Why Are We Helpless?

J.P. Montalvan • June 12, 2022
“While you can't control your experiences, you can control your explanations.”
 - Dr. Martin Seligman

_________________


Ulvade. Pandemic. Ukraine. The world seems like it’s on fire.

And yet we often don’t look for the good news. The U.S. high school graduation rate is 85.3% -- an all-time high. Scientists developed a COVID vaccine in record time, and over 1 billion vaccines have been administered worldwide. Ukrainian President Zelensky expects 'good news' next week – the Ukrainian military is approaching the goal of having tech and tactical advantages over the Russian army.

What leads us to focus on what’s wrong in our world – often at the exclusion of everything else?

In the Leadership Circle this week, we talked about “Learned Helplessness,” a theory Dr. Martin Seligman first developed at the University of Pennsylvania in the 1960s.

He led an experiment I wouldn’t call particularly humane, but it may be one that has led to one of the most important findings ever on how disempowering beliefs are born.

Dr. Seligman put sets of dogs into 3 groups. The first group was set in a room with shocks on one side of the room and no shocks on the other. The second group was set in a room with shocks on both sides of the room. A third group was the control group.

As you might imagine, the first group of dogs learned that if they were shocked on the one side of the room that they could go to the other side of the room and not get shocked.

The second group was shocked no matter where they were. What did they learn? That there was nothing they could do to stop the shocks. They simply laid down and whined. They learned helplessness.

Have you ever felt that no matter what you did, you had no control over what happened? What did you do? With so much bad happening, have you ever just stayed in bed? Or maybe just sleep-walked through your day?

That’s learned helplessness. We get hit with bad thing after bad thing that are outside of our control, consistently, and over time, and we just give up. That leads to depression, and that depression can last a short time or it can become chronic.

Helplessness can become our story.

But that’s a false story. We have every ability to change our situations, but we must believe we can change our situations.

How do we do that? That’s something we practice in the Leadership Circle. It’s not about the power of positive thinking. We can’t just wish that life is or will be all butterflies and rainbows. That’s bull.

It’s also bull to think life is worse than it is. Life is what it is, period. Once we understand that, and we get clear on what we really want, we can actively work on what the root cause of our bulls**t story, create a more empowering story, and take real action toward what makes that new, more empowering story stick.

Whether you’re a solo entrepreneur or you lead a team, I’m guessing you’ve faced situations that have felt helpless. I’m also guessing that if you’re reading this you’ve powered through some of those situations.

What if you could power through faster and stack longer lasting “wins” when you face these situations?

If you’re not quite ready, I hope you’ll take some time to look for the empowering stories like the ones I shared at the top of this article, and especially in what’s going good in your life right now.

If you’d like to grow the leader within you with a system that will really help you elevate, shoot me a quick email and say “I’m in." I’ll share with you a few next steps.

Onwards!
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