Who do you need to be?
J.P. Montalvan • August 22, 2022
“It's not what you look at the matters, it's what you see."
- Henry David Thoreau
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You can’t have it.
Let me take that back. You can have it, but you can’t have it without seeing yourself having it.
Think about it. Think about something big — really big — that you got. Think about all the things, big and small, you did to get it. The reason you were able to get it is because you saw yourself having it. You had a deep enough desire to really envision yourself with it.
What if, instead of just seeing yourself having it, you spent time really imagining yourself who you will be a month from now or a year from now with it in your life? In other words, think about visualizing backwards, looking back at your current self and saying “you got this.”
Oprah Winfrey was born poor in rural Mississippi. She was molested as a child and a teen — and she became pregnant at 14. She lost the baby as an infant.
That’s not where her story ends. She talks about how she created her visions and looked at herself “backwards” as already being the person with that. “Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life,” she said, “because you become what you believe.”
I shattered my kneecap when I was 22 years old. After a marathon surgery, several days on 30mg of morphine and several weeks in a cast and fitted with a restricted brace, I remember my doctor saying that I would ever be a competitive athlete again. But that’s not where my story ends. I saw myself as an athlete.
Since then, I’ve been a competitive 10k runner, biathlete, cyclist and adventure racer.
I encourage you to try it. Imagine yourself looking back at the current you with that relationship, that business, that confidence, that vacation, that body, that mindset you really want as if you have it right now in your life.
Rather than ask the question “what do I need to do,” you might think about the question “who will I be” and visualize being that person looking backwards to today.
Ultimately, to become your vision, you will need to drive and dedicate yourself to the many little actions and changes that you will need to make to match your future self. Before you are ready to take those steps, I encourage you to become your future self in your mind.
I’m willing to bet that you’ll like what you see.

As a leadership coach, I get to work with a diverse range of entrepreneurs and intrapreneurs – quite a few real estate agents, fitness professionals, mortgage lenders, government contractors and others. Come April, it's like clockwork – we all start realizing how easy it is to lose sight of our yearly goals by the end of the first quarter. Life gets busy, we get caught up in the whirlwind of reactivity, and suddenly, those big dreams we had at the start of the year feel miles away.

As most of you know, tragedy struck on what would have otherwise been an ordinary night earlier this week in the heart of Baltimore. The Francis Scott Key Bridge, an iconic structure that spanned the Patapsco River, became the focal point of a devastating disaster that has shaken Baltimore and the region to its core. As I think about the events of that night, there’s a lot to unpack, from preparedness and the “why” behind a crisis to quick thinking and the human capacity for heroism in the face of adversity.

Happy Hump Day!
I don’t usually reach out to you on Wednesdays, and I wanted to share that Wednesday isn't just any ol' day – it's the linchpin of your week. Why?
As I’m sharing with my Leadership Circle this quarter, Wednesday isn't just the midpoint of the typical work week calendar. It's a golden opportunity for us to hit pause, reassess, and realign ourselves with what really matters – our weekly priorities.

Edwin was born in the small town of Steubenville, Ohio. His education started in Miss Randle’s kindergarten and was followed by Henry Orr’s seminary around the block. At 10, he entered George Buchanan’s nearby Latin school where he was called “an imperious and self-reliant young man.”
Edwin’s lifelong struggle with asthma might have contributed to his temper, but so could have the early death of his father and the deaths of his brother and two children.
And on the eve of achieving his life’s dream — nomination to the Supreme Court — Edwin Stanton’s chronic asthma caused his death in 1869.

As I sit here late at night in my parent’s family room, a few hours away from our home, thinking about you, it dawns on me that we’re often wrapped up with how leadership impacts us in the work world. But the reality is that it permeates every part of our lives – and especially our relationships with family and friends.
This weekend, the conversations with my parents are covering a myriad of topics, from advice on navigating parenthood with our newborn daughter to discussing strategies for managing their health.

Recently, Veronica and I took a trip to the beautiful Virginia countryside around Flint Hill, Virginia. As we took in the breathtaking, winter scenery of rolling hills, horses, cattle and more, we decided to stop for lunch at the inviting Dark Horse Irish Pub. Little did we know that our dining experience would include both delicious food and the unexpected wisdom of a heartfelt connection.
Upon entering the cozy pub, we were greeted incredibly warmly. Our waiter was a young man who attended to us graciously through our meal, and when he had to leave was replaced by an older waiter. The older waiter had a twinkle in his eye, as they say, and he immediately struck a chord with us. As our main meal switched to delicious desserts, he engaged us in some lively conversation and took a genuine interest in our newborn daughter in the stroller by our table. His genuine care and enthusiasm was really something.

In the challenging world of Hollywood, with a sea of scripts and opportunities, Reese knew what she wanted. Despite some early success and the offers of darker and more intense roles, she was drawn towards “optimistic” storylines that inspired and uplifted. She wanted to make a meaningful impact on her audience, especially girls and young women.
“I got a role in this movie called Freeway playing this really angry, aggressive, violent young woman who believed wholeheartedly in the truth,” Reese shared. “I had such satisfaction afterward, and I thought, that's what I want to do.”

Closing the Gap: Kareem’s Legacy and Your “Big 3” to Success
In the fast-paced world we live in, it's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of daily tasks and lose sight of our priorities. If you’re anything like me, it happens when we think about the gaps between where we are and where we want to go, in business or in our personal lives.
Kareem dedicates much of his time now to empowering marginalized communities, reflected in his book "Writings on the Wall: Searching for a New Equality Beyond Black and White." He was asked once about his ability to prioritize amidst the glitz of a storied career.

Getting picked last isn't great. Brock would know…
As February rolls in, it's time for a reality check on our goals. How often have you lost sight of your aspirations by now, slipping from proactive to reactive mode? I know I have in the past. How do we stay focused in the chaos of a competitive, hyperconnected world? That's a heck of a ball game.
And when we lose sight of our goals – our big goals – we are picking ourselves last.