help me build my future?
Who are the key people who can help me grow in my business and in my life?

Chinese tradition doesn't stop with proverbs about fortune. According to tradition, there are some things that people can do to fend off back luck and bring good luck into life. Whether you believe that or not, there’s a lot to the idea that “we make our own luck.”

You decide what you do. There are many ways of going forward, and there are always people who can help you turn decades of their experience into days of you learning. There are people who can help you avoid the same mistakes they made and grow faster by doing the things they did that worked. And there are people who can help you integrate what you’re learning so it sticks and you make the changes you really want to make. These are your “who.”

I wish you really good fortune in 2023. And I hope I can be part of your “who.” You can tune in right here for our weekly leadership conversations and stay tuned for a January workshop where we’ll talk about next-level leadership.

A Christmas Lesson for Leaders from Ebenezer Scrooge

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 26 Dec 2022 16:09:31 GMT

A Christmas Lesson for Leaders from Ebenezer Scrooge

Merry Christmas! And whether you celebrate Christmas or not, I hope you’re adding some happy memories and stories to your life this holiday season.

If we’re talking about stories this time of year, one of the classics I think about is Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol,” a story centered around a selfish and unfriendly old man who hates Christmas — Ebenezer Scrooge. I’m sure you’ve seen it or heard the story — it’s been recreated for film, television and the stage dozens of times.

If you’ve followed this conversation over the last few weeks, you know that we’ve talked about holiday melancholy — because when we slow down for the holidays, we sometimes think about both what's right and what's not in our lives. That’s where I find “A Christmas Carol” to be an especially timely and timeless story. Beyond the story of an unfriendly old man visited by several ghosts, we can find in Dickens’ story something that’s very common and unexpectedly powerful.

Scrooge is an entrepreneur whose decisions as a leader have made for a sad life, which comes into focus at Christmastime. And Scrooge’s life — including the visions he receives from the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future — can offer us several lessons on leadership.

Wait a minute, you might say, is that a stretch? Was Charles Dickens really trying to share some real lessons with us in a Christmas allegory?

Charles Dickens grew up in and was powerfully affected by the Industrial Revolution of the 1800s. On the one hand, the Industrial Revolution brought a great economic and technological development. On the other hand, it caused caused great chaos and many serious social problems.

Dickens experienced this hardship and separation as a child. After his father lost his job in the British Navy in 1824, Dickens’ father was sent to debtor’s prison and was soon followed by his wife and most of their children — all with the exception of Charles and his sister Fanny. Families that couldn’t find employment or afford housing often ended up in these workhouses, which were designed to be humiliating as punishment for the “sin” of being poor.

By the mid-19th century, it has been estimated that 100,000 children in London had never attended school. Children who didn’t attend school often worked in factories, mines, construction businesses, shipyards and as chimney sweeps, sometimes from the age of just 3 years old. As a result of the Industrial Revolution’s increased mechanization in workplaces and the fact that children could be paid less, employers often relied upon child labor, and children could work for up to 16 hours a day in dangerous, dirty conditions. As a result, life expectancy didn’t normally exceed the mid-twenties.

Charles was forced to drop out of school at 12 and work at a boot-blackening factory to make ends meet. The conditions within these workhouses were slum-like breeding grounds for disease, violence and crime. He wrote later that this work and time in his life made him feel “utterly neglected and hopeless.”

Dickens’ experiences led to a lifelong devotion to helping the underserved through his literature. That Scrooge paid Bob Cratchit a low wage which couldn’t sustain his son’s health was a reflection of the suffering of the working-class people of the 1800s in England. As Dickens’ biographer Michael Slater described, the author thought of “A Christmas Carol” as a way to “help open the hearts of the prosperous and powerful towards the poor and powerless…."

In a recent Leadership Circle training, I shared 3 lessons that I’ve learned from Scrooge’s story (click here to watch). What I find especially poignant about “A Christmas Carol” is that while Scrooge has good people in his life, he loses himself in his work. He stops caring about things like how cold it is in his office, or how times are celebrated with his family, because Scrooge sees all of it as a waste of time and money.

Have you ever lost yourself in your work, only to find yourself unhappier? Or have you lost yourself in your work and found yourself without the strong relationship, family or friendships you really want? Many of us have, and that’s exactly where Ebenezer Scrooge is when the story begins.

Whether you celebrate Christmas or not, you might find yourself in that place, or getting closer to that dark version of Scrooge. But like Scrooge, who was an older man in the present of the story, it’s never too late to change. It’s never too late to recommit to grow the leader within you, and, as a leader in life, to positively impact all the people that are in your life.

This holiday season, beyond the common things we all do, I hope you’ll join me and take some uncommon action. Let's reflect on how we can grow and do just a little bit more in the coming year. If there's something you'd like to reflect on together, I hope you'll reach out!

How do we tackle tough times?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 19 Dec 2022 09:49:42 GMT

“Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We’re all in this together.”

— Clark Griswold (played by Chevy Chase)

photo courtesy of David Zellaby

_____________________________

Tackling Tough Times with Questions and Conversations

If you’ve followed this conversation over the last few weeks, you know we’ve talked about melancholy around the holidays. Why? Because when we slow down for the holidays, we have more time on our hands — and more time in our heads. And what the studies show is that when we're in our heads, we don’t just think about both what's right in our lives. We also think about what’s not so right.

Guess what? If you're thinking about both the good things and the bad right now, you’re on the right track.

Anthony M. Tobia, professor of psychiatry at the Rutgers Robert Wood Johnson Medical School, recently spoke about the science and studies around being our happiest, especially during the holidays. What strategies can help us get more from our holiday get-togethers this month? How do we lead ourselves, our teams, and our families to be our happiest?

“People who get the most from holiday gatherings tend to have two traits, Tobia shared. “First, they intuitively realize there’s good and bad — stuff they like and dislike — in almost everyone and everything. Second, rather than focusing on the negative, they focus on the positive and bring it out in conversation.”

Unless you’re watching Chevy Chase in National Lampoon’s comedy classic “Christmas Vacation,” you’re likely seeing a lot of idyllic visions of the holidays. You're seeing families gathering around a warm fire, people happily opening presents, music and songs spreading cheer everywhere, and the world skating and riding sleighs through a winter wonderland.

And yet our holidays often don’t measure up. “Social media has increased our tendency toward the happiness-destroying habit of comparing ourselves to others…particularly during the holidays,” Tobia reminds us. The holidays can “gives us many more opportunities to wish our real lives measured up with the idealized lives that people present online.” Instead, we may reflect on our faults and failures, grieve the people we’ve loved and lost, and renew old feuds, all leading to stress and conflict.

I recently walked into a room to find one of my really good friends. Instinctively, I said “hi!” and asked how he was. “Shitty,” he said. “It’s been a shitty day.” I said I was sorry to hear that. Rather than ask what happened or try to shift the conversation to a happier subject, I just sat down and stayed quiet.

After an awkward quiet that seemed like it would never end, he switched the subject to what we were going to do next — have a meal together. And rather than steer the conversation, I asked a few questions during our conversation that I thought might allow him to shift his mood in the way he wanted.

“What do you really want to do right now?” I asked. He said that he’d love to open up a bottle of wine and catch up about what had happened in the World Cup games. And that's exactly what we did.

As Tobia says, we were happier because rather than focusing on the negative, we shifted our focus to the positive through questions and conversation.

Here are 5 more powerful questions you might consider using to shift your conversations into the positive, especially this holiday season.

“What are you looking forward to?”
“Did you notice that it’s a beautiful day today/relatively quiet right now/comfortable just sitting here right now?”
“Do you ever wonder what gives you the most peace in life?”
“Who needs your forgiveness right now?”
“Who has really been there for you?”

We’re conditioned to think that the best people and leaders are supposed to be “up” all the time — incredibly positive. But the reality is that we’re all going to have our “low” moments. And that's when we can help each other by shifting the conversation.

Wherever you find yourself over the holiday season, I hope your conversations help you and your loved ones find the happy stories in your life and the things that give you the strength to not only be your best but also to help you face the everyday.

What's a real holiday "reset" look like?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Sun, 11 Dec 2022 18:46:56 GMT

“In training, everyone focuses on 90% physical and 10% mental but in the races, it's 90% mental because there’s very little that separates us physically at the elite level.”

— Elka Graham, Olympic Swimmer

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What's a real holiday "reset" look like?

If you're anything like me, you start slowing down in December. You’re wrapping some things up for the year, and you’re getting ready or in a holiday break. And when you look back at your year, especially when you’re an achiever, you might experience a really weird feeling.

We talked about it last week — you might feel melancholy. You might feel happy one minute and depressed the next. Why? Because you have more time to spend in your head — more time to think about both what's right and what's not in your life.

You wouldn't be alone. Great people from Winston Churchill and Abraham Lincoln to Emily Dickinson and Agatha Christie have suffered from a melancholic depression. There’s good news there — disempowering thoughts don't prevent us from creativity, insight and achievement.

I remember a great athlete, Michael, talking about a photo taken of him in the Fall of 2008 — a photo published around the world — that showed him smoking from a bong. Drugs were a way of running from "whatever it was I wanted to run from," he said. Today, Michael knows that he was battling anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts, even with his athletic prowess. "It would be just me self-medicating myself, basically daily, to try to fix whatever it was that I was trying to run from."

You probably know of Michael. This is Michael Phelps , talking about just after he won eight gold medals – winning a gold in every event he entered – and breaking the World Records in seven of them.

We’re conditioned to think that great people are supposed to be “up” all the time, incredibly positive. And that when we feel depressed, we need to quash that. While it’s clear that long lasting, debilitating depression is a serious issue, we’re also conditioned to think that depression should be eradicated, with endless gratitude visits and medication.

Don’t get me wrong. Gratitude visits — journaling and thinking about why we’re grateful — have been shown in decades of research to make a difference. And someone who has chronic depression can really benefit from a doctor who is skilled at treating the condition.

But what if we saw some of our dark moments as valuable time for introspection? What if we understood that this sad time, this strange time and this weird time helped us get clear on what we don’t want in our lives and what isn’t working in our lives? What if we saw it as an important part of the path to a happier, more successful life?

My leadership group and I call this the “reset” stage.

You can identify what the “holes” are in your life. Without understanding what the holes are — and what hasn’t worked to bridge the gap — it’s less clear on what your opportunities are when you get out of that hole, and it’s less clear what tactics will help you out of that hole.

Today, Michael Phelps understands that "it's OK to not be OK.” He said “I was very good at compartmentalizing things and stuffing things away that I didn't want to talk about…I just never ever wanted to see those things.” Once he began to talk about his feelings, "life became easy." Phelps said, "I said to myself so many times, 'Why didn't I do this 10 years ago?' But, I wasn't ready.”

If you need help, please ask for help. And if you know someone who is struggling, please them if they need help.

This month, you might think about what’s working. And as Michael says, you might talk about what’s not working with a significant other, a sibling, a parent, a friend, a doctor, a therapist, or a coach. It won’t be pleasant, but often doing the hard work is what makes for an easier life.

Michael Phelps said that once he talked about what was hard life became easy. Here’s to you and spending a little time in the dark so that you can find your best way to the light.

Is December Melancholy A Good Thing?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 05 Dec 2022 10:47:41 GMT

“I am a slow walker, but I never walk back.”

-- Abraham Lincoln

________________________________

December could be a melancholic month.

