Jared's actions are a story of confidence against tough odds...
J.P. Montalvan • May 29, 2023
"Jared did something no amount of training can instill. His patrol leader said he'd go, but Jared said, ‘No, he is my soldier. I'm going to get him.'"
-- President Barak Obama
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Jared's actions are a story of confidence against tough odds...
Jared was born in Abington, Massachusetts and was always an adventurous boy. As a four-year-old, he disappeared from the backyard one day, and his mother found him later hanging by the hood of his sweatshirt on the other side of the stockade fence.
Jared was a goal-setter, and he knew that failure was a part of achieving goals. Cut from the high school basketball team not once but twice, he finally made the varsity team and outscored some of the team’s top players. He was fascinated by the military, and when he was told he was too young to enlist, he joined the National Guard's delayed entry program as a high school junior. That summer, while his friends were at the beach, Jared was doing drills.
By the time he was 30, Jared was a Sergeant First Class and was starting his second rotation into Afghanistan. For his acts of bravery in Afghanistan, Jared Monti was posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor.
This Memorial Day weekend, as we honor those who made the ultimate sacrifice so we can enjoy our freedoms, I’ve found Jared’s story incredibly inspiring – and a story of confidence.
Confidence plays a crucial role in achieving success, both in our professional lives and in our personal lives. It is our belief in our abilities and that allows us to take risks, overcome obstacles, and persevere. While some people seem naturally confident, confidence is really a skill that we can develop and nurture over time.
Command Sgt. Maj. Delbert Byers, 197th Infantry Brigade, fought alongside Jared on the day of actions that led to his award and his sacrifice. Sgt. Byers recalled not only Jared's heroic efforts, but also his confidence. “His love of soldiers, ability to train and pass on his mastery of skills, and his understanding of maneuver, made him the finest forward observer, soldier and leader I have ever known," said Byers.
This month, my Leadership Circle is talking about what I call the “3 C’s of Success” – competence, confidence and connectivity. These interconnected qualities form a powerful triad that propels people toward success. Whether you want to excel in your career, build meaningful relationships, or tackle new challenges, nurturing your competence, confidence, and connectivity will pave the way for you to succeed.
So how can you build confidence?
Last week we talked about how a commitment to education, continuously learning, and adapting and reinventing ourselves builds competence. Confidence builds on that…
1. Set and Achieve Goals:
Goal setting is an integral part of building confidence. We’ve talked about setting SMART goals that align with what you want. Break them down into smaller, “domino” steps and execute. Celebrate your achievements and acknowledge your hard work. Each success fuels your confidence, providing evidence of your capabilities and reinforcing your belief in your ability to succeed.
On his day of action, Monti was leading a mission aimed at gathering intelligence and directing fire against the enemy. His 16-man patrol was attacked by as many as 50 enemy fighters. On the verge of being overrun, Monti quickly directed his men to set up a defensive position behind a rock formation. He called for indirect fire support, accurately targeting the rounds on the enemy who had closed to within 50 meters of his position. While still directing fire, he engaged the enemy with his rifle and a grenade, successfully disrupting an attempt to flank his patrol.
2. Embrace Failure as Growth:
Setbacks or failures can challenge your confidence. Embrace these experiences as opportunities for growth and personal shortcomings. Learn from your mistakes, adapt your approach, and persevere. By reframing failure as a natural part of the learning process, you develop resilience and bounce back stronger. This resilience bolsters your confidence, as you realize that setbacks do not define your worth or future success.
During the engagement, Monti realized one of his men was wounded and in open ground between the advancing enemy and the patrol's position. With complete disregard for his own safety, Monti attempted to move from behind the cover of rocks into enemy fire twice to rescue his fellow soldiers. Determined not to leave him behind, Monti made a third attempt to cross open terrain through intense enemy fire. On his final attempt he was mortally wounded, sacrificing his own life to save his patrol.
3. Practice Positive Self-Talk:
The way you talk to yourself significantly impacts your confidence. Cultivate a positive internal dialogue by practicing self-compassion and reframing negative thoughts. Replace self-doubt with affirmations that reinforce your strengths and potential. Build strong connections with people who will support you and will encourage your confidence.
Paul Monti, Jared’s father, said his son was an extremely humble person who never gave up. Jared’s resolve to do the right thing had a lasting impact on the hearts of those he touched. “He always had it in his mind that he had to do the right thing,” Paul Monti said of his son. “And the right thing at that time was to help to save his fellow soldiers.”
Our Leadership Circle is about setting goals, embracing failure, and expressing our belief in each other. If you’re looking to build your confidence, find a group that focuses on growth and support.
Building confidence is an ongoing process. Set goals. Embrace failure. Engage in positive self-talk. Like competence, the path toward confidence doesn’t have an ultimate destination. It is a continuing journey. Embrace the challenges, celebrate your achievements, and keep challenging yourself.
Paul Monti says “You don’t have to try to be a hero, ever. All you need to do is to always try your hardest and to always do the right thing and let that guide you in life as it guided my son.”
What are your next steps toward growing your confidence? I’d love to hear from you.
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Happy Hump Day!
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Edwin was born in the small town of Steubenville, Ohio. His education started in Miss Randle’s kindergarten and was followed by Henry Orr’s seminary around the block. At 10, he entered George Buchanan’s nearby Latin school where he was called “an imperious and self-reliant young man.”
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Getting picked last isn't great. Brock would know…
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