The Leader's Dilemma...What Do I Pick?
J.P. Montalvan • June 12, 2022
"The only way you're going to be successful is if you admit what you don't know and you ask for help."
-- Randi Zuckerberg
__________________
This week in our
Leadership Circle, I shared something I found very powerful -- something I learned from Randi Zuckerberg and her book “Pick 3: You Can Have It All (Just Not Every Day).”
In her book, Zuckerberg talks about the 5 areas of life that are the most important. Work. Family. Friends. Sleep. Fitness.
In many ways these 5 areas are very similar to the 7 domains that we talked about in "Breakthrough to Destiny."
Family/Friends
Finances
Faith
Fun
Fitness
Feelings
Focus
While the 7 domains are more expansive, allowing us to dive deeper into all aspects of our lives and how they affect each other, Zuckerberg’s idea of picking three areas to focus on each day is brilliant.
That doesn’t mean that we don’t do anything as it relates to our other 4 domains each day. It just means that if we think of knocking over the today “dominoes” that will knock over the bigger dominos in our future, and we pick 3 domains for larger dominoes and we knock those over, we’re directing our brains to get even more clear on what we need to do to live the lives we want.
That doesn’t mean ignore the other dominos. It means that in the other 4 domains, knock over small dominos!
What do small dominoes in the 7 domains look like? Maybe a quick video message to a friend. It could be a short prayer or some short, quiet moments of reflection. How about cueing up a favorite song? Maybe drinking 3x40oz water bottles for the day to push your hydration. It could be writing down three things that you’re grateful for.
And the focus domain? Pick 3 big dominoes and 4 small ones each day and your focus domain is set!
How different will our lives be as we keep holding ourselves and each other accountable to "Pick 3" and the things that we really want? Destiny isn’t just a fancy word. It’s exactly what we can find if we’re willing to plan the work, work the plan and surround ourselves with others who are doing the same.
Here’s to being on the journey to do that with you. See you inside the Groups!

As a leadership coach, I get to work with a diverse range of entrepreneurs and intrapreneurs – quite a few real estate agents, fitness professionals, mortgage lenders, government contractors and others. Come April, it's like clockwork – we all start realizing how easy it is to lose sight of our yearly goals by the end of the first quarter. Life gets busy, we get caught up in the whirlwind of reactivity, and suddenly, those big dreams we had at the start of the year feel miles away.

As most of you know, tragedy struck on what would have otherwise been an ordinary night earlier this week in the heart of Baltimore. The Francis Scott Key Bridge, an iconic structure that spanned the Patapsco River, became the focal point of a devastating disaster that has shaken Baltimore and the region to its core. As I think about the events of that night, there’s a lot to unpack, from preparedness and the “why” behind a crisis to quick thinking and the human capacity for heroism in the face of adversity.

Happy Hump Day!
I don’t usually reach out to you on Wednesdays, and I wanted to share that Wednesday isn't just any ol' day – it's the linchpin of your week. Why?
As I’m sharing with my Leadership Circle this quarter, Wednesday isn't just the midpoint of the typical work week calendar. It's a golden opportunity for us to hit pause, reassess, and realign ourselves with what really matters – our weekly priorities.

Edwin was born in the small town of Steubenville, Ohio. His education started in Miss Randle’s kindergarten and was followed by Henry Orr’s seminary around the block. At 10, he entered George Buchanan’s nearby Latin school where he was called “an imperious and self-reliant young man.”
Edwin’s lifelong struggle with asthma might have contributed to his temper, but so could have the early death of his father and the deaths of his brother and two children.
And on the eve of achieving his life’s dream — nomination to the Supreme Court — Edwin Stanton’s chronic asthma caused his death in 1869.

As I sit here late at night in my parent’s family room, a few hours away from our home, thinking about you, it dawns on me that we’re often wrapped up with how leadership impacts us in the work world. But the reality is that it permeates every part of our lives – and especially our relationships with family and friends.
This weekend, the conversations with my parents are covering a myriad of topics, from advice on navigating parenthood with our newborn daughter to discussing strategies for managing their health.

Recently, Veronica and I took a trip to the beautiful Virginia countryside around Flint Hill, Virginia. As we took in the breathtaking, winter scenery of rolling hills, horses, cattle and more, we decided to stop for lunch at the inviting Dark Horse Irish Pub. Little did we know that our dining experience would include both delicious food and the unexpected wisdom of a heartfelt connection.
Upon entering the cozy pub, we were greeted incredibly warmly. Our waiter was a young man who attended to us graciously through our meal, and when he had to leave was replaced by an older waiter. The older waiter had a twinkle in his eye, as they say, and he immediately struck a chord with us. As our main meal switched to delicious desserts, he engaged us in some lively conversation and took a genuine interest in our newborn daughter in the stroller by our table. His genuine care and enthusiasm was really something.

In the challenging world of Hollywood, with a sea of scripts and opportunities, Reese knew what she wanted. Despite some early success and the offers of darker and more intense roles, she was drawn towards “optimistic” storylines that inspired and uplifted. She wanted to make a meaningful impact on her audience, especially girls and young women.
“I got a role in this movie called Freeway playing this really angry, aggressive, violent young woman who believed wholeheartedly in the truth,” Reese shared. “I had such satisfaction afterward, and I thought, that's what I want to do.”

Closing the Gap: Kareem’s Legacy and Your “Big 3” to Success
In the fast-paced world we live in, it's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of daily tasks and lose sight of our priorities. If you’re anything like me, it happens when we think about the gaps between where we are and where we want to go, in business or in our personal lives.
Kareem dedicates much of his time now to empowering marginalized communities, reflected in his book "Writings on the Wall: Searching for a New Equality Beyond Black and White." He was asked once about his ability to prioritize amidst the glitz of a storied career.

Getting picked last isn't great. Brock would know…
As February rolls in, it's time for a reality check on our goals. How often have you lost sight of your aspirations by now, slipping from proactive to reactive mode? I know I have in the past. How do we stay focused in the chaos of a competitive, hyperconnected world? That's a heck of a ball game.
And when we lose sight of our goals – our big goals – we are picking ourselves last.