There’s a kind of wind-down that happens after Thanksgiving and in December. In business, we’re working to wrap up the year — closing out some business and pushing other business to the new year. And beyond business, we have the holidays — often spending time with family and friends.

Whether we’re talking business or our personal lives, a wind-down can mean that we have more time on our hands and more time in our thoughts. If you’re anything like me, you find yourself reflecting both on what’s going well and what’s not. And what’s ahead.

That’s where melancholy can hit us. What’s going well and what’s not. And the uncertainty of what’s ahead, especially in 2023.

According to KPMG's latest CEO survey, 86% of top executives believe there will be a recession in the next 12 months. Plus, over three-quarters of CEOs surveyed already have plans in place to deal with an economic slowdown.

So how do we deal with that uncertainty, that melancholy? Those economic headwinds — or the headwinds in our personal lives? Or do we deal with them at all?

In writing about the “anatomy” of melancholy for Psychology Today, Neel Burton M.D. says that this melancholy might offer us some advantages. “The time and space and solitude…prevent us from making rash decisions, enable us to reconnect with the bigger picture, and encourage us to reassess our social relationships, think about those who matter most to us, and relate to them more meaningfully and with greater compassion.”

If you’re reading this, I imagine that you’re interested in leadership. And if you’re interested in leadership, you likely set a high bar for yourself. Setting a high bar — setting goals — is just one piece of achievement. Like being happy is just one part of living an extraordinary life. Goals are neither always achieved nor infinite. And living an extraordinary life doesn't exist without dark days to give us a measuring stick.

Is our melancholy really something we can learn from as leaders? Joshua Wolf Shenk shared in a book about one renowned leader he had researched, “His despair lay under a distinct hope; his overwhelming melancholy fed into a supple creative power, which allowed him not merely to see the truth of his circumstances but to express it in a stirring, meaningful way.”

Shenk was writing about the role melancholy played in the life of Abraham Lincoln.

We need this December time — and all the feelings that come with it — to reflect on our lives.

This December, I’m encouraging my Leadership Circle to think about December as a time to consider 3 things — a time to reset your goals, a time to refine the vision of what you want, and a time to recommit to who you will be when you get there.

In the coming weeks, if you experience any “downs,” you might embrace it. In Dr. Burton’s words, it might just be the opportunity for us to “cast off the polyannish optimism and rose-tinted spectacles that shield us from reality, stand back at a distance, re-evaluate and prioritize our needs, and formulate a modest but realistic plan for fulfilling them.”

And once you allow yourself this reset and refine your needs, you’ll be ready to recommit to your goals – to the real you and to the path that is the life you really want.

What do you do when gratitude is hard?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Sun, 27 Nov 2022 16:52:35 GMT

“Talk to yourself like someone you love.”

-- Brene Brown

___________________________

What do you do when gratitude is hard…

What do you do when you don’t feel very thankful? What do you do when times are hard, and when days like Thanksgiving or people who seem to be “winning” are unwelcome reminders of what’s not going well for you?

You might consider thanking yourself .

We live in two worlds — our inside world and our outside world. Our outside world is that external world where days like Thanksgiving can have outsized expectations around being grateful, “power of positivity” people preaching thankfulness, and idyllic pictures of families gathering for a happy dinner.

I’m guilty of contributing to some of those outsized moments. Partly because it’s my set point — I was fortunate to be born seeing the glass half full. Partly because I’m committed to the belief that I can actively lead myself to a better place.

I‘ve also lived through holidays where I haven’t felt like the world is all good. And if feel like you’re in that place in one or all parts of your life, I would offer 2 ways and 2 reasons why thanking yourself by turning to your inside, internal world might be just the thing to do…

1 - Thank yourself for you. Your mind is giving you the gift of emotion — even if that emotion is pain. That pain is the opposite of joy, and the pain you feel will allow you to experience a more full level of joy when you get there. Your body is your life vehicle. Each breathe and each movement is something your body alone does. Whether it’s sunny or rainy, your lungs will breathe and you can move your body how you need it to move forward.

After my most recent break-up, and after years of leaning into that relationship, I had some dark days. The same dark days hit me in business at one point, after a business partner stole from our partnership. Both times, I had to spend some time by myself, taking care of myself -- at home, doing solo travel, things on my own. That included thanking myself for me and for what I had done up until that point. It also gave me the time and space to get to the next step…

2 - Thank yourself, by doing something small for yourself. Because you deserve it . You deserve to enjoy a little extra sleep, a few extra minutes to enjoy your coffee or tea, a walk in the fresh air. You deserve to watch something that moves or inspires you, to listen to something that enlightens you. You deserve to really taste a good meal, to sit quietly with a favorite book, to tap your fingers or sway or dance to a song that reminds you of the good times and the better times.

Whether it was my partnership loss or my relationship loss, doing small things for myself were part of what a good friend of mine recently shared is about pushing through. “Sometimes you have to just push through to get to the other side,” he said, “and right now I’m just pushing through.” Whether we are leading others or we are leading ourselves, sometimes we have to just push through.

You may be facing tough times right now, or you may face tough times ahead. I know you can push through. And I hope that if and when you’re there that you will also consider doing something that shouldn’t take much push.

Thank yourself. You are always worthy of thanks.

Kindness and giving thanks makes us happier…

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Tue, 22 Nov 2022 20:06:29 GMT

As we think about Thanksgiving and gratitude this week, one thing I think about is an area of our lives that can seem a little “squishy,” for lack of a better word – faith. Faith can be religious, or it could be the faith we have in ourselves or in our larger world. Faith doesn’t seem like something we can touch. It seems like something that we either have or we don’t.

To explore what having greater faith in our lives can look like, we might look to people and leaders who have great faith. One that always comes to my mind is the Dalai Lama.

The Tibetan spiritual leader was awarded the Gandhi Mandela Award in India last week.

The Dalai Lama, receiving the peace prize from the New Delhi-based Gandhi Mandela Foundation, said that “for world peace, we have to adopt nonviolence and compassion as these are the guiding forces for existence.”

How does the Dalai Lama show compassion? For me, it starts with the way he shows up every time I read what he shares or watch him speak. He is a remarkably kind person. “My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness,” he once said.

Kindness is incredibly powerful. Drs. Sreenivasan and Weinberger wrote about the research on kindness in Psychology Today – that our sense of happiness increases by the simple act of counting the number of our acts of kindness. Counting one’s acts of kindness also leads happy people to become more kind and grateful. I recently explored the power of “gratitude visits” with my Leadership in a “Quick Take” video you can watch by clicking this link.

Kindness also increases our sense of connection. “When you feel connected with others,” the researchers wrote, “you lessen alienation, and you enhance the sense that we are more similar than dissimilar in our experiences. Feeling connected melds us together rather than divides us. Kindness is potent in strengthening a sense of community and belonging.”

The psychologists also cited research saying that compassion and kindness has the power to reduce stress, boost the immune system, and help reduce negative emotions such as anger, depression, and anxiety.

That led me to a few questions you might consider…

You may have been encouraged at one point to practice “random acts of kindness”…but why random? Why not practice regular and purposeful kindness? What if this Thanksgiving, we decided to extend our gratitude practice — and our practice of showing of kindness — beyond the holidays and count the daily practice?

At the end of the day, faith can be something we can touch. With a daily practice of kindness, we can touch all the people in our lives. What powerful leadership we would bring to our world with that regular practice.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours…and grateful to be on this journey with you.

J.P.

George Washington didn't blame the previous administration.

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 14 Nov 2022 21:03:35 GMT

“Government is not reason and it is not eloquence. It is force! Like fire it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master. Never for a moment should it be left to irresponsible action.”

-- George Washington

_____________________________

George Washington didn't blame the previous administration.

And it's thought that George Washington didn't find much fun in elections and politics. There may not be much that’s fun about elections, and fun probably isn’t the point of elections. Even as you read this, you might be thinking – “oh boy, do I really want to read something about politics?”

I’m not going to talk politics for long, so I hope you’ll hang in there with me.

What made this week’s election interesting, not including who and what were on the ballot, was that the elections were close. That’s unusual, because the party of a sitting President usually loses a significant number of seats in Congress.

Why was it so close? And why does it being close matter?

Exit polls found that voters were broadly discontented with the state of the nation, the economy, President Joe Biden, views on abortion and Biden’s predecessor President Trump. 55% disapproved of Biden and inflation was the top issue for voters at 31%. About 6 in 10 voters felt negatively about the Supreme Court overturning Roe v Wade. Roughly 28% of voters said they intended their vote to express opposition to former President Trump, a few points lower than the roughly one-third who said they were expressing opposition to Biden.

What was really big? About 75% of voters said they were dissatisfied or angry about the way things are going in the US, and a similar share called the economy not so good or poor.

One positive thing that Americans tend to agree on is the importance of voting. Around seven-in-ten U.S. adults (69%) say it’s very important to vote in elections to be a good member of society.

Sonya Letson, President of the League of Women Voters, recently had an interesting take on why voting is important.

“Most of us have played sports at some point. And we know that sometimes our team wins. And sometimes our team does not win.,” Letson said. “But participating in the sport has its own value. And it’s really important that we do it, and that we work to try to win. I’m not always going to be happy with who’s elected. And sometimes I’m going to be really happy with who’s elected. But the importance of participating is that if everyone participates, we have a better chance of having an outcome that truly reflects the will of the majority of the voters.”

Whether or not you believe that election outcomes lead to a government that does what the majority of voters want, what’s particularly powerful in Letson’s words is that life isn’t a spectator sport.

Participating in life has its own value. If you don’t participate you can’t win. And it’s really important that we try to win in what we do.

We are either winning or losing in our lives – there’s no middle ground. We’re either getting closer to our significant others, our families and our friends or we’re drifting apart. We’re either growing our work and our business or they are declining. We’re either improving our health and fitness or we’re wasting away. We’re either feeling better about our lives or we’re more pessimistic. Balance, status-quo or whatever you want to call the middle ground is an illusion – growth or decline are our only really options.

If those are our choices, why not try to win? We often think that it’s harder to try to win than to not try. But what if we took very small, tactical steps toward winning, gradually putting together series of small wins in our lives, rather than think we have to hit a home run or win the lottery?

Clearly, most of us feel dissatisfied or angry about the way things are going in the U.S. – that we’re facing a crisis. And there’s opportunity in the crisis if we get tactical. Click here for a Quick Take from a recent Leadership Circle training on getting tactical around opportunity.

We can vote, but we can’t expect the government to save us – to change our lives for the better. We can decide to really participate in our lives, to get tactical and make changes in all aspects of our lives for the better.

We can win. We just need to get into the game.

Here’s to getting in the game with you and playing to win.

I love you. You hate me.

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Sun, 06 Nov 2022 13:17:52 GMT

“I think that it’s very important for us to somehow include the idea of how do we express love, even in the face of contradiction.”

speaking about Kanye West...

Illya Davis,

Philosophy Professor, Morehouse College

photo of Kanye West by David Shankbone

____________________________________

Brooklyn Nets guard Kyrie Irving was just suspended for "publicizing a film containing deeply disturbing antisemitic hate.” Beginning in October, Kanye West — also known as “Ye” — went on a spree of public anti-Semitic comments and conspiracy theories.

As the January 6 insurrection prosecutions continue, some Americans still believe left-wing activists, namely Antifa, are to blame.

Last year, hate crimes in the 10 largest metropolitan areas reporting a record increase of 54.5%, and increased in 37 major cities, with the increase attributed to crimes against Asians and Jews.

About a third of the nation’s historically Black colleges and universities have been targeted with bomb threats this year.

What the heck is going on? And what do we do about it?

Peter Drucker, the famed leadership consultant, once said “Company cultures are like country cultures. Never try to change one. Try, instead, to work with what you've got.”

That’s why I’m writing you a letter on Sundays. How can we work with what we’ve got? How can we get better?

When we’re facing a cultural problem, whether in our businesses or with our families, we first have to understand why.

Researcher Paul Verhaeghen, a Georgia Tech psychologist, led a study that found that word-based racial, gender and ageist stereotypes are rooted in the words often appearing together in literature and media.

"There’s one idea that people tend to associate black people with violence, women with weakness, or older people with forgetfulness because they are prejudiced. But there’s another possibility that what’s in your head is not you — it’s the culture around you," Verhaeghen said. "And so what you have is stuff you picked up from reading, television, radio and the Internet."

If it’s what we’re reading, hearing and watching, we counter it by acknowledging those problems and reading, hearing and watching examples of great cultures and the leaders who really grow these cultures.

In a recent interview for my Leadership Circle, I spoke with Kevin Kelly, a home health care pioneer and current CEO and President of the Lakes Region Visiting Nurses Association, about building great teams and what makes for great culture.

What really stood out in my conversation with Kevin was his emphasis on empathy and caring. The best team leaders build great culture when they understand their people, understand their “stress,” and really “take the time for everybody,” Kevin shared.

And what’s the impact of culture? Kevin’s leadership on culture means his Lakes Region nurses are receiving 10x more referrals and conducting 20x more visits across 15x more towns. That’s a culture of care that then delivers more care. You can watch a part of my conversation with Kevin by clicking here .

In the face of hate, what if we purposefully and consistently countered it by spending more time with our work teams and life teams? What if we brought more energy to our caring? And how much better would we feel if we spent that time with these people who are the most important people in our lives?

“‘Culture made me do it’ is no excuse for racism," Verhaeghen and the study authors add.

And building cultures that care will help us head back in the right direction. Here’s to heading in that direction with you.

What if you were hurt and in the ambulance?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Sun, 30 Oct 2022 15:54:32 GMT

“In today's world, where we live, there is no longer someone else's war. None of you can feel safe when there is a war in Ukraine, when there is a war in Europe.”

Volodymyr Zelensky,

President of Ukraine

______________________________

What would you do if you were injured and couldn’t make it to the hospital — because your ambulance was shot up?

These last few weeks, we’ve been talking about weathering storms and crises, ranging from Hurricane Ian to what’s happening in Iran and Ukraine. We’re seeing leaders step up to respond, from first responders and student protesters to Ukrainian civilian fighters and President Zelensky.

I was at fundraiser for Ukraine Friends on Wednesday, where Ukrainian leaders talked about how grateful they were for our donations, which have helped Ukrainians survive and rebuild, including the purchase of several dozen ambulances.

And over 20 of those ambulances have already been damaged beyond repair by gunfire, the leaders shared.

We’ve been watching the tragedy in Ukraine unfold for months. Beyond their resilience, what really inspired me about the stories the Ukrainians shared was something I could hear in their stories.

The Ukrainians are incredibly tactical.

One general spoke about how their Territorial Defense forces now number 120,000 people. These are former Ukrainian civilians that never had military training before this year.

One government leader talked about the building of playgrounds, so that Ukrainian children could have some semblance of normalcy in their lives.

One American doctor who went on a mission to Ukraine talked about Ukrainian doctors pressing to learn techniques from her around the clock to help save lives.

We all face crises in our lives. A big drop in business. A job loss. The sudden illness or death of a family member. A traumatic injury. A pandemic. A hurricane. The crises don’t define us.

How we respond to our crises is what defines us.

These last few weeks, I have encouraged you to consider what holes you have in your crisis plans. Imagine the crises others face and ask, “what would I have to do if…?” Ask “who can help me?” Who will be your “team” in helping you face the storm? Here’s a quick exercise from a recent Leadership Circle training on how to identify your “H.O.W.” and practice crisis leadership.

The next step — and the key step — is to get tactical, so you're ready to really respond as you face the next storm. What’s one action that you can do in the next 24 hours that will help you be ready to handle the next crisis? Then, what’s one more action you can take in following 24 hours? And how about one final action in the 24 hours after that?

The things that helped you weather your past storms are not exactly the things that will help you weather the storm tomorrow. Experience and an empowering mindset are important, but they’re not enough. Winning tactics and consistent execution — taking action right now — will allow you to survive if not thrive in the next crisis.

I’d love for you to share one of your actions with me…we’re on this journey together.

No, the Climate Isn't in Crisis

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 24 Oct 2022 13:59:10 GMT

“We cannot continue to pollute the atmosphere, poison the ocean and exhaust the land. There isn’t any more available.”

Stephen Hawking

Physicist & Author

_____________________________

We are.

Our climate is changing. It’s everchanging. It’s changed over the history of the Earth, with warmer and colder periods. That’s not anything you don’t already know and it’s not anything people disagree on.

On the other hand, people disagree on why. I’ve heard my friends on both sides of this disagreement. Some talk about the greenhouse gases and data from human activity. Others talk about an Earth that has periods of climate change, regardless of what we humans do.

What if we looked at the Earth in a different way? What if we focused on thinking of the Earth as our homes and what we could do to make our home cleaner and keep it clean? Would any of us disagree that a home filled with cigarette smoke, trash that accumulates, an HVAC system that never gets upgraded, and dirtier water that comes out of the taps isn’t healthy or sustainable? What if we focused less on what we don’t agree on and more on what we do agree on — like gradually making our Earth home a better place.

The real crisis isn’t the climate. The real crisis is that we don’t agree on our “why” for our world — we don't agree on the vision for our planet. Can we agree that having one vision of a better, cleaner world is a good thing?

When I coach on what finding our “why” really means, I share what I call the W.H.Y. acronym, with “W” being “what” we really want.

That’s where our crisis is. Our leaders are more focused on the “what” being winning a debate. Our leaders are focused on the “what” being an answer that is right one for gaining or keeping power. Our leaders are more focused on the “what” being what divides us rather than what unites us, because that division keeps them in power.

What if we refocused the climate question on something we all want — gradually cleaner neighborhoods, cleaner cities, and a cleaner world?

To do that, we need to solve our leadership crisis. But what can we do to change our focus to agreeing on our “what” -- our v ision?

While seemingly cliche, we can start to shift our focus by consistently dedicating ourselves to growth mindset. Click here for a “Quick Take” from a recent Leadership Circle training where I shared that a growth mindset is one of the key practices of leadership, what it really means and what it really looks like.

Sometimes it's easier to recognize what a growth mindset doesn’t look like. While I’m a very curious person, if you’re anything like me, sometimes I find myself judging others, rather than getting curious and finding common ground. In the “Quick Take” video above I share how I recently caught myself judging something.

The next time you start to judge someone, consider coming from a different mindset. What are they really trying to say? What can I learn from what they are saying? How can I shift my “what” to include them in the conversation, keep the conversation going, and really lead by finding common ground?

If we solve our leadership crisis, we'll solve our climate crisis, and so many other crises we're all facing.

Here’s to that leadership journey.

Like Iranians and Ukrainians, are you in harm's way?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 17 Oct 2022 21:25:43 GMT

“No panic. We're strong. We're ready for anything."

- Volodymyr Zelensky, President of Ukraine

__________________________

Would you put yourself in harm’s way for what you need and believe?

Sometimes it seems like the world is burning — that crises are all around us. In Iran, protests erupted over the death of Mahsa Amini, 22, who died in hospital following her arrest by the Tehran morality police who enforce the strict dress rules on women. In Russia, widespread protests started when President Putin announced plans to draft 300,000 men to fight in Ukraine. And in Ukraine, the country is literally burning, since Russia invaded early in 2022.

Iran, Russia and Ukraine offer us a perspective on crises. We’re really lucky — don’t need to put ourselves in harm’s way. Or do we?

Last week when we talked about Hurricane Ian, I shared with you that storms – crises – can look like a lot of things. A big drop in business. A job loss. The sudden illness or death of a family member. A traumatic injury. A pandemic. A hurricane. Whether you’re leading your business or you’re leading your family, storms happen.

Crisis experts know that storms take a toll on us that involve significant change, high levels of uncertainty and complexity. When we understand these patterns, we learn lessons for leading ourselves and our loved ones through a crisis. One of the “3 Lessons of Crisis Leadership” I shared last week was…

#3 – The time to plan and practice for a storm is well before the storm.

And the only way you can practice for a crisis is to put yourself in harm’s way.

You don’t need to put yourself at significant risk to practice for a crisis. Start by thinking about the confidence you’ve built in past storms, and how you would bring that power to face and overcome the upcoming storms you’ll face. Then think about the “holes” you have in your business and in your life.

What if something were to happen to you, your team or your family? What if your/their finances were to take a hit? What if you or they experienced sudden, pronounced anxiety or depression? What if you were to experience a traumatic health event or a natural disaster?

Imagine the crises others face and ask, “what would I have to do if…?” Ask “who can help me?” Who will be your “team” in helping you face the storm?

Then stress test your plan and tactics. Talk with your team and your family on what you could and would do. When a “mini-crisis” happens, test yourself — can you bring that empowering mindset and right tactics to that mini-crisis? What were the holes you discovered in your response? How can you fill the gaps?

Here’s a quick exercise from a recent Leadership Circle training on how to identify your “H.O.W.” and practice crisis leadership.

Whether it’s recession, the loss of a loved one, a long illness or a business shake-up, you know that a storm’s ahead.

It’s not that a crisis is coming — one always is. It’s the planning and the preparation that you’re doing right now to survive if not thrive in the storm.

Could you handle Hurricane Ian?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Sun, 09 Oct 2022 19:07:11 GMT

“The cord and the robe ties I used to tie us together. Thank god for protecting me and my babies."

- Jessica Willett

photo via facebook.com/jwillett0219

____________________________

Could You Handle Hurricane Ian?

Or Just a Little Rain?

Hurricane Ian was apocalyptic.

We’ve seen a lot of powerful, destructive storms hit the U.S. What makes these kinds of storms incredible are both how the storms surprise us and their ability to bring out the best in all of us.

I remember the story of Jessica Willett, a mother of two and survivor of the historic flooding that hit eastern Kentucky in August.

With floodwaters so fast and strong that they were moving houses, Willett realized that she wouldn’t be able to walk through the waters with her two children. To keep her family together and prevent them from being washed away, Willett looked around her home to see what she could use.

"I thought of the next best thing to a rope, which was a vacuum cord. So, I cut it in half and tied us together." For Willett, using the vacuum cord to tie herself to her children was a way to save them — or if she were to fail, to ensure that her family was found together.

My heart breaks for the people who lose their lives in these storms, who lose loved ones, and who lose their businesses and their homes. My heart is also inspired by the stories of survival, of people really leaning in as they face the eye of the storm.

It’s in storms like Hurricane Ian and like the one Jessica Willett faced with her family — it’s in the rising waters and whirlwinds we face — that we can find 3 critical leadership lessons.

#1 — A storm can shift and hit you head on.

#2 — A storm will test your resilience, no matter how prepared you are.

#3 — The time to plan and practice for a storm is well before the storm.

A big drop in business. A job loss. The sudden illness or death of a family member. A traumatic injury. A pandemic. A hurricane. All these are storms — literally or figuratively. Whether you’re leading your business or you’re leading your family, storms happen. We can’t predict when or where they will hit with much accuracy — we’ll usually get only a few days or a few moments' notice.

But we can predict with 100% certainty that we will face serious storms in our lives.

What are you doing to prepare for a storm? No matter where you are, it’s not too late to plan and practice for the next storm. The time to prepare for the storm is not when the storm is on the horizon.

What does that preparation look like? Here are my “ 3 Practices of Crisis Leadership ”:

(1) Practice being your leader-self

(2) Practice being a leader-preparer

(3) Practice being a leader-defender

What are you doing to build your foundation as a leader? To be the best leader, think about growing “leader-self” habits, from collaboration to decisiveness, so you can face the storm with strength.

What are you doing to prepare yourself, your family, your finances and your fitness to not just survive but thrive in a storm? Think about challenging your mind with role-playing games, consistently setting 10%, 5% or even 1% of your earnings aside for emergencies, and pushing your body just a bit beyond its comfort zone.

And finally, what are you doing to practice the fight you'll face with both the enemy outside and the enemy within? Think about the confidence you’ve built in past storms, and how you would bring that power to face the upcoming storm. Here's a " Quick Take" I shared with my Leadership Circle on how you can think about fighting the enemy within .

And when you face the storm, please reach out. We don’t always have to face our storms alone.

"When the road gets dark, and you can no longer see..."

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 03 Oct 2022 14:16:37 GMT

“I will catch you, I will catch your fall, Just have a little faith in me."

- John Haitt

______________________________

"Have a Little Faith in Me."

Whether it’s John Haitt who wrote “Have a Little Faith in Me,” or Joe Cocker or Bon Jovi who covered it, I love the simple but deep yearning their voices bring to this song. The road gets dark for a lot of us, right? The voices bring a unique perspective to what they sing.

And what I've learned in coaching is that most of us are facing some darkness in our lives.

Where does the darkness come from? Usually it comes from things that happen to us in our lives. Or at least we think it does. Because when we face our darkness, it comes from us facing something that happened that we didn’t expect (in our past) or that we're not expecting (in our present).

But our darkness really comes from not knowing where we are or what we want in our lives.

If we really know where we are or what we want in our lives, when we hit a road bump, big or small, we know it's just that -- a bump. Bumps are to be expected. There is no such thing as a perfectly smooth or straight road.

When we don't know what we want in our lives — or where we are relative to our life plans — we face the darkness. We’re adrift, seemingly alone, in the dark waters at night.

While I’ve had good successes this year, I’ve also faced a relationship break-up and a downturn in one of my businesses this year. That means that in several domains of my life — family, finances, feelings and focus — I've been facing a dark road.

And yet what brings me back is being clear and going back to what I really want in my life and the small “domino” actions I need to take to get there. Here’s a “Quick Take” I shared with my Leadership Circle on how you can “shrink” the domino actions in your life.

So while the road is dark, I can see. I also have the great “who” in my life that help me have faith and knock over the right dominos.

Wherever you are, whatever dark road you’re facing, know that as John Haitt sings, “time is our friend.” The road will reveal itself, especially if you really think about what you want and the small domino actions you can do to get there. I know…I’ve been there too.

“Have a little faith.” Have a little faith in you.

Elton John's got a cold heart?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Tue, 27 Sep 2022 12:17:11 GMT

“You should never take more than you can give."

- Elton John

photo by Ernst Vikne

_____________________________

Yes, and a Cold Heart Will Grow.

There's a cold, cold heart out there.

Why? Because Sir Elton John is on tour right now, and if you haven’t yet heard “Cold Heart,” this “self-sampling” duet with mezzo-soprano Dua Lipa is a beautiful mixture of several Elton John songs together with Dua Lipa’s sultry accompaniment.

You won’t find many Gen Z rocking to Billy Joel or The Rolling Stones in 2022. But Elton John has found a way to reintroduce his music to a whole new generation.

Sampling — taking a piece of a song and incorporating it into another, often newer song — is a common, effective and legal way for a musical artist to incorporate another artist’s music.

But “self-sampling” — an artist sampling with their own music — is rare, especially among rock artists. Elton John, 75 years young, made a No. 1 hit in 2021 by self-sampling three different older songs he wrote and sang into a new “Cold Heart" song, working with award-winning singer Dua Lipa to give it a youthful, sexy vibe. He currently has another hit “Hold Me Closer” in collaboration with Brittany Spears, sampling his 1971 single “Tiny Dancer.”

What does Elton John’s story have to do with leadership, you might ask?

Leadership is about influence. Whether we’re leading ourselves or others, we must use our influence to get to where we want to go — as entrepreneurs or intrapreneurs, in leading our families, as community organizers, or as world leaders. And if you’re not growing your influence, you’re very likely stuck in connecting with and helping the people you really care about.

How do we influence others? We use our vehicles of success – the personal attributes we have and successes we’ve had – to lead others to do something in their lives. It could be as simple as buying a song, or as profound as changing how people approach their work and lives. Elton John’s big vehicle of success is his iconic music.

Are your vehicles of success working for you? And what do you do if, like Elton John, your old vehicle isn’t really growing your influence like it used to?

You need to grow your strategy.

What Elton John is doing with self-sampling is what I call a “wide” growth strategy. He’s growing new, wider audiences by partnering with younger artists and reinventing some of his past music.

Are you stuck with a strategy that isn’t working? Here’s a “Quick Take” I shared with my Leadership Circle on “3 Growth Strategy Options” you can think about when it comes to reinventing your current strategies.

Elton John has had quite a life. Beyond 31 albums and an incredible career as a songwriter and entertainer, he’s been a leader in fundraising to fight the HIV/AIDS since the late 1980s and has been in a loving partnership, marriage, and family since 1993. Success leaves clues, and Elton John’s life, including what he’s doing right now with his self-sampling work, shows someone who is always growing.

In "Cold Heart," Elton sings “Some things lookin’ better…just passin’ through.” Some things you see when you’re passing through life, you can leave behind. Or you can grow them.

Here's to leaving what you don't want behind…and growing your life into what you really want.

God save the Queen's Family

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 19 Sep 2022 16:48:24 GMT

“You need to learn to stand up for yourself and what you believe and sometimes, pardon my language, kick some ass."

- Queen Elizabeth II

photo by Royal Navy

_________________________

I’m sure you know Queen Elizabeth II died recently.

And if you’re curious on why the British monarchy could lose leadership and influence in the years ahead, you only have to look at a recent decision by the late Queen, and a couple of decisions made by newly crowned King Charles III and the royal family on funeral preparations for the Queen.

The royal family, like many leaders, teams and companies, have a vision. The British monarchy officially recognizes “success and excellence” and supports the “ideal of voluntary service" as what's most important.

Earlier this year, Queen Elizabeth II stripped Prince Andrew, who served in the brief Falkland’s War, of his honorary military titles, HRH status and royal patronages. After an interview with the BBC about his friendship with sexual predator Jeffrey Weinstein, followed by a civil sexual assault case brought by a young woman, the Queen clearly saw Andrew did not represent the monarchy’s vision and values.

Even though she didn’t have to have to make that decision, the Queen did the right thing — as a leader.

Fast forward to the preparations for the Queen’s funeral. Royal custom has it that only working members of the royalty can wear military uniforms.

Despite his behavior and titles being stripped, Andrew received royal permission to wear his military uniform “as a special mark of respect".

Contrast that to Prince Harry. Harry served honorably in the British military for a decade, including two tours of Afghanistan, in which he manned the guns of an Apache helicopter. He (and Princess Meghan) famously stepped away from work in the royal family in 2020 to reduce the media spotlight on Meghan and focus on their charitable foundation. Their foundation recently received an award for advocating for Afghan refugees.

After granting Andrew permission to wear his uniform, what accommodation did the royals make for Harry, given his stellar military service, honorable life, and history of contribution?

None. Zero. Zilch. Harry was denied permission to wear his uniform to commemorate the death of his grandmother and the Queen.

In a recent leadership circle workshop , I shared a framework for why we fail as leaders, teams and businesses. One of ways we fail is by not having a real “what” — a compelling vision of what we really want to be.

Many people, teams and companies don’t understand their “what.” Some teams say “we want to be #1” without really explaining what that means or why they exist — to serve their customers or clients. Here’s a “Quick Take” for you where I compare and contrast Xerox and Apple . One company clearly understands their what — one clearly doesn’t.

By rewarding Andrew’s questionable character and denying Harry’s honorable character, the royals clearly aren’t connected with their what — excellence, success and service. Quite the opposite.

We can find stories of dysfunctional leaders, teams and companies all around us. And if we look more closely, we can also find people who are growing into their leader-selves. We can learn a lot from these stories.

After permission for Harry to wear a uniform was denied, Harry’s spokesman said “His decade of military service is not determined by the uniform he wears and we respectfully ask that focus remain on the life and legacy of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II."

Harry is someone clearly connected to his what. Someone who understands his leader-self. Someone who is leading in a clear direction toward what he wants.

Are you clear on your what? And on how you can lead with your what in your business and with your family? If you are, or I can help, I’d love to hear from you.

And whether you like the British monarchy or not, here’s to hoping that Harry’s leadership both saves AND elevates the Queen’s family.

Because all of our families deserve the best.

Should We Act or React

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Tue, 13 Sep 2022 19:17:39 GMT

“Are you going to do something or just stand there and bleed?"

- Wyatt Earp

photo by Superyesito

_____________________________

Are you getting what you really want as a leader? Are you taking the necessary action every day to get what you want in your business and in your life? Or are you stuck in reaction?

I love watching “Tombstone,” a movie loosely based on the history of the American frontier town of Tombstone, Arizona and the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral. I’ve always been fascinated by Doc Holliday. Holliday was a dentist, gambler, gunfighter and friend of lawman Wyatt Earp (and by the way, Val Kilmer’s movie portrayal of Holliday is iconic).

In the movie, Doc Holliday winks at one of the outlaw Cowboys. The outlaw Cowboy draws his pistol to start the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral, and Doc Holliday, Wyatt Earp and Earp’s brothers Virgil and Morgan react to the pistol draw and win the gunfight.

In studying reaction, researchers at the University of Birmingham found that when the study’s “gunslingers” faced off against rival "gunslingers,” the studied gunslingers were on average roughly 10 percent faster when they reacted than when they initiated "shootouts” — roughly 21 milliseconds faster that researchers dubbed "the reactive advantage." Still, while the reactive gunslingers moved faster, they rarely beat the gunslinger who drew a pistol first.

The gunfighters who acted got the shot off first. And if you’re an accurate gunslinger and you draw first, you’ll win the gunfight.

Andrew Welchman, an experimental psychologist at the University of Birmingham, said the reactive advantage “probably wouldn't save you in a Wild West duel because your brain takes around 200 milliseconds to respond to what your opponent is doing.”

Great leaders know when to really move — to act — based on what’s available. Compare that to taking time and gathering more information and resources — reaction. While more information and resources might be better in a perfect world, that can take more time, paralyzing us and taking attention away from the big picture.

As I shared with some of you in my “UpStart” workshop in July, we get often get stuck in reaction in our lives. We’re habitually reacting and responding to emails, calls, texts and the other constant demands on our lives and our time. Is there a better way?

Consider this — it’s better to take “practiced action” toward what you want in your business and in your life than to wait and react, or wait for your action to be perfect.

I hope you’re never in a gunfight. But life has “gunslinger” moments and the research is clear. Prepare for the gunfight, and ACT early to get what you want.

Why Vulnerability Matters

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 05 Sep 2022 18:09:56 GMT

“Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable."

- Dr. Brene Brown

______________________________

The Power of Vulnerability.

“I’m drinking too much.”

One of my very good friends shared with me that she’s been drinking too much for the last 2 years — we can call her Monica. She started to drink too much shortly after a very close family member passed away. Pouring an early evening drink became something that started to happen every day, and eventually continued through the evening.

Monica is exceptional at what she does for work. And she’s an extraordinary woman. Beyond her massive business success and the awards she’s won, she deeply loves her husband and makes a wonderful home for their family. Monica is involved in charity work every day that helps abused and abandoned animals find better lives. This was her life all while she lived with this hole in her heart — a hole that brought her to tears every day for months.

How did she realize she had a drinking problem? She started journaling. The journaling led to greater clarity in her life — it focused her thoughts and her feelings on what was happening in her life and what she really wanted in her life.

Since she started journaling, Monica is drinking less than half of what she was before.

And why did she share her drinking problem with me? “By saying it out loud,” she told me, “to someone who I care about, I’m taking my life back.”

This is the power of being vulnerable.

In this "Quick Take" from a recent training in my Leadership Circle, we talk about why vulnerability really matters.

I never really understood the power of vulnerability until I opened up with my coaches. While I’ve been very successful in many parts of my work and personal lives, I’ve also faced incredible pain — mostly from divorce and failed business partnerships.

Vulnerability feels backwards — sharing where we’re vulnerable is really scary. How can sharing what’s scary help us?

In 2016, when I started to share my wounds with my close friends and coaches at a level I’d never shared before, I started to really understand what happened, including my contribution to my failures. And as a coach, I’ve seen this from the mentoring side — what happens when people reveal their failures, their guilt, and their shame.

When we’re vulnerable — when we share where we feel we’re failing or we’ve failed — these stories no longer have power over us . And when we stop giving our power away to those stories, we become more powerful.

Dr. Brene Brown has studied vulnerability for years. She shares several questions that can help us be more vulnerable, like “where and why do we want to be braver?”

I’d encourage you to think about that. Where and why do you want to be braver? Like Monica, you might write it out, so you can start to make sense of it. Once you’ve explored it with yourself, who can you have the courage to share it with?

It's not Monica's story that's extraordinary but what she’s learning from her story and how she’s growing — not because of her story but in spite of her story.

Vulnerability breaks open the hard ground we all have to walk on. With Monica, she broke open the ground with her courage to be vulnerable. And that’s exactly how our breakthroughs happen.

Here's to your next breakthough.

"How We Can Live a Life Well Lived" -- J.P.'s Leadership Circle "Quick Take" Training

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Thu, 01 Sep 2022 20:03:09 GMT

Your road as an entrepreneur or an intrapreneur is hard. Really hard.

Dr Paul Hokemeyer, a therapist, author and expert in the challenges facing successful families, shared what he faces in his practice working with entrepreneurs.

“Entrepreneurs are trained to ignore the qualitative needs of their well-being measured in meaningful and authentic relationships, overall life satisfaction and happiness,” he says. “The message they have internalised from the field’s most celebrated entrepreneurs is the outdated prescription of 'no pain, no gain' and a pernicious message that success is purely measured in quantitative returns, return on investment and profit.”

In other words, as an entrepreneur or intrapreneur, you’re very likely ignoring you happiness at the expense of you work. The result — serious physical and emotional tolls — comes from that emphasis on the finances/work domain, while the family, faith, fun, and fitness domains of life burn down to their foundations.

That’s why I created the Leadership Circle.

While I’ve been very successful in many parts of my work and personal lives, I’ve also faced incredible pain — from divorce and failed business partnerships to traumatic injury and loss of faith in myself and my world.

In this “Quick Take,” Marsha and I talk about why we should focus on ALL the domains of our lives as we push toward our financial goals. We talk about the real difference it makes to focus on living a life by design — a “life well lived.”

FOR MORE insights and to join us for a free workshop on elevating yourself and your team, visit us at www.breakthroughtodestiny.com.

All you need is a framework and a dream

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 29 Aug 2022 13:41:02 GMT

“You don’t need to be a genius or a visionary, or even a college graduate for that matter. To be successful. you just need a framework and a dream."

- Michael Dell

_______________________________

A Framework and a Dream.

One summer night, Orlando and I sat down at a casual restaurant for dinner to catch up.

Orlando has a special place in my heart when it comes to extraordinary conversations. It may be because Orlando is both incredibly warm and incredibly thoughtful. And it may be because we’ve both worked together and have developed an incredible friendship through the ups and downs of life, whether relationship break-ups or the joy of time with family.

Orlando doesn’t live in my hometown of DC anymore, so when we get together, our conversation drifts from the usual “catch up” type stuff to more thoughtful musings on life.

He asked about my coaching practice, what I was learning and where the practice was headed. I shared with him that my practice was really about developing frameworks for solo and small team entrepreneurs and intrapreneurs to help them “win” in their professional lives without sacrificing wins in the personal and other domains of their lives.

He said he loved the concept of “frameworks” overall. “I look for frameworks to help me in every part of my life, even when what I’m thinking about seems trivial,” he said.

He shared a story of how he had just bought a home. With rents rising in Miami, and with home prices rising at a quick clip, finding a new home wasn’t easy. He is a realtor, so he used the same “framework” that you probably used when you looked for your last home — looking online and watching the what came to market.

But he knew that wasn’t enough, so he started to consider areas within Miami that were a little outside of his search area and that hadn’t shown up online. He started to look around these areas as he drove through, looking at what homes were available and what neighborhoods hadn’t been on his radar. In other words, he changed his framework.

One day as he was driving through these areas, Orlando came upon a “for sale” sign for a new community being planted into a yard on the site of a former golf course. He set up an appointment to learn more about the development and the available floor plans, chose one and made a downpayment on a new home.

When we think about a “framework,” we usually think about something that’s very high level — like policies and procedures in our work. Frameworks usually include ways that we share goals and strategies, serve our clients and work with our teammates.

But we really have frameworks for just about everything we do in our lives, from what we do when we get up in the morning — brush our teeth, make coffee, take a shower, etc. — to how we interact with our families — say goodbye, schedule meal and time with the family, etc.

What made my conversation with Orlando extraordinary was sharing depth and new insight on something “trivial” — in this case how we take for granted that we “always” do something a certain way.

What if we regularly looked at how we “always” do something to make it a little better? What if we learned about other ways to do it? What if we applied a new framework?

What dreams could come true with a new way of looking at things?

As Orlando shared, once he hears about a new way of approaching something, he likes to walk through the new framework several times to see how it works and fits.

As we wrap up summer, I’d encourage you to think about just that. How could you approach what you normally do just a little differently, for the better?

You might just like the change you see.

"Why Be Your Best?" -- J.P.'s Leadership Circle "Quick Take" Training

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Thu, 25 Aug 2022 15:15:22 GMT

"Why Be Your Best?" -- J.P.'s Leadership Circle "Quick Take" Training

Last week I shared with you that the Harris Poll recently found that Americans are more stressed than at anytime since the poll started in the early 2000s.

And last week we talked about being our best selves…

So if we’re totally stressed out, how can we really be our best selves?

Being your best actually starts with asking “why should I be my best self." And here's a “Quick Take” video from our Leadership Circle training on “Being Your Best” and one of the three reasons why it's important.

We’re either moving toward being our best selves or away from being our best selves. One of the false stories in life is that we can stay in one place, maintaining the status quo.

Imagine this. Standing up. Imagine standing in one place and not moving, indefinitely. Impossible, right?

I remember watching the CBS show, Survivor, where a regular challenge on the show was for one of the contestants to be the last person standing on a log. The last person standing would win the immunity idol and would be safe from being voted off the island (and the show).

Why should you be your best self? We should drive toward being our best selves because if we don’t, we’re moving away from being our best selves — we're falling off the log. It’s impossible for us to stay perfectly still in one place in any part of our lives.

One of the things I pay attention to when I’m coaching and sharing principles with you is to make sure that what I’m coaching and training is generally rooted in science.

In 2005, several prominent business professors published the Reflected Best Self Exercise (RBSE). The idea behind the RBSE was to create a framework for receiving positive affirmation as a way to grow, especially when it comes to moments where we are our best.

Since 2005, thousands of people in corporate trainings, team building and leadership programs have used the RBSE. It’s been proven to foster healthy emotions, increase personal resourcefulness, strengthen the quality of relationships and increase job satisfaction.

Put another way, if you drive toward being your best self, you’ll be happier in life. And you’ll drive away the enemy within — that voice in your head that says that you shouldn’t or can’t drive to be your best self every day, or be happy.

In my Leadership Circle, we integrate the framework and practice the lessons of being our best selves in a very similar way to the Reflected Best Self Exercise…

We pay attention to the positive feedback we receive and we ask questions to better understand that positive feedback. And we study our successes. In positive feedback and studying our successes, we discover our true superpowers — which bring us closer to being our best selves.

We also practice being our best selves. In our trainings and worksheets, we focus on what being our best selves really means and the “domino” actions to drive toward that. And we pay it forward…we're a community of like-minded people where the positive feedback loop becomes the norm.

I’d love for you to join our Leadership Circle. And until then, I hope you'll think about and share this weekly memo and watch our video "quick takes." Because however you decide to continue your journey, if you do the work, you will be your best self.

FOR MORE insights and to join us for a free workshop on elevating yourself and your team, visit us at www.breakthroughtodestiny.com.

#thebest #beingthebest #cbssurvivor #breakthroughtodestiny

Who do you need to be?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 22 Aug 2022 14:12:37 GMT

“It's not what you look at the matters, it's what you see."

- Henry David Thoreau

___________________________

You can’t have it.

Let me take that back. You can have it, but you can’t have it without seeing yourself having it.

Think about it. Think about something big — really big — that you got. Think about all the things, big and small, you did to get it. The reason you were able to get it is because you saw yourself having it. You had a deep enough desire to really envision yourself with it.

What if, instead of just seeing yourself having it, you spent time really imagining yourself who you will be a month from now or a year from now with it in your life? In other words, think about visualizing backwards, looking back at your current self and saying “you got this.”

Oprah Winfrey was born poor in rural Mississippi. She was molested as a child and a teen — and she became pregnant at 14. She lost the baby as an infant.

That’s not where her story ends. She talks about how she created her visions and looked at herself “backwards” as already being the person with that. “Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life,” she said, “because you become what you believe.”

I shattered my kneecap when I was 22 years old. After a marathon surgery, several days on 30mg of morphine and several weeks in a cast and fitted with a restricted brace, I remember my doctor saying that I would ever be a competitive athlete again. But that’s not where my story ends. I saw myself as an athlete.

Since then, I’ve been a competitive 10k runner, biathlete, cyclist and adventure racer.

I encourage you to try it. Imagine yourself looking back at the current you with that relationship, that business, that confidence, that vacation, that body, that mindset you really want as if you have it right now in your life.

Rather than ask the question “what do I need to do,” you might think about the question “who will I be” and visualize being that person looking backwards to today.

Ultimately, to become your vision, you will need to drive and dedicate yourself to the many little actions and changes that you will need to make to match your future self. Before you are ready to take those steps, I encourage you to become your future self in your mind.

I’m willing to bet that you’ll like what you see.

Why be your best?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Tue, 16 Aug 2022 19:36:44 GMT

“I am not what happened to me,

I am who I choose to become."

- Carl Jung

_______________________

Last week I shared with you that the Harris Poll recently found that Americans are more stressed than at anytime since the poll started in the early 2000s.

And last week we talked about being our best selves…

So if we’re totally stressed out, how can we really be our best selves?

I shared with you the 3 questions (in 3 minutes) to being your best, but actually being your best starts with asking “why should I be my best self." (I invite you to watch the Quick Take video.)

We’re either moving toward being our best selves or away from being our best selves. One of the false stories in life is that we can stay in one place, maintaining the status quo.

Imagine this. Standing up. Imagine standing in one place and not moving, indefinitely. Impossible, right?

Why should you be your best self? We should drive toward being our best selves because if we don’t, we’re moving away from being our best selves — we're falling off the log. It’s impossible for us to stay perfectly still in one place in any part of our lives.

One of the things I pay attention to when I’m coaching and sharing principles with you is to make sure that what I’m coaching and training is generally rooted in science.

Put another way, if you drive toward being your best self, you’ll be happier in life. And you’ll drive away the enemy within — that voice in your head that says that you shouldn’t or can’t drive to be your best self every day, or be happy.

In my Leadership Circle, we integrate the framework and practice the lessons of being our best selves in a very similar way to the Reflected Best Self Exercise…

What Being the Best Looks Like, in 3 Minutes...

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 08 Aug 2022 16:52:55 GMT

“The goal is not to be better than the other man,

but your previous self."

- The Dalai Lama

____________________

A lot of people — individually, as a part of a team or as part of a company — set a goal to be the best.

But what does being the best really mean? Is there one definition? Or do we all measure the “best” differently?

And what do we need to do to be the best?

When my team and I help our clients in my real estate business, being the “best” means helping our clients make the best decisions for themselves — buying their “top” home, selling for the highest possible price under the best terms for them, and investing for the best balance of risk vs return based on their financial goals.

When I asked my brother-in-law Pablo what makes for being the best father, he shared that it’s to “Always ask questions and listen. Always love unconditionally.” (Here's a short "quick take" video from that recent Leadership Circle training on being our best.)

When I asked Okinyi, my old wellness company partner, how he defined the "best" fitness, he said that it’s “having the physical and mental ability to do the activities that you want to do when you want to do them.”

There’s a pattern here I also see in coaching. When I'm talking with someone about being their best, the conversation is really about what the best relationship, the best business, the greatest self belief, the most fun, the best health and wellness means to them .

So if being the best is subjective, how do we know we’re on the right track to being our best? Being the best is about empowering ourselves — or empowering those we lead — to move toward our personal visions of "the best."

I see 3 keys to that empowerment. Desire. Drive. Dedication.

Desire is vision. Without being clear on where we want to go, we can’t be empowered or empower others. Here’s a quick exercise …start by taking just 60 seconds right now to write down a vision of what in means to you to be your best in one area of your life.

Drive is the movement that leads us — or others — to where we want to go. It’s action. Take the next 60 seconds and write down a series of actions — what I call the dominoes — you will knock over to achieve your vision.

Dedication is the consistency you bring to your commitments. As I’ve shared with you in the past, success comes gradually, not suddenly, because of great habits. Here's one more question to answer...take 60 seconds and write a set of habits you will bring to your day to complete those actions.

In j ust 3 minutes, you now know what your best is, what it looks like, what you need to do to be the best and who you need to be.

I’ve used this simple framework with my teams. I’ve used it when people ask me for advice. I’ve even used it with my kids. Above all, I've used it myself. The framework is just 3 questions and only takes 3 minutes. You don’t even need to share that it’s a formal framework. Just answer — or ask. As Pablo says, “ask and listen."

Here’s to you being your best — however you define that!

Lean on me, when you're not strong...

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 08 Aug 2022 16:46:56 GMT

“And I'll be your friend.

I'll help you carry on...

For it won't be long

Till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on."

- Bill Withers, "Lean on Me"

_______________________

“Lean on me.”

What a beautiful expression. When Bill Withers wrote the song, he was going much deeper than the words might sound. “The more substantial kind of love,” he said in a 2006 interview, “is when you want to touch people and care for them when they’re at their worst.”

When we need a hand, we all need someone to lean on.

June marked a new peak. And not a good one. Stress levels as measured by the Harris Poll peaked to an all time high in March.

In June, we broke that all time high. We are super stressed out.

How do we get to the other side of that? Pandemic had us thinking that the path forward was alone, quarantined, isolated. Trendsetters even say we’re going to keep moving in that direction. We’ll all move to the country, work from home, drive our lives through video calls, and cocooning with the smallest of groups watching Netflix.

That’s not the answer.

When we are stressed, we are one person stuck inside our heads and our own version of the world. We’re stuck inside our heads thinking about all the external factors that lead us to suffer. Suffering isn't meant to be a permanent place. It's meant to drive us to get to the other side.

To get to the other side, we need each other . We need our teams to share our load. We need our families to share our load. Sometimes we need to lead others by sharing their load.

That’s leaning. Leaning in as leaders. Leaning on when we need to be lifted. Maybe we should change the words.

Just lean.

The next steps? Where in your life do you need a lift? Who can you lean on? How can you reach out to them?

In this circle of life, who can lean on you? And do they know that they can lean on you? What would it mean to them if you reached out and shared with them that you care about them and their load? What would it do if you said that they could always lean on you?

Here’s to sharing the load. And if I can help you with your load, please reach out.

What do you really, truly believe?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 18 Jul 2022 17:48:29 GMT

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right.”

- Henry Ford

___________________

We regularly and routinely underestimate the power of our beliefs. When we believe we can do great things, we lead our lives toward those greater things. And when we lie, cheat and steal, those too are all about our beliefs.

Lies. We all lie. If you don’t think you lie regularly, you’re lying to yourself right now. :) I’m not talking all about big lies — I’m talking about the little lies. The answer you give to “how do I look” or the answer you ask someone to say that is “tell her I’m not here.” What does the accumulation of all these lies do to our integrity?

Cheating. We might cheat on something or someone else…we might take a shortcut or break a commitment. What happens when the “easy road” becomes a regular part of our lives?

Stealing. Ouch. No, that office pen we take home isn’t ours. How about that extra food we eat? Aren’t we really stealing from ourselves — from what we really want for our health and wellness?

Take Vladimir Putin’s beliefs. He says neo-Nazis in Ukraine were committing genocide on other Ukrainians – a lie. His claim has no evidence (let alone the genocide committed by Russians with the invasion). Putin cheating Ukrainians — even his own Russian people — of liberty is unconscionable. A recent estimate counts over 1,000,000 Ukrainians forcibly relocated to Russia by Russian forces. Russia’s stealing of Ukrainian food, destined for some the world’s hungriest people, may be one of the largest crimes against humanity this war will see.

Putin is dying. As is Russia. Beliefs that espouse lies, cheating and stealing eventually rot a person, a community, or a country to the core.

On the other side we have Volodymyr Zelensky. What a contrast to Putin.

Zelensky also shows the power of our beliefs, particularly when we believe both in what we ourselves can do while also believing in something greater than ourselves.

Zelensky has shown a penchant for telling the truth — perhaps the harsh, undiplomatic truth. Of what the Russians were doing. Of what the West was not doing.

Rather than cheat his people with the empty words of a politician, he donned the clothing of a man at war, and against the wishes of his security detail, walks the streets of Kyiv, meeting with his fellow Ukrainians, sharing his vision over and over, inspiring people to act.

He gives. His strength, his energy, and his caring. All because of the power of his beliefs.

What are you doing to build empowering beliefs?

I recently shared my “UpStart Your Life” workshop with some of you (and I missed those of you who were unable to join). I shared the “3 Rules to UpStart Your Life” and Rule #1 was to “Build Your Belief.”

It can be hard, especially in the world today, to see that success in all the domains of our lives is within our grasp. It’s in the mindset behind our past successes that we find clues on what our mindset needs to be when we’re pushing for great happiness – for what we really want.

If you missed “UpStart,” click here for the video where we talk about Rule #1. UpStart dives much deeper than we can go in this writing, but If I break down Rule #1 – and Step #1 of the “3 Steps to UpStart Your Life” to their simplest…

Visualize your beliefs and your outcomes.

This visualization isn’t a yearly practice. Or even a quarterly practice. This is a daily practice . Zelensky and the Ukrainian resistance aren’t having success against Russia, arguably the 2nd or 3rd most powerful military in the world, by having fleeting beliefs.

Just yesterday, Zelensky said he and his country need to have “emotional sovereignty” so they don’t rely on propaganda from the Russians. What he’s talking about is building empowering beliefs.

That’s what we’re doing in our Leadership Circle every week. If you’re interested in joining us, I’d love to have you. And if I don’t see you, I hope you will find some time in your journey to revisit, reset and rebuild your beliefs.

What is a Summer Sunday?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Sun, 10 Jul 2022 23:18:17 GMT

“ The heat of autumn is different from the heat of summer. One ripens apples, the other turns them to cider. ”

- Jane Hirshfield

__________________________

What is a summer Sunday all about?

We might think of Sunday like we think of winter – a time of rest and recovery for what’s ahead.

But a good farmer doesn’t look at summer Sundays that way. Summer is a time for monitoring crops, controlling for weeds and managing pests. It’s a time for selectively fertilizing to make sure the Fall harvest will be plentiful.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t rest and recover on a Sunday. We all need rest and recovery. But as we’re now over halfway through the year, I’d encourage you to ask yourself and answer one question.

Will your final months of 2022 – your Fall harvest – take you big steps toward the extraordinary life that you want?

If the answer is yes, you’re on the right track. Like a good farmer, you’re got a clear picture of what you want to harvest, what steps you need to take to keep growing your crops, and you’re minding your fields this summer.

If your answer is no, I’d like to invite you to join me for a free, small group workshop called UpStart this Thursday, July 14 at 5:30pm ET.

It’s not too late to make 2022 the start of something extraordinary, whether at work or with your family. If you’re reading this, I know you tilled your fields and planted some crops early in 2022. And maybe some weeds or pests have taken root in the fields. Maybe the fields need some fertilizer to keep growing.

UpStart is just that. We’ll discuss the "3 Rules of Gradually and Suddenly," so you can stack small wins in the weeks and months ahead. We’ll also talk about the "3 Steps to UpStart Your Life," so you can be sure that by the end of 2022, you’re breaking through to what you want in the many domains of your life.

Don’t regret that you left your fields of dreams to just live with what life brought your way. There’s a better way, for you, your team and your family.

Wherever you are on your journey, I hope you’ll join us for UpStart .

Halfway There? Or Halfway Where?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Sun, 03 Jul 2022 13:19:27 GMT

“In boxing, if you think you will lose, you're already halfway there.”

- Lennox Lewis

__________________

Halfway There? Or Halfway Where?

We're in July, which means we're halfway there. Or are we really halfway where?

I’m curious. Back in January, what did you think about for the year ahead?

Some folks I know use January to set their sights on something better — often better in many of the domains of their lives.

Some folks don’t like the idea of setting their sights on something specific and don’t set goals at all. Why? Because if we don’t set a goal or goals, we won’t be disappointed when we don’t hit them, right?

Not so much.

It's impossible for us to stay in one place in our lives. We're either moving forward or backward. Try any short experiment...stand on one leg in one place, on two legs in one place, even sitting in one place. It's impossible for us to stay perfectly still and settled.

So to with our lives. We’re either deepening our relationships or we’re moving apart. We’re either working on our health and wellness or we’re wasting away. We’re either growing our wealth or spending it away. We’re either discovering and rediscovering the love and joy in our lives and growing our faith in our larger world, or we’re allowing “bad news” to dominate our world view and waiting for happiness to just show up.

I’m blessed to have owned several businesses — two being in fitness and in real estate. In the fitness business, I was passionate about being a part of people's journeys pushing their strength well into their 70s, 80s and 90s. In real estate, I’ve been excited to help people move into their dream homes and live adventurous lives well into their 70s, 80s and 90s.

I think of Les and Martha, who sold their Baltimore home and bought their new DC home during the pandemic. They are now finishing renovating their Woodley Park home, Martha is still loving her work, and Les still pushing his fitness and hustling on the tennis court. They are out and about enjoying all their new DC home and life has to offer.

I’ve also seen people skip the gym. These are many of the same people who I help into “one-level living” and sedentary lives. Sometimes I’m helping their sons and daughters sell their homes and moving them into long term care. Earlier than they should be.

We’re halfway through the year. What will your second half look like? Would you like to reach for something better?

I'm inviting you to join me for this coming Thursday for "UpStart 2022. " I’ll lead a small group though a discussion of what life could really look like at the end of the year.

No, it’s not about sudden, overnight change. As my coaching members know, what we dive into are small, gradual, incremental changes, over time. These are the changes that lead you to “suddenly” find yourself at that better place. With your focus . With your finances. And with your family and relationships. Knocking over one domino at a time.

Please join me on Thursday. It’s free, it will be small, and it will lead you to consider at least one change that will really impact the rest of your year. And this next 6 months is the start of the rest of your life.

Cheers,

J.P.

Obligation vs. Opportunity

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Mon, 27 Jun 2022 12:46:14 GMT

“Most people miss Opportunity because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”

- Thomas A. Edison

_________________

Last week one of my coaching members shared a problem he was having with his young company. He wasn’t very motivated to do the day-in-and-day-out business development he really needed to do to grow his business.

I asked him where he was stuck. He said that he hated having the obligation to sell his company’s services. He’d had a lot of success in past just “going with the flow” – doing what felt right at the time – but that his business hadn’t grown much doing that over the last year.

We all tend to get hung up in things we look at as obligations, in our work lives and in our personal lives. Why?

We confuse obligations and opportunities.

If you’re reading this, I know you’re really good at what you do, or that you represent some goods and services that can really make a difference. You’re probably at or very close to the top of your field and what you offer is probably pretty incredible. (You wouldn’t be reading this if you weren’t an achiever.)

Selling what you’re really good at isn’t an obligation. Sure, you must do it to make money. But isn’t selling really an opportunity to help someone get closer to what they want, with your help? Would that person you’re selling to be better helped by going with a competitor? No way!

Opportunities are everywhere – at work and at home. When we get home, if we’re parents, we might feel an obligation to keep our children on the right life path. But is that really our obligation? Or is it an opportunity to make our families stronger and our world a better place by helping our children understand how to make the best choices for themselves and those they love?

Did you skip a workout recently? Did it feel like an obligation…something you had to check off the list? Or are these workouts really opportunities to keep our bodies – the only bodies we get – at their very best, taking us into our later years with the energy and vitality we really want.

I’m not saying that you should say “yes” to everything. We can’t do everything, and if we try to do everything, we’re not really getting closer to the things that are the most important things in our lives.

What I’m suggesting is that we rewrite our stories to give what we really want the most powerful meanings possible. If we focus not on what’s holding us back but instead at the opportunity to push through to the places we think we can't get to, we primed for the breakthrough to what are our true destinies.

As we continue on this journey together, I hope we can all take a fresh look at our obligations. We can find some incredible opportunities on the other side.

Cheers,

J.P.

Doing Nothing Is Doing Something

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Thu, 23 Jun 2022 17:12:42 GMT

“Every now and then, quite unintentionally, someone taught you something about yourself.”

- Ian McEwan

_______________________

Last week, I shared with you that I need some down time. Wow, burn out had really set in.

By the end of the week, after spending quite a bit of time doing nothing, I felt much better.

“Really J.P.? Why should I care?” Unless reruns of HBO’s Game of Thrones or researching a new Harley motorcycle is your thing, me doing a lot of nothing may seem ridiculous to talk about.

But me doing nothing — doing what felt like play to me — was, in fact, doing something.

There’s a paradox to doing nothing. It’s impossible to do nothing, right? If you don’t think so, try doing nothing. Even if we think we're doing absolutely nothing, we're doing something…like breathing, thinking, sleeping, etc.

What we’re really doing when we are doing “nothing” is we’re doing something that we don’t think is important. A friend asks, “what are you doing?” And we say “nothing.” We’re not really doing nothing. We’re just doing something we don’t think is important enough to talk about — even to ourselves.

What if that’s not really the right way to think about “nothing?”

When my family would take a trip and my brother, sister and I asked where we were going, my father liked to say “we’ll see where the car takes us.”

What if we just see where the car takes us? What if doing nothing is actually making a good decision to restore our faith in ourselves, by giving us the space we need to restore our reserves? What if doing nothing really means having fun , by giving ourselves the joy of just being? What if doing nothing is actually acknowledging our feelings , by allowing us the retreat we need to find the sanctuary for our souls?

Of course, none of those things are doing nothing.

So if doing nothing is doing something, should we renegotiate how we look at setting our goals?

I’m finding that doing nothing in one or more of the domains of my life is actually knocking over dominos — just not the ones I thought I “should” knock over. Now I’m reshaping my goals to reflect what I did when I did “nothing” — kind of reverse engineering what I want just by allowing myself more time to just be.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t have goals — quite the opposite. I’m saying that we can get clarity around what we want both by being intentional and knocking dominos over and by being unintentional and paying attention to what dominos we knock over “by chance.”

How about giving it a try? How can you spend a chunk of time during the week and do nothing? Then, take note of what doing nothing did for you. What dominos did you knock over? How can those dominos help you get more of what you want in life, or maybe just clarity around what you really want?

Here’s to being on that journey with you..leading ourselves to our best lives. I hope this is yet another way you'll find leadership is built.

Cheers,

J.P.

Facing the Challenge with Why

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Sun, 12 Jun 2022 21:14:22 GMT

“Some men see things as they are, and say why. I dream of things that never were, and say why not.”

- Robert Kennedy

____________________

I didn’t lead myself very well this week.

I woke up tired almost every day this week. That even though I’ve fallen asleep relatively quickly and slept for 7-8 hours a night.

What gives?

I know some of you have trouble sleeping. Sometimes for long stretches. Sleep can be elusive for about 70 million Americans.

To be the best leaders, we have to lead ourselves first. To lead ourselves best, we need to be our best selves.

So rather than just accept that I wasn’t sleeping well, I dove into a “5 Why” exercise.

Sakichi Toyoda, the Japanese industrialist, inventor, and founder of Toyota Industries, developed the “5 Whys” technique in the 1930s. The method is simple. When a problem occurs, you drill down to its root cause by asking "Why?" five times. Then, when a countermeasure – or counterstory – becomes apparent, you act on it to stop it from happening again. A quick solution might only deal with a symptom and not the underlying problem.

So why haven’t I been sleeping well? I’ve been dreaming more vividly than normal. Why have I been dreaming vividly? My brain has been more active during sleep. Too active. Why has my brain been too active? I’ve been driving myself hard toward new goals across all the domains of my life this year. Why has pushing toward my goals made me tired? I haven’t had enough recovery after sprinting toward my goals. Why haven’t I had enough recovery? I haven’t really internalized how important planning for recovery is to reaching my goals.

For the last several years, I’ve felt more tired in June and November than normal. I recognized this pattern and set a last year to take a recovery vacation every 3 months. I didn’t do that this quarter.

I knew I needed to. I set the intention for weeks to think about vacations and book a vacation. But I didn’t.

My BS story is that I don’t need the recovery time. I should be able to just power through. And yet every year it’s become painfully apparent that without that recovery I get tired. I burn out.

So what’s my new counterstory? My vacation recovery allows me to reach my goals powerfully and consistently. This new story is now something I think about every day – to integrate into my life and to make it my dominant story. That power and consistency helps me be my best leader self.

The counterstory is the key, but I’m also addressing the symptoms. How else can I get better sleep – and health? Exercising at the right time, eating more fruits and veggies, monitoring my biomarkers via blood test, researching supplements to enhance sleep, keeping the bedroom cooler, etc.

What challenges are you running up against as you look to be your best leader self?

The 5 Why tool is something our Leadership Circle integrates into our lives. Because if we want to be the best leaders and help our communities, our teams and our families face their challenges, we need to face our own challenges first. We need to really understand what’s holding us back and then create better stories and strategies to become who we really want to be.

I encourage you to spend just 2 minutes using the 5 Why tool to think through a challenge you're facing. Drill down deeper. Move as quickly as you can through the technique. The answers are not in your head – they are in your heart. The answers are where you'll find your breakthrough.

I’d love for you to share what you find. If you’re stuck, please reach out. I’m happy to help you.

How Do We Learn Happiness?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Sun, 12 Jun 2022 21:12:16 GMT

“Reaching beyond where you are is really important.”

- Dr. Martin Seligman

_________________

Learning Happiness

Last week, I shared something with you that wasn’t exactly true.

Starting in the 1960s, renowned psychologist and researcher Dr. Martin Seligman developed groundbreaking research on learned helplessness. What I shared of Dr. Seligman's, in a nutshell, is that if we face enough bad things in our lives, we learn to become helpless — we’re unable to move our lives forward. This helplessness is the exact opposite of happiness.

What wasn’t exactly true is that helplessness isn’t learned. Dr. Seligman’s research over decades has shown that helplessness is actually our default when we face prolonged challenges, shock or trauma. Helplessness is automatic.

That means that if we want to move to a happier place in our lives, we have to learn happiness. It’s not automatic.

“Don’t worry be happy” doesn’t work. If you think about it, when you’ve faced real adversity in your life over a long period of time, did someone saying something positive to you really help you?

Unlikely. In fact, it’s been proven by decades of research that we are the only ones who can to take positive steps in our own lives — called interventions — to make our lives happier.

What are the positive interventions we can take?

This is what we talked about this week in the Leadership Circle. Practicing gratitude. Designing a “beautiful” day. Harnessing our relationship “superpowers.” Building philanthropy and the “faith” domain of our lives.

Would you explore one with me? Here’s a 5 minute clip from our Leadership Circle training on “Beautiful Day Design.” This is just one way we can really move our happy dial in the right direction.

Easy to do? No. Why?

Knowledge isn’t power. Integrating meaningful knowledge into our daily lives is power . Without applying our knowledge day in and day out, we may learn but we won’t grow. It’s in the integration that we really move the happy dial.

You might start by picking one happiness intervention and applying the principle most days of the week.

That’s what we do in the Leadership Circle. We recognize that growth is about being in a supportive environment that helps us take consistent steps forward by knocking over what we call our “one thing dominos.” We knock over one small one, then another small one, then another small one, and so on.

Inevitably, one of our dominos doesn’t fall. That’s where we as a group talk about the “why” and set a new domino to get us back on track.

We all deserve great happiness in our lives. Maybe not at every moment, but in many moments.

Being happy won’t just happen. What domino can you knock over today to create a happier life?

Here’s to that happy journey!

Why Are We Helpless?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Sun, 12 Jun 2022 20:23:08 GMT

“While you can't control your experiences, you can control your explanations.”
- Dr. Martin Seligman

_________________

Ulvade. Pandemic. Ukraine. The world seems like it’s on fire.

And yet we often don’t look for the good news. The U.S. high school graduation rate is 85.3% -- an all-time high. Scientists developed a COVID vaccine in record time, and over 1 billion vaccines have been administered worldwide. Ukrainian President Zelensky expects 'good news' next week – the Ukrainian military is approaching the goal of having tech and tactical advantages over the Russian army.

What leads us to focus on what’s wrong in our world – often at the exclusion of everything else?

In the Leadership Circle this week, we talked about “Learned Helplessness,” a theory Dr. Martin Seligman first developed at the University of Pennsylvania in the 1960s.

He led an experiment I wouldn’t call particularly humane, but it may be one that has led to one of the most important findings ever on how disempowering beliefs are born.

Dr. Seligman put sets of dogs into 3 groups. The first group was set in a room with shocks on one side of the room and no shocks on the other. The second group was set in a room with shocks on both sides of the room. A third group was the control group.

As you might imagine, the first group of dogs learned that if they were shocked on the one side of the room that they could go to the other side of the room and not get shocked.

The second group was shocked no matter where they were. What did they learn? That there was nothing they could do to stop the shocks. They simply laid down and whined. They learned helplessness.

Have you ever felt that no matter what you did, you had no control over what happened? What did you do? With so much bad happening, have you ever just stayed in bed? Or maybe just sleep-walked through your day?

That’s learned helplessness. We get hit with bad thing after bad thing that are outside of our control, consistently, and over time, and we just give up. That leads to depression, and that depression can last a short time or it can become chronic.

Helplessness can become our story.

But that’s a false story. We have every ability to change our situations, but we must believe we can change our situations .

How do we do that? That’s something we practice in the Leadership Circle. It’s not about the power of positive thinking. We can’t just wish that life is or will be all butterflies and rainbows. That’s bull.

It’s also bull to think life is worse than it is. Life is what it is, period. Once we understand that, and we get clear on what we really want, we can actively work on what the root cause of our bulls**t story, create a more empowering story, and take real action toward what makes that new, more empowering story stick.

Whether you’re a solo entrepreneur or you lead a team, I’m guessing you’ve faced situations that have felt helpless. I’m also guessing that if you’re reading this you’ve powered through some of those situations.

What if you could power through faster and stack longer lasting “wins” when you face these situations?

If you’re not quite ready, I hope you’ll take some time to look for the empowering stories like the ones I shared at the top of this article, and especially in what’s going good in your life right now.

If you’d like to grow the leader within you with a system that will really help you elevate, shoot me a quick email and say “I’m in." I’ll share with you a few next steps.

Onwards!

Mother's Day Deconstructed

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Sun, 12 Jun 2022 20:20:11 GMT

"Modeling self-care to the adults, teens, and children in our life can be invaluable in encouraging them to engage in self-care too."
- Angelica Attard, Psy D. for Psychology Today

___________________

We’re a week beyond Mother’s Day. As a father of 2 adopted sons and a coach, I’m seeing a very different side of Mother’s Day.

I spoke with so many moms over these last few weeks, and I’ve had several extraordinary conversations and heard so many incredible things like…

…”my son is the most important thing to me”…

…”my kids are the best thing I ever did”…

…”my kids are my everything”…

It’s not that I haven’t heard these things before. It’s not that the extraordinary things mothers have done and are doing are something new — mothers have been doing these things for years and years. It’s that I’m really listening to what’s being said and all the many feelings behind the words.

Joy. Guilt. Pride. Worry. Exhaustion. Love. Just to name a few.

We often talk about the sacrifices that mothers make in the things that they do and have done for us instead of the things that they might have done without children. And that’s true. Obviously, I'll never be able to fully appreciate what life is like as a mom. But I'm seeing another dimension.

The deepest sacrifice that many mothers make may be the sacrifice of self.

When I think about mothers talking about their kids being “the most important,” “my everything” and the “best thing,” what I’m understanding on a deeper level is the incredible investment a mother makes of self into the life of a child. Most moms absolutely invest time, money, energy and love. But what I’m now wondering about how many mothers are elevating their children above themselves.

Many mothers seem to make these sacrifices of self throughout their lives.

This type of sacrifice is incredible. We grow through the forces of nature and nurture, and the that’s the nurture part of the equation. A summary of studies on twins for Nature Genetics showed that human traits, personality and diseases are 49% influenced by nature and 51% accounted for by nurture — our upbringing.

I’m also wondering about the problems a mother faces in sacrificing her sense of self.

When we fly somewhere, before lift off, we’re reminded by our flight attendants that in the event of an emergency, the oxygen masks will drop. We should put the masks on ourselves first before putting it on our children. Why?

If it takes too much time to put the mask on our children, we can die from hypoxia. Bottom line: we need to help ourselves first so that we can help others.

It’s easy to forget about ourselves and our needs when we are caught up helping others. Caring for yourself, as psychologist Angelica Attard shares, is about “remembering to find the road back” to taking care of ourselves.

To effectively help others, Attard shares, “we have to serve ourselves first; otherwise, we will eventually run out of energy, capacity, and oxygen. Self-care can enable us to be our best self for ourselves and for others. Furthermore, modeling self-care to the adults, teens, and children in our life can be invaluable in encouraging them to engage in self-care too.”

As we deconstruct what Mother’s Day is all about, it should always be a celebration of how moms have helped us in our lives.

And to you who are mothers, I hope it will also be a reminder to put the oxygen masks on yourselves first and care for the “non Family” domains of your lives. Care for your Focus, Feelings, Fitness, Fun, Faith and Finances.

Mothers, what do you think? I'd love to hear from you. Above all, please take good care of yourselves every other day of the year — because we need you to be your best selves too!

See you inside the Groups!

What Makes for Extraordinary Relationships?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Sun, 12 Jun 2022 20:17:31 GMT

"Flow" comes from focusing on

what we really want.

_________________

On a cool spring evening, Jess, Miles and I got together to hang out and talk on their front porch. I imagine many great conversations have happened on front porches across the world.

This conversation took an extraordinary direction when we talked about relationships. The topic of longevity in a relationship came up. What keeps people together, through good times and bad?

I threw out “growth” as really important. That’s where Jess and Miles took two really important steps further.

“It’s also about direction,” Jess said. “Are we moving in the same direction as the people we love.” Because if we’re not, we may be growing but growing apart.

We also talked about "pace." Two people — or a team — might be growing, but if they are growing at different speeds then eventually someone needs to catch up. Or they are left behind.

Growth, direction, and pace. All extraordinarily important to great relationships, whether in our professional lives or our personal ones.

As I reflect back on the conversation, what made it extraordinary was not just the concepts, but that Jess and Miles were in a kind of flow as they talked about the concepts. The conversation mattered to them. It mattered because while they were helping me explore the concepts, it also felt like they were actually practicing the concepts we were talking about — growth, direction and pace — in the very conversation we were having.

Flow. Extraordinary relationships can find a rhythm that just feels right.

This blog and my Leadership Circle coaching are about just that. How do we find a flow? Flow comes from focusing — together — on what we really want. And yet too often we don’t take the time to talk about what we want to focus on in the longer term with our teams, whether our work teams or our friends and family teams.

Wherever you are on this journey, I invite you to share what you’re focusing on now, on your own and with your teams. This is how we get into flow, expanding what we can do and who we are, together.

Happy May Day...and see you inside the Groups!

Has Your Shift Started?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Sun, 12 Jun 2022 20:13:11 GMT

Starve your "shoulds."

Feed your focus.

________________

Goals are funny things.

We’re constantly reminded that we should set goals and we should drive toward our goals. It’s like some other “shoulds” in life — we should get 8 hours of sleep. We should eat a balanced diet and exercise regularly. We should be grateful for what we have.

What if we stopped thinking about “should” and started to really think about the kind of lives we deserve to live?

In the Leadership Circle this week, our group dove into last quarter’s wins and the challenges we faced. We didn’t talk about what we “should” have done. We talked about how we got closer to some of what we wanted.

We dove even deeper into why we struggled with some of the things that we set our sights on. Like reigniting relationships and reenergizing the work day. What was the breakthrough?

Shifting focus.

Whether it was working in the same room as a loved one (vs alone), or adding a peak state exercise to the afternoon (vs spending time in anxiety). Whether it was planning the next day in the evening (vs the morning), or taking some action right as a decision was made (vs delaying it to later).

By building some focused time into our lives, and shifting our focus from “I should” to “how can I,” our brains starts to work for us.

This blog and our Breakthrough to Destiny group starts the journey, and our Leadership Circle is that journey.

Rather than live in the disempowering emotion of “should,” we live in the empowered emotion of “I can” and “I am.”

Try it on for size. "I can and I am."

Wherever you are on this journey, I invite you to join this conversation and expand what we can do and who we are, together. Happy Easter, Happy Passover, and Happy Weekend. See you inside the Groups!

The Leader's Dilemma...What Do I Pick?

jp@ceghomes.com (J.P. Montalvan) — Sun, 12 Jun 2022 20:07:57 GMT

"The only way you're going to be successful is if you admit what you don't know and you ask for help."

-- Randi Zuckerberg

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This week in our Leadership Circle , I shared something I found very powerful -- something I learned from Randi Zuckerberg and her book “Pick 3: You Can Have It All (Just Not Every Day).”

In her book, Zuckerberg talks about the 5 areas of life that are the most important. Work. Family. Friends. Sleep. Fitness.

In many ways these 5 areas are very similar to the 7 domains that we talked about in "Breakthrough to Destiny."

Family/Friends

Finances

Faith

Fun

Fitness

Feelings

Focus

While the 7 domains are more expansive, allowing us to dive deeper into all aspects of our lives and how they affect each other, Zuckerberg’s idea of picking three areas to focus on each day is brilliant.

That doesn’t mean that we don’t do anything as it relates to our other 4 domains each day. It just means that if we think of knocking over the today “dominoes” that will knock over the bigger dominos in our future, and we pick 3 domains for larger dominoes and we knock those over, we’re directing our brains to get even more clear on what we need to do to live the lives we want.

That doesn’t mean ignore the other dominos. It means that in the other 4 domains, knock over small dominos!

What do small dominoes in the 7 domains look like? Maybe a quick video message to a friend. It could be a short prayer or some short, quiet moments of reflection. How about cueing up a favorite song? Maybe drinking 3x40oz water bottles for the day to push your hydration. It could be writing down three things that you’re grateful for.

And the focus domain? Pick 3 big dominoes and 4 small ones each day and your focus domain is set!

How different will our lives be as we keep holding ourselves and each other accountable to "Pick 3" and the things that we really want? Destiny isn’t just a fancy word. It’s exactly what we can find if we’re willing to plan the work, work the plan and surround ourselves with others who are doing the same.

Here’s to being on the journey to do that with you. See you inside the Groups